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lost?? · May 16, 2007, 12:37 PM

I was just wondering if fighting is good sometimes in a relationship. Me and my girlfriend were having problems recently and this past weekend we were at a party and she wanted to leave so I walked her to her car and we started fighting and she ended up leaving. She called me while she was on her way home and continued to fight. I'm usually a pretty calm guy and easy going but a lot of stuff had been building up and I just unloaded on her. All the other times we fought id just be like OK and shed say she wish I fought back. This time I went completely nuts on her and was screamin at her and didn't hold back like I usually do. She might have gotten 4 words in and the rest was all me. She has this "i do what i want" attitude and I told her she needs to grow the hell up and realize that she's not always going to get her own way. Even while yelling at her I knew I was going about it wrong but it felt really good to get it all out and I just kept going until I had nothing left. And you know what... she came back to the party and said that SHE was sorry. After that she's been so nice and goes along with things she typically wouldn't do before. I know I didn't handle the whole thing in the right way, but is fighting and getting everything out healthy for a relationship once in a while?

qpzm10 · May 17, 2007, 08:58 AM

I have experience in the same problem. I think that fighting in a relationship keeps it going, because if you don't fight back then you never resolve the problem. And sometimes one may try to start a fight if the relationship is getting boring. Like my girlfriend we fight sometimes, but when we fight its kindof just me telling her how I feel and stuff. And her only responses are like, "okay" "oh" "sorry" or "i love you" and it drives me crazy, because then the problem is still not solved its just all leaning on me to solve it and when two peoople are togethor the problems are for both of u to resolve. So maybe next time u argue just say how u feel about the problem, good luck!

crJgirl · May 17, 2007, 09:41 AM

I definitely agree.. fighting is necessary.. my boyfriend and I fight about the dumbest sh*t.. sometimes at the end of the fight-we laugh cause we have no idea what we were fighting about.. its def. normal to fight--it makes the relationship stronger.. and when your fighting you realize how much you want that person in your life (after you hate them for a little while and want to cuss them out) :)

talaniman · May 19, 2007, 07:32 PM

That's great, but I take it neither relationship is committed, or has kids, so I guess whatever turns your crank, but get married and have kids would fighting be the way you communicate and raise them. You may get off that way now, but will it last in the long run? Don't get me wrong, I just think that fighting can lead to some real problems, and is no substitute for communication. But to each his own.

AW805 · May 19, 2007, 09:05 PM

Of course people argue but eventually in a relationship you learn to communicate. If your holding everything in and just blasting it all out in one grenade - then there are going to be major problems down the road. Instead, when you feel an argument coming on express yourself calmly and let her know how you feel. Life will be sooo much easier.

mckenzie134 · May 20, 2007, 01:32 AM

Fighting is no goo for a relationship, plenty of people think it makes you stronger!! Bull it only makes one person feel like they are losing the other so the think they love them more!! Most relationships which involve people in early 20s who fight and argue bt saybut i just love him or her normally end in dvorce...