[mysonneil]

Hi Everyone!
My 15 yr old son admitted to going with his 20 yr old friend to a neighbors home and watch him break in. Nothing was stolen. They have been friends since they were young. My son admitted it was dumb and we left it at that. A few days later, police came to our home looking for a gun! They found some things his older friend had given him, and my son told them he remembered seeing some guns in his older friends bedroom. They found it when they went over there, with only the older boys prints on it. They released my son to me after they had picked him up from school without me knowing, and put him on house arrest for now they said because they knew my son was involved in all this! My son told them he already told them what he knew, and we asked to talk to an attorney. A few weeks later we get court papers saying my son is charged with 8 counts of burglary and 1 count of armed burglary! OH MY GOD! Can anyone please help us! I am white, my son is Hispanic, we live in an almost all white community out in the country that has always made it very clear that they did not want us here... I am worried about this in particular, with everything happening in this country right now... I have never been in trouble before either, a few speeding tickets and some domestic abuse from former husband beating me, but this is a witch hunt! They profiled my son even before they had any evidence, believing this older boy, whom they probably scared half to death and gave a lesser sentence to, he is disabled mentally to top all this off! Why are they treating my sons first offense so strangely, it doesn't make sense! Thanks to anyone who can help!:eek:

[Fr_Chuck]

First when the police came to your house, you don't let them in, and you don't talk to the police without an attorney,

He gave them the evidence, he gave them statements, You need a very very good attorney at this pontand time, this is very serious. Hopefully they just want to make a deal with him so they charged more than they want to make a deal,

I would say that they are going by evidence and statements, they can not convict on just the testomony of a co defendant they will have to have other evidence, but from now on, don't talk to them, don't let them come in, get an attorney

[mysonneil]

Thanks for trying to help, Fr.Chuck!
I know better than to make things worse for my son by saying things I really am not sure about myself. We haven't talked about this to anyone in the legal field since then, my ex husband is trying to find a good attorney, and I think that's just what they don't want. I already tried to release the appointed one by the state, and they seemed angry that I was trying to do that! It was very strange indeed. I have a friend who was in a lot of trouble when he was younger, and he straightened himself out and is now a supervisor! and he said he knows all about how awful this county I live in is, and he really thinks I should go to a news station in a big city nearby because he has never heard of such weird treatment himself for a kids first offense! We believe that they probably offered the other kid a lesser sentence if he named others, I've read of this happening to other innocent people in this country, and they go to jail, they find out they were never involved, let some go without even a "sorry"! This country has got to wake up before its too late. Not everyone is out to get them! Especially a 15 yr old boy... The small towns are getting terrified that the big city lifestyle will catch up to them! The young people are rebelling, cannot blame them when they are getting treated so poorly by adults who do not care what happens to them anymore...

[wynelle]

Father Chuck gave you some really good advice.

Let me add that you aren't helping your son's case by blaming the county and the "older kid." The fact is, your son did go with the older boy, did watch him break in and steal things.

I don't know about your county, but in my county, that makes your son guilty of the same thing the "older kid" is guilty of. And if the guns were used to kill someone, then your son could also be tried for Felony Manslaughter.

AND... you knew about it and didn't turn in the older kid. So if anything had happened, they could arrest you as well. It would only be a threatening tactic, but if you knew they had broken into this house and stolen things, then you should have spoken up, not waited for them to come arrest your child.

I don't too many public defenders who would object to you paying for an attorney. They lose money when they have to take of "free" cases because the county usually only pays a minimal amount.

But get an attorney. And also make sure that you can't be arrested for Knowledge After the Fact.

[J_9]

We all like to think that our children are perfect, our children are angels, and our children cannot get into trouble, and we tend to blame others for our children getting into trouble. However, I for one, do believe that my children get into trouble, mine are not perfect, and no one is to blame for my children's mistakes except my children.

I totally have to agree with the answers you have above. You are blaming everyone but your son. He was there, he admitted it. You need to stop this "profiling" BS and start being a parent.

Stop blaming everyone else for your child's mistakes. Your child made them now it is time for him to deal with the consequences to his actions.

[ballengerb1]

Mom, you must face the fact that your son was in possession of stolen property and he full well knew it. He also participated in breaking and entering even if he didn't raise a hand. By your story he is guilty of several crimes so the best attorney you can buy is in order. Did you discipline him for his conduct, I sure hope so.

[mysonneil]

Okay... someone is missing the points here totally...
My son is only 15 yrs old and has NEVER been in trouble before this 20 yr old whom I thought was only 17 talked him into going with him, and my son admitted THAT One home is the only one, then the police are trying to accuse both boys of ALL burglaries that have occurred over the entire winter, our home was broken into also, and most of these places are too far away, AND my son was inside all winter being punished, so he couldn't have done all those other things they claim. People are too easily led to blame without all the facts, and this is what's wrong with this country! My son was never found to have any gun in his room, it was found in the older boys room, and the other boy tried to say that my son had it! The older boy and his brothers have always been in trouble and the entire community knows this as a fact, and the items they found in my sons room are things he accepted from his friend NOT knowing they had previously been stolen, so how in the heck does anyone assume that makes my son guilty of anything... its ridiculous to also assume that I as a mom could have possibly have known about any of this, let alone be ignorant enough to only help my son because he is my son, if I thought for one minute that my son ever did any of these things... I'd be the first to turn him into counseling, not just want to throw him away, he is still just a boy, and has never been around any criminals his entire life, we live way out in the country! I think that America has gotten way out of hand, and are scared of their own shadows now, all because of a bunch of idiots running our country, to want to start thinking that everyone is out to get them, even children! I understood that if the kids had a gun, the police wouldn't want them to get hurt with it, but if you would have seen how they treated a family they did not know, you would have thought it was a witch hunt too...

[wynelle]

Mom- the only one missing the point is you.

You admitted that your son confessed that he was with his friend, and his friend broke into a home and stole property. And you admitted that you didn't do a thing about it when he told you.

That alone for your son constitutes breaking and entering, which where I live, is still against the law--even if he is only 15 years old. Fifteen is plenty old enough to know right from wrong.

Second-- I believe just from what you wrote that your son obviously knows his friend has broken into other homes. Which would lead to the next obvious- your son knew some of the "stuff" must have been stolen.

So stop with the paranoid over-defensive "picking on my son" attitude.

Your son broke the law---and you can only hope it was just that one time. Clearly the police think it was more often. Get your son an attorney, and get him into therapy. Get yourself into therapy, too.

[Fr_Chuck]

The advice of blaming the county is not going to help in court, in fact it will hurt esp if you can't prove anything, so while I understand, and some older boy was the cause, the fact he is made some poor choices, and the few good things, is that first he is only 15, still a minor, and that they only have good evidence and confession of the one crime ( which is bad enough) But if you believe he is not getting a fair hearing, ask for a change of venue, even one county over

So if he is willing to deal and give up everything on the other people, he has a good chance if they are willilng to deal.

[mysonneil]

Please Don't get me wrong,
I really appreciate everyone's advice. I am just so scared, and my son swears he didn't know any of the things the boy gave him were stolen. I believe the boy was giving those things to my son to hide them out at our home, so he wouldn't get caught with them. It isn't like my son is hanging around a bunch of city thugs, way far from it. We live out in the country, and there really isn't much happening around here, the only bad thing a kid has done so far in our school district is try to threaten a boy with a knife once at the high school, the only really bad things are just staring by us, it is very rare here. The occasional skipping out is really all we have so far. Thank goodness. So that is why all of this just isn't making any sense to me, WHY are the police making such a big deal out of all this, when it is my son who told them about this other boy. WHY would the police believe a boy who is much older and has been in a lot of trouble before with his brothers, and why would they think a 15 yr old who is scared to death himself of getting into trouble really would? He told them it was stupid to go into the yard with the older boy, why don't they listen that my son is sorry. Do they really want to charge two boys with all the crimes in the area because they are too lazy to find the real ones who did this. I am not in denial, my son was never out of the house before the incident with the older boy. He could not have done the other homes with him, this is what perplexes me as to why they are only going on what a previous troublemaker has said... and I think I know who really has done these crimes... My daughter and I during the winter months noticed two different men wearing black hats (we wrote this off as because it was winter no big deal there) that had been driving very slowly past neighbors home, our home, and more than a few times. We thought maybe they were lost, everyone gets lost in this area even when they've been here several times. If I saw pics of these men, I could definitely identify them. When we mentioned this to police, they shrugged this off, and even when we showed them how our own home was broken into also, they didn't even listen..! They laughed! Our windows still have the proof, our shed has broken panels, and we thought someone else did it at the time. I used to work with street people, I usually can tell if someone is lying, and as a mother I tried everything to get my son to tell me the truth if he wasn't, and he hasn't broke down like he usually would if he was wrong about something. It just seems that people give up on these kids too soon... I cannot afford an attorney, I am waiting on my disablity myself right now, and cannot seem to find an attorney who will take a case in this county, because this is considered the poorest county around, no one wants to... I will be at the mercy of a court who could care less, when my son was raped by a neighbor when he was only 6, this court let his rapist go, even after the rapist said he did it, & because the rapist was only 12, (he was almost 6ft tall & white, and babysat for other kids) even though my daughter was a witness, and there was a tape. So if anyone keeps telling me this isn't racial, well, I think my son was a better boy to tell on him even after that older boy threatened his life! My son would not lie even then, what makes me think he would lie now...

[J_9]

Bear with me as I break down your post so that you may see what is happening.

my son swears he didnt know any of the things the boy gave him were stolen.

Don't most 15 year olds hold back the truth so that they do not get into trouble? Hmmm, mine did.

I believe the boy was giving those things to my son to hide them out at our home, so he wouldnt get caught with them.

You believe... but you do not know this for a fact, of course your son will lie to keep out of trouble. Especially if you, mom, don't question him.

[quote=mysonneil It isnt like my son is hanging around a bunch of city thugs, way far from it. We live out in the country, and there really isnt much happening around here, [/quote]

EXACTLY!! I live in the country too, you know this happens more than you realize in the country because the children are bored!!

The occasional skipping out is really all we have so far.

As far as you know. Many things that happen at school are kept private, between principal and school board.

WHY are the police making such a big deal out of all this, when it is my son who told them about this other boy.

Because the stolen property was found in your house, that is why. They just don't take the word of a 15 year old when they found the "goods" in your house.

why dont they listen that my son is sorry.

Sorry doesn't cut it when you break the law. B&E is breaking the law, whether he was the one doing the actual breaking in or was there when it was done. There have to be consequences to actions.

Do they really want to charge two boys with all the crimes in the area because they are too lazy to find the real ones who did this.

What? They did find the ones who did this unless the stolen goods magically appeared in your home.

I think I know who really has done these crimes....

Hun, you THINK you know, but they are the ones who are TRAINED to know.

My daughter and I during the winter months noticed two diffrent men wearing black hats (we wrote this off as because it was winter no big deal there) that had been driving very slowly past neighbors home, our home, and more than a few times. We thought maybe they were lost, everyone gets lost in this area even when they've been here several times.

Do you have a license plate number? If not, it probably will hold little water in court. I know in my area of the country (I live in the boonies too), whenever people get "lost" or there is suspicious activity I always get a plate number just in case something like this does come up.

If I saw pics of these men, I could definately identify them.

Then march down to the local precinct and demand to see any mug shots they may have.

we showed them how our own home was broken into also, they didnt even listen.....!!! They laughed !! Our windows still have the proof, our shed has broken panels, and we thought someone else did it at the time.

Did you file a police report when you discovered this? If not, you cannot prove that this actually happened. Without a police report it sounds like an excuse to them.


You see, we are not convicting your son here, but just trying to show you how all of the evidence points to him. We can make all the excuses for our children that we want, however, the proof is in the pudding, and the pudding was found in your house.

Your son may be innocent, but everything that was found makes him look guilty as charged. You need to find a very good attorney who can pick this case apart.

[mysonneil]

P.S. How can anyone assume I knew anything about this! And nothing was stolen from the first place my son admitted to... no one knew until I got court papers about the other homes... people are too ready to judge others before all the facts... sometimes I wonder why we even trust having juries... it seems to me, no one is able minded to take on such a task... Are we all so afraid now of everything that the simplest way to deal with it all is to just lock everyone up? If more people truly cared about others instead of only trying to protect their belongings, maybe our children wouldn't resent us so much and get into these more serious crimes... not many are listening to their pleas for help, we only see them as juveniles, not someone's child... all too ready to put it aside, saying, its not my kid, why should we care... all the kids I've seen on this MySpace when I look at my child's profile to make sure she isn't talking to any peds, all say the same thing... either they feel like they want to die, they get drunk to take away the pain... who is listening to their children... NO ONE as far as I can tell when I read what I see with my heart... the children of our nation feel desserted by their own parents... this is all I am seeing, & the depression! Why are our children so depressed? They have all of their lives ahead of them... What is going on here that no one is paying much attention to?? I am a stay home mom who took care of an elderly Korean disabled vet for ten yrs until he recently passed away. I was very fortunate to be able to be with & see my children grow up. This problem I saw had me utterly crying when I read what some of these children had on this site. Every other word is a swear word, every pore is crying out for help. It was the most heart wreatching thing I've ever seen... you should try it some time... it might wake all the parents up... not just me...

[mysonneil]

Thank you for your insight, I know you are trying to open my eyes a bit more, but believe me, I have wracked my brain trying to find out the truth and to see if I WAS missing anything. My son is totally comfortable with all the video components he had, and also he is very good at fixing them, he wasn't too bored, he just doesn't have any friends in this area, cause no white kids want to hang around a spanish kid. There is an all arian group of kids at his school who always beat him up, and the school won't do anything but give them tickets. This is at least what they told me they did after I'd wanted to press full charges against this group and they wouldn't. (My son has a knee injury from it) It is the weirdest thing I've ever seen... They actually got angry with me when I wanted to charge these boys fully, and then the boys did it again! This county actually thinks they are above the real law here, and burned a black families home down when they tried to stay in this area. This hopefully gives you some insite into what I am dealing with over here...

[mysonneil]

Also thanks for the mug shot info, I already thought of that, just think they are going to not take it seriously enough, like you said, I didn't get a license number like an idiot, just thought they were lost in the neighborhood. I will do that though, don't really care much if they laugh at me, but what if I AM wrong, I guess its better than not trying to find out at all... and just because my son received something from someone else doesn't automatically mean he knew where those things came from, that's like me asking you to borrow a cup of sugar, and finding out it is artificial sweetner..

[s_cianci]

Thanks for trying to help, Fr.Chuck!
I've read of this happening to other innocent people in this countryThis country has got to wake up before its too late. Not everyone is out to get them! Especially a 15 yr old boy..............The small towns are getting terrified that the big city lifestyle will catch up to them! The young people are rebelling, cannot blame them when they are getting treated so poorly by adults who do not care what happens to them anymore.........

Unfortunately your son isn't "innocent." Standing by while an accomplice breaks into a house makes him an accessory to a felony. Perhaps some of the charges against him are a bit exaggerated ; it depends on how much concrete evidence the police actually have. But he has to be held responsible for his part in whatever happened. Don't enable him by pretending that he did nothing wrong. That's what really wrong with this country ; we make excuses for "rebellious young people who are getting treated so poorly by adults who do not care what happens to them anymore" rather than holding them accountable.

[babydestinysmommy]

I am 26 and a mother to a beautiful little girl. I understand that your maternal instincts make you want to shelter your child and protect him at any costs. What you have to understand is that even though only 15 your son is still needs to be held acountable for his actions. He had the choice to go home the nights those places were broke in to. He could have walked away at any point. Although the punishment seems a little harsh it might prevent future episodes and steer him clear of bad choices in the future. If it wasn't it might not deter him from doing it again at a later time. Obviously he is around bad people.. guns... and more than likey some sort of drugs. He got caught doing this but I can almost assure you that there is A lot of other things he has done or been around that you will never know about. Things he just never got caught doing.They all go hand in hand. No offense but you blaming society is doing nothing more than giving him something to pawn his actions off on and is a very bad example to set to a 15 year old. I have been where your son is and it took me going to a teen detention center and then a group home to get me straight. My Mom was the same way. It wasn't my fault it was the other kids or the police where just picking on me. Get on the ball and if you truly love him.. which I am sure you do. Do not become an enabler for what his is doing. Be there and love him but don't be his crutch. The road he is going down is only going to get worse if you don't set up your detour now.

[mysonneil]

Thanks everyone...
My son only went with him to that one house, and nothing was stolen. When they went over to arrest the older boy, because he is 20 yrs old! THEN two days later they came over to look for a gun the OTHER boy claimed my son had, AND they found the gun in the OTHER boys ROOM, NOT MY SONS. I would never stick up for my son if I thought he did this, and I would certainly want him to get help if he did. What I fail to understand is the WHY of the other boy trying to say my son was involved in any other burglaries, especially when I know for a fact that my son was never out of this house all winter, and During Easter when he was at his fathers visiting far away and couldn't have possibly done this. Instead of trying to ask me if this could have happened, the police took the word of an older boy who has been in so much trouble before that the communtiy services know his name. It still doesn't make sense. They came to my home like it was a huge terrorist search! And the way they treated us didn't make sense either. No one in this home has ever been in trouble before, only a domestic thing on one New Yrs! Its not like we live around a city either, we live as far away from any bad influences as possible, and that's why I've tried to live here, I thought this place would be better for my children. How wrong I was, its been nothing but hell here, trying to be accepted by an all white community. I am white, my children are Spanish, not Mexican. Their grandfather came from Spain. These people have let THEIR kids harrass mine, call them names, beat them up, etc. I became disabled, and unable to move because of it. I've stuck this out, and just now, after I threaten to take this school to a civil rights court, then this happens to us... does anyone get the picture totally now?.

[babydestinysmommy]

Small towns are becoming infested with big city problems. I feel for you and what you are going through. I still stick with what I say about crime and punishment though especially since a gun was involved. I don't necessarily like law enforcement but you have to understand when there is a complaint or problem they react. I have never seen the polive walk up to a complaint calm curtious and poised. That is just not what they do. Is it possible for your son to go live with his father for a short time until things cool down...

[mysonneil]

Thanks... but really not even a chance... my sons father became an alcoholic when his brother in law lost his fathers construction company they had together. He abused me after that and I've been divorced for 10 yrs or so now with full physical custody because he took a baseball bat to me in a drunken rage. He moved back up here by us, and a lot of this has to do with my sons confused behavior too lately on top of all the other kids always calling him "camel boy" at school now for a nickname because of all this terrorist stuff. So I could totally understand why the police might be worried if the other boy said my son had a gun. At first I was like Oh My God, I sure hope my son really wouldn't try to get even with some kids at school, with hearing about all these kids on t.v. going ballistic on others who torment them lately, and was I afraid it could be true when they first came to the house, but then again my son just would tell me when they did and I would talk to him about how all that stuff happens to most of us when we are younger, kids are cruel at this age, and how I went through similar things growing up, and it helps a lot. We talk a lot, and he is scared right now, but tells me not to worry, he'll be okay because he is in the right and they are wrong. He just says Mom Don't get all worked up over Me, it'll be all right. He really doesn't sound like a boy who could do these things at all... and I know he is too young to understand just what they are trying to accuse him of... he really thinks that if they listen to him everything will be okay... I know better... I wonder what the police said to the other boy to make him say those things, and I'm not really sure he even did. The older boy is mentally disabled... it just keeps getting more weird... thanks again for your support, it is good to hear from at least one person who sees from both sides. I will just have to calm down, take a big breath, and hope they will do the right thing for my son, not what I suspect they will in their ignorance as humans can be sometimes blindly... I think the best thing my own father ever did was to put a book into my hands at the age of 3 and said " This is the only thing you will ever need, dont ever forget" !

[froggy7]

Two comments:

Why did the older boy say that your son was with him when you know he wasn't? Why not. It helps spread the blame around. And, to be honest, do you KNOW that your son was home at the time? I've heard too many stories about kids sneaking out windows, etc. and parents never knowing.

But it doesn't really matter. They have your son for breaking and entering, probably with an intent to steal. And with possession of stolen property. You can complain all you want about society and cops picking on people, but he is, in his own words, guilty of those two crimes. The law considers the person posted as the lookout (which is what your son's role was most likely going to be in the crime) or driving the get-away car just as guilty as the robber inside the building. Get that into your head, stop making excuses for him, and start taking a harder look at his behavior. You knew that he was hanging around with a kid from a family that had a lot of negative encounters with the police, and you did nothing about it? You should have been expecting something like this to happen.