[Rory]

Ok, where do I start?
I 've been with this girl for 1 year now. She is at University in Glasgow (scotland) and is 25, while I'm a Van driver working in London (England) and I'm 26. Before going out (dating) with me she was going out a guy who was an aquantance(think its spelt right) of me and my friends, he was a student at the same University, and while there, he had developed a cocain problem, whitch she delved into also. They split up because of his drug problem and a month or so later she got with me, and that was as mush as I knew.
Six month into the relationship I found out she was lying to me, about her where abouts, what you have to remember is that we where 500 miles away at the time and we only spoke on phone, so I was lucky to have found out. She only lied about going to lectures, that's not to bad, but when I caught her out(over a radio show she counld'nt have listerned too if in a lecture) she kept denialing it, eventually she gave in and told the truth. Ok, simple enouth so far.
In my heart I felt something else was wrong, and had done for a while, all the times her phone was off in the past and her weird way of answering questions ran through my mind, and to cut a long story short, I asked her if she had lied about anything else, after threatening to end it she told me a whole load of stuff she had lied about, I was shocked and gutted, she basically had been lying through her back teeth, and had been speaking to her Ex on M.S.N. and keeping lots of information from me, for no real reason, she knew I WAS cool with her seeing her Ex and other men who are friends, so why lie? Was she cheating?
It doesn't end there, I forgave her for lying and we stayed together, but recently something very concerning has happened. I found out that these male "friends" in scotland had been past lovers, one of whitch she cheated on her Ex with, After he had cheated on her? Confusing I know, And there was whole lotta stuff she "forgot" to mention about these guys and what she had been doing before going out with me, she had told me long before that she didn't sleep with any one else between her Ex and me, well nothing could be farther from the truth. Use your imagination on that one.
I also found out she had been taking Extacy pills in excess and not telling me.
Now there's this bi-sexual guy she is always with while in scotland, he's the one who is plying her with drugs, And she told me her self that he regulary has 3 somes with men and women, he's a swinger, I don't have a problem with that, BUT I do have a problem with her taking Extacy with him, sleeping round his house( with others) and lying to me about it. She says he's just gay and that she is save with him, but I see a wolf in sheeps clothing.
She is back in London for the summer, and so won't see him for a while.
Any advice would be nice, Im sure she has cheated but I can't prove it!
If you have any more questions about this just ask,as I've left out a lot of details.
How could I prove it? Or this Prove it?
Please help!

[pluckyflamingo]

You don't need to prove it. Once a cheater always a cheater. If you have to ask yourself if she is cheating on you then don't bother. Find someone who can be a civilized grown women who does not have a drug problem and someone who can keep her legs closed.

[clarityseeker]

This girl has shown tremendous disrespect to you and to your relationship. She lied to you about important stuff several times, and she obviously needs a lot of male attention outside the relationship. Sounds like she's got serious issues that are only going to cause you more confusion and fear further down the line. By making you constantly wonder with this lying-confession pattern, she's got emotional control over you. Not good dude. Easier said than done because of the emotions, but I'd think about getting out of this relationship for your own mental well-being.

[Makiavelic76]

Yes, there's too much baggage on your back with this gal, if you are mental and emotional healthy guy you should appreciate that, and take this bull by the horns and walk away. People who are using drugs and are around people that uses all the time develop a constant denial complex, because they have to lie about everything concerning his/her consumption to themselves and to others.
Sometimes the best way to help someone with this problem is walking away.
Think and value yourself first.

Bless you

[talaniman]

She uses drugs, cheats, lies and who knows what else. If you like misery she is the one for you, if you want love, honesty, and respect run from her right now.

[Rockabilly1955mama]

The other users have giving you the best advice. What you seem to want, will not come from her.

It's time to get out of that relationship.

[Stunning07]

Sometimes when you have a strong gut feeling, and you know something's wrong, it should be time to pull out, before getting more hurt, its okay to listen to your intuition at times..

[Tyne26]

Chuck her before she does this to you, seriously, you will always wonder what she is up to. Girls who keep in contact with all their exes doesn't make sense to me at all. Sounds as if she needs the attention, you will always be questioning her and when you solve one problem another will pop up trust me, I've been there it isn't nice. Show you are strong and walk away, stand up for ypu don't let her walk over you with all her cover up stories.

[katrina27]

Ok, where do I start?
I 've been with this girl for 1 year now. She is at University in Glasgow (scotland) and is 25, while im a Van driver working in London (England) and im 26. Before going out (dating) with with me she was going out a guy who was an aquantance(think its spelt right) of me and my friends, he was a student at the same University, and while there, he had developed a cocain problem, whitch she delved into also. They split up becouse of his drug problem and a month or so later she got with me, and that was as mush as I knew.
Six month into the relationship I found out she was lying to me, about her where abouts, what you have to remember is that we where 500 miles away at the time and we only spoke on phone, so I was lucky to have found out. She only lied about going to lectures, thats not to bad, but when I caught her out(over a radio show she counld'nt have listerned too if in a lecture) she kept denialing it, eventually she gave in and told the truth. Ok, simple enouth so far.
In my heart I felt something else was wrong, and had done for a while, all the times her phone was off in the past and her weird way of answering questions ran through my mind, and to cut a long story short, I asked her if she had lied about anything else, after threatening to end it she told me a whole load of stuff she had lied about, I was shocked and gutted, she basically had been lying through her back teeth, and had been speaking to her Ex on M.S.N. and keeping lots of information from me, for no real reason, she knew I WAS cool with her seeing her Ex and other men who are friends, so why lie? was she cheating?
It doesnt end there, I forgave her for lying and we stayed together, but recently something very concerning has happened. I found out that these male "friends" in scotland had been past lovers, one of whitch she cheated on her Ex with, After he had cheated on her? confusing I know, And there was whole lotta stuff she "forgot" to mention about these guys and what she had been doing before going out with me, she had told me long before that she didnt sleep with any one else between her Ex and me, well nothing could be farther from the truth. use your imagination on that one.
I also found out she had been taking Extacy pills in excess and not telling me.
Now theres this bi-sexual guy she is always with while in scotland, he's the one who is plying her with drugs, And she told me her self that he regulary has 3 somes with men and women, he's a swinger, I dont have a problem with that, BUT I do have a problem with her taking Extacy with him, sleeping round his house( with others) and lying to me about it. she says he's just gay and that she is save with him, but I see a wolf in sheeps clothing.
She is back in London for the summer, and so wont see him for a while.
Any advice would be nice, Im sure she has cheated but I can't proove it!
if you have any more questions about this just ask,as i've left out a lot of details.
How could I proove it? or dis Proove it?
please help!

OK.
Just because she has a wild past, doesn't mean she has cheated.
She reminds me a bit of myself before I married. I was into coke and all sorts. I was the ultimate party girl. I would make up stupid lies, and sleep around. I was single though.
Basically I owned up to my past when I met my husband. Of course some things I wanted to forget. Its hard.
My best advice to you is if you love her and are in a position to, move to scotland. Help her if you love her. She may need you more than you know...

[katrina27]

Also, if my husband went off rails, and got into drug scene. I would do everything to help him before I walked away. And that means living together and helping etc.
I'm from dublin. After I got wed, my husband moved us to the west of ireland, away fromn all the . He helped save my life