[Lowtax4eva]

Just wondering if anyone has any tips on what to say in a card/email to a friend who just lost his dad (were both in our 20's). I'm thinking like "were here if you want to talk or need anything" but anything else? I've never written anything like this before

I would call but I have no idea where he might be, his parents are separated and he lived with his dad and I don't have his moms home number and he doesn't have a cell.

[LadyB]

I suggest a statement of condolence "I am so sorry for your loss", some kind of memorial statement "your dad always made me laugh" or "I know he was such a great dad to you" or whatever is appropriate, then a commitment to help in whatever way you can "Please call me day or night on my cell phone if you need to talk" .

Simple but sincere is always best in these situations.

[Clough]

In addition to the good answer above, I would like to add the following.

You say what you want to from your heart. It is the chance to say it for the event that has happened. The event is unique. You will not get the chance or opportunity for this particular event again. So, it's best not to let these opportunities pass you by.

Other people who you know will pass from this earth. Each time that it happens it is a unique event because it is about a different person.

No matter what you write or say will be inappropriate if you write from your heart and show that you care. It will show that you care and that you are there for the person left behind if they need you.

By the way, I wouldn't send anything in an email, unless the person that you are expressing your condolences to is very far away and would have difficulty receiving regular mail. A personal, hand-written note is always the way to go. It will be less likely to get lost and would make a great memento in a book of memories about the person who has died.

If you have any shared religious beliefs, then I would also share that in your message.

[Tootruetooblue]

Send a card or hand-written letter (not typed) not an email. What you have come up with so far is good. Just add to it. I often include in such letters a statement such as, "I hope you will find peace in the good memories you have of your time with your father".

What is really important is not to start avoiding your friend. A lot of times, people who have lost a close family member are given so much "space" they end up without a support system at all. Invite him over, plan to go to a movie, or whatever. When you see him, don't be afraid to talk about the matter. "How are you doing? This must be really hard for you."