[shimmerforyou]

Hi,
I have been involved with a man for a year now and we both love each other very much. We live together also.He is in Arizona, me Ontario Canada. I was born oct 3/61. He was born Jan 18/61. 2 months ago his best friend was dying of cancer and he left to go to friends side. The friend passed away about 3 weeks later. His children also live in Arizona. (boy20,girl16). My name is Sue and boyfriends name is Tony. Tony wants to come back here to Ontario to live with me, But the son is having financial difficulties right now and Tony says it is his duty as a father to stay a while longer and help him out. Both of us do not want to live without each other. Do you see that he will be home soon, if so what month... and will his children be OK? Anything will help.
He is a wonderful father, but I think he is taking this situation with son too seriously. Will we be back together as a couple soon?

Thanks,
Shimmerforyou

[ranieri]

Well 1st the death. Has taken its toll and will take some time to feel himself again. It has changed him for now and how he is looking at the world. Why didn't you go with if this is such an important relatioship to you both? I think, how do I say this with out it sounding bad but, I think you are being selfish if you expect him to come back so quickly after such a traumatizing blow and his son needs him now. And he's really taking this to heart in light of the friend(very special) that just passed. His priorities have changed not that it doesn't include you but he has a lot of serious stuff to take care of and that take presidence(?) over rushing back to a relationship that should be fine and holding its own while he is away. You have work to do on the inside that you need to work on while he is away and that is what you need to focus on while he is gone... not when will he be crashing back into my arms again. Be of support to him. This time away is because you two would not take the time apart otherwise to grow. Sometimes god looks down and says you two should be all the way over here and for some reason you are stuck back there. You won't take the time apart once in awhile to make time for yourself so I will make you take the time, especially because you think this is a important relationship. Remember to let the winds of change dance between you while also keeping you together. Everybody needs their own space from time to time. To do those things that are special to the growth of your soul. Peac ranieri

[ranieri]

One more thing that keeps bugging me as I walked away from the computer. You might end up moving to Arizona have you ever considered this. Or somewhere near by so he can be closer to son and family. This ends up being very fulfilling for you. Peace ranieri