[laura hamilton]

This is probably going to seem to you like I am over reacting. I probably am but I can't help feelig like I do.

I just rung my boyfriend to say that I would be round to see him tonight.
He said he couldn't be bothered to see me as I am seeing him tommorw.
He said he needs an early night even though he never goes to bed early when he says that.
He then just hung up on me and won't answer my calls or texts.
He is confusing me yersterday he said he missed me and loved me and wanted to see me now he doesn't?
Do you think this could be a sign he is cheating?

I don't know what to think, all I know is that I just want to cry because I'm sick of our relationship being up and down all the time.

I love him so much and hate feeling like this

X

[Rina _4]

Well, if the relationship is up and down all the time, don't you think it's time to move on with some one that is stable, honest and communicative? If you are treating him with respect and honesty then you should expect the same of him. A relationship is not just a one way street, it takes two to make it work and I think you deserve better. Don't waste time crying over some one that has no time for you, life is too short.

If you want to know if he is cheating or not then all you have to do is ask him that question other wise do the investigating yourself.

Good luck

[SAB123]

Are you a clingy person or do you see him all the time.

[saraispiel19]

If it's α new relαtionship like 6 months less αround he's probαbly freαking out thαt you wαnt to be αround him 24/7 he's still in the buddy/buddy mentαlity kindα thing.. so give him some spαce don't smother him... cheαting is α possibility but it could αlso be thαt he's getting αnnoyed αnd would rαther leαve you αlone thαn αnswering you αnd hαving to hαve to explαin why he would rαther hαve some time to himself or his buddies..

guys αre just wierd like thαt-- just becαuse they wαnt spαce from women doesn't meαn he's out finding αnother crαzy one..

[SameOldSituation]

He should be more sensitive to you. Doesn't want to be "bothered," and just hangs up on you---that's a bunch of crap.

Yeah--it's true--some people don't like to be "bothered" and smothered and that sort of thing. But... you're in a relationship... you've got to realize the sig other wants to be with you. At the very least, you can be nice to them about it.

In any event, I would NOT jump to the conclusion that he's cheating. Don't go down that accusatory road. If you find out he is, then, that's another story. But right now, all you've got is he is being distant, and isn't thinking about your feelings too much.

That may be a problem in itself. I think too often we get caught up in "is he/she cheating?", and forget the boatload of other issues that can make us unhappy.

I'd talk to him. Tell him how the hanging up upset you. He may tell you he's sorry about that, and that he was just frustrated, and maybe you can talk it out from there.

[saraispiel19]

sαmeold: so your sαying thαt you never once got αnnoyed with α girl αnd just wαnted to wαlk αwαy, hαng up..
Plus you don't know if this girl only txt / cαlled him bαck once or if she did it 10+

[SameOldSituation]

hmmmmmmm... not annoyed, no, due to her just wanting to talk to me. But I have certainly hung up and then not answered... that sort of thing--yes (say in an argument or something). And I can totally understand someone doing it as well, because they were annoyed.

Doesn't make it right. Especially if it becomes a repeated thing. And if you see someone calling again afer you hung up on them, it's probably safe to assume they are upset. Perhaps I'm sensitive to this subject, because my ex used to hang up on me and then not talk to me for weeks at a time. Seriously. Once she didn't talk to me for a month. I would call, be nice, wish her a nice day-- all over voice mail. Then I would just sit back and wait... and... nothing! And it started with this "i don't want to see you / we don't need to talk" stuff. I hardly saw her anyway---it was long distance (maybe saw her on the wknds). She's in school, and I'm at work, so I really valued the time I could talk to her.

But that's why the last thing I said was, "I'd talk to him. Tell him how the hanging up upset you. He may tell you he's sorry about that, and that he was just frustrated, and maybe you can talk it out from there," because I realize I may be sensitive about it.

Most folks probably just get frustrated, and it blows over and the whole situation is a thing of the past.

[Lowtax4eva]

Yeah, it really depends, have you seen him every day (or almost every day) this week? It might be nothing but then again it's so hard to know without having a bit more detail about how he acts normally.

[emopunk7]

I have to be honest. I have done the "hang up on you" thing, but after five mintues, I would call back and fix things if the other person hasn't already. That's just how I am. The person I was with would never call back. And if she would call back, it was only to attack me some more or to be pissed off I hung up in which case, she would curse me out. I'm just not like that. Even when she hung up, I'd call her. I always tried fixing everything because I hate fighting and I think she didn't care if we did. She would get upset over anything as much as I tried keeping her calm. So it was a repeated thing. I should've left that relationship a long time ago, but it came to the point 2 months ago where she dumped me. So go figure...

[talaniman]

If this is the same guy you slapped out of anger, he is probably tired of your up and down mood swings, and abusive temper. Haven't you worked that out yet?

[saraispiel19]

tαl just put the missing pieces together--- no wonder he's not αnswering!

Well sαmeoldsituαtion: I'm the type of person thαt when your αnnoying me αnd I'm getting tired of you I'll hαng up, wαlk αwαy... I don't cαll bαck, text bαck or come bαck... I guess I'm just α jerk like thαt but I'm glαd there αre αctuαl 'nice guys' out there..

[mckenzie134]

Yes you're the one who slapped him.

Why don't you realise the reason he is treating you like this is cause you are allowing it to happen!

The reason he is so up and down as you say is brecause you are allowing this too happen!!

That is correct the reason this relationship is the way it is, is because you are makingit like this! WAY to clingy.

You say sometimes he says heis missing you wants to see you andloves you well yeah he says this because he may be feeling like that but I bet then next time whenhe says nothing youconstanly get on his back!

STOP doing all this and step back only talk to him evry third day. Make him miss you for a bit let him realise he has a great girl and your OK on your own the less contact you have with him the more he will try and contact you I can tell this for sure..

Why don't you just turn your phone of for a couple of days and I bet hwhen you turn it back on his sent a few messages wondering where yourve gone. Show him you have a life without him and you will be fine. Don't be all over him even better get a life without him and watch how he acts towards you. If you ring him and he doesn't answer don't ring back NEVERDO THIS wait till hecalls you back all the time...

[laura hamilton]

I don't think any of you can really comment on me as you don't know me.
For starters we have been together three years, and I'm not the abusive one in the relationship.
He broke my arm a month ago and threw me against a wall.
I have stood by him for three years when he lost his job and became homeless I spent a year paying for everything for him, then he went and cheated and got someone else pregnant.

I slapped him because he pushed me against a wall and shouted in my face.
UIm sorry but he has already beaten before and I wasn't willing to take it again so I slapped him.

You may think that is out of order but no man should hit a woman and I certainly wasn't up for getting another bone broken!

I love him a lot and have been through hell gfor him, he cheated, lied & hit me.
And here you are saying I'm abusive when I have spent three years by his side being faithful and helping him and loving him.

Im sorry you think I am abusive!

[Tyne26]

I dont think any of you can really comment on me as you dont know me.
For starters we have been together three years, and im not the abusive one in the relationship.
He broke my arm a month ago and threw me against a wall.
I have stood by him for three years when he lost his job and became homeless I spent a year paying for everything for him, then he went and cheated and got someone else pregnant.

I slapped him because he pushed me against a wall and shouted in my face.
UIm sorry but he has already beaten before and I wasnt willing to take it again so I slapped him.

You may think that is out of order but no man should hit a woman and I certainly wasnt up for getting another bone broken!

I love him alot and have been through hell gfor him, he cheated, lied & hit me.
and here you are saying im abusive when i have spent three years by his side being faithful and helping him and loving him.

Im sorry you think I am abusive!!

If he has done these things to you stay clear of him, why contact him, do you want to be physically abused more??

[talaniman]

If he is abusng you then you must leave. Not easy but it must be done. For the record, we can only comment on what you tell us so get real with the truth and stop being defensive. That's not easy either, I know that too! But it has to be done also.

I don't like people judging me!

Not judging you, just commenting on what you wrote.

[saraispiel19]

i like to party with midgets.

Thαts hott.. I try to pαrty with dwαrfs (so much cooler)

[fix-what-you-broke]

He hits you, breaks your arm, you hit him back.he cheats and gets someone else pregnant... etc etc...

I would rather be single if that's a relationship.sorry.

So the short simple answer would be for you to leave him, its not a healthy happy relationship,
Relationships are supposed to be fun,you are supposed to be happy together and laugh and do all this fantastic stuff, not beat the crap out of each other and get other people pregnant and ignore each others calls and all the other stupid, childish, mind playing games.leave him and be happy with someone else, or stay single for a while.

[Rina _4]

While you have allowed him to abuse you, now he knows that he can get away with it. You have to decide to break off the relationship other wise this abuse will continue for years to come. He loves you? I don't think so. I think he stayed with you because you always took care of him financially.

No man loves a woman that he constantly abuses and no woman should ever have to endure any kind of abuse.