[goldos mom]

I have been in a relationship for a year now. Everything was going well and we were very happy. He recently went to the doctor and the doctor said that he has a prostate infection, that can later on lead to prostate cancer. We have not had any kind of sexual contact for more than 1 month, and it seems as if its going to be longer than that. I am 21 and he is 36. He is a bit young to be having prostate problems but he has them. Now he's become very jealous, very depressed. I console him and Im there for him, but what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to go the rest of my life without sex? He's always complaining that it hurts so I don't even bother to ask him but like any female, we need it from time to time! What to do:( :confused:

[rileyma]

If you love him you will be there for him. Maybe this is a good test to see where your feelings really are with him. If they are loving and sincere then you will do whatever it takes to be with him and make him happy. Even if that means going without something like sex for a while.

[goldos mom]

That's true, but what Im really afraid of is being in this relationship if he's not confident. He knows that he's the only one that can make me happy but, somewhere down the road he's forgetting that (no matter how many times I reassure him), and him getting jealous for me even going to visit my family is uncalled for. I have been in abusive relationships before, I have been with men that were jealous to the EXTREME so Im just afraid that he will get to that point. Im always reassuring him, letting him know that I love him.

[rileyma]

Thats true, but what Im really afraid of is being in this relationship if he's not confident. He knows that he's the only one that can make me happy but, somewhere down the road hes forgetting that (no matter how many times i reassure him), and him getting jealous for me even going to visit my family is uncalled for. I have been in abusive relationships before, I have been with men that were jealous to the EXTREME so Im just afraid that he will get to that point. Im always reassuring him, letting him know that i love him.

All you can do is keep reassuring him and loving him. Over time he will hopefully start to trust you. You can't throw in the towel now and assume that he is going to get abussive later. A lot of times you get what you give. So, give him love and reassurance and he will eventually give it back.

[goldos mom]

I don't know what to do. He spends more time sleeping and laying around the house now. He doesn't want to go out and spend time with me and his step-son (he considers him his son). He just wants to sit and play Xbox all day. I don't fight about it because I'd rather him do that than to be out clubbing, God knows I can't do clubbing no more. There's just so much more and so much responsibilities to life rather than hang out. It just bothers me that he's not quite being "part of the family" anymore. Why is this? < I think this question is for men.

[rileyma]

I dont know what to do. He spends more time sleeping and laying around the house now. He doesn't want to go out and spend time with me and his step-son (he considers him his son). He just wants to sit and play x-box all day. I dont fight about it because i'd rather him do that than to be out clubbing, God knows I can't do clubbing no more. Theres just so much more and so much responsibilities to life rather than hang out. It just bothers me that he's not quite being "part of the family" anymore. Why is this? < i think this question is for men.

It sounds like he's distancing himself from everyone. Is he depressed? Getting off the couch would be a big step towards getting out of that depression. Maybe you can suggest that he go for a walk with you at night.

[goldos mom]

Yeah I wish. But he's just not that type of man. He doesn't like walks, he doesn't like picnics. Hes very depressed, and very insecure because he's also put on a couple of pounds, probably about 10-15 pounds. Hes not going to the gym anymore.HES NOT DOING ANYTHING! And I don't know what to do with him, because I feel like Im doing my damnest to make things work and to help him and be there for him and my son. I just wish things would go back to normal, to how it used to be. No doubt in my mind that I will be there for him but, I don't want him to make the mistake of distancing me to where I will have no choice but to leave him. Hes already showing signs... right?

[rileyma]

Yeah I wish. But he's just not that type of man. He doesn't like walks, he doesn't like picnics. Hes very depressed, and very insecure because he's also put on a couple of pounds, probably about 10-15 pounds. Hes not going to the gym anymore.HES NOT DOING ANYTHING! and i dont know what to do with him, because I feel like Im doing my damnest to make things work and to help him and be there for him and my son. I just wish things would go back to normal, to how it used to be. No doubt in my mind that I will be there for him but, I dont want him to make the mistake of distancing me to where I will have no choice but to leave him. Hes already showing signs...right?

I don't think this has anything to do with you. I think that he is depressed. When you are depressed you aren't going to have a healthy state of mind that is needed for a relationship. He needs to first get over his depression. Then your relationship will recover. Can you get him some help with the depression?

[talaniman]

He is showing signs of depression and you can only get him to see his doctor for some professional help. If he won't go, then you contact his doctor and explain his behavior. Sometimes his meds has him off so the doctor needs to know everything. Good luck and let us know what happens, and don't take it personally or get down about it.

[baskingonthesun]

I think he is depressed more than anything else. Prostate infection is treatable and it is not a reason to not have sex ever. In contrary - it is good to move some "juce"!