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proud Daddy · May 14, 2007, 01:45 PM

Hello,
I'm a father living in Florida with my soon to be wife and her 2 children (11& 7). We have been together for 4 years. Our lives are very structured, stable, and the kids get mostly all A's in school.
I have 2 girls (16 & 13) in Colorado with there mom, and my 13yr old (kerri) has told me for a couple month now that she would really love to live with us. My wife Theresa and I have discussed this and agreed it would be a good move for her because of her failing grades in the past year. I know her mom won't agree to this, but I will proceed through the court as needed.
Here's the "strange" question. A friend and his wife had some recent custody issues and told me based on his recent experience, that what I could do is fly Kerri here to Tampa from Colorado, then when her mom puts her on the plane, and she arrives here, I should then file for temporary custody of Kerri (while continuing to pay any support due). By doing this he believed it would now require her to challenge me under Florida law. That she or her representative would have to be here , or at least dispute this custody claim here.
In my friends case custody support division said to him, "DID YOU PUT YOUR SON ON THE PLANE TO SEND HIM TO YOUR EX-WIFE IN NC.?" He said " YES, FOR SPRING BREAK. BUT SHE'S NOT SENDING HIM BACK." They replied" SORRY, NOTHING WE CAN DO FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE TO SEND HIM TO HER." I'm not sure how to validate these facts.
ANY input would be very appreciated.
Thanks

tawnynkids · May 14, 2007, 02:05 PM

No your friend is incorrect. If you have a court order which specifies custody and visitation and she puts her on a plane to you for your parenting time you will have to send her back on the plane at the end of your specified parenting time. Or you could be found in contempt for denying her parenting time and disobeying the court order without "good cause" (bad grades and the child's desire isn't considered good cause). Not to mention any other possible charges as you would then have no proof that she is supposed to be with you.

You will have to file for a modification of your current order where ever it was originally done. That court would be the Court of Jurisdiction. You would have to petition to have jurisdiction changed before you could file some where else. But you won't likely be able to do that as the court of jurisdiction is usually the court in which is in the residence of the children.

I am just wondering... if your daughter is failing at her current school, rather than attempt to simply take custody why don't you try to work with her mother on improving the grades? Find out why she may be getting the bad grades in the first place? Maybe you tried already I don't know. I would just hate to think you are one of those dads who says "oh something is wrong out there, well it must be bad parenting on moms part I will just take the kids away, that will solve the problem". I am not saying you are mind you, please know that. Just posing some questions for thought.

And in case you were wondering, there is no age in which a child can decide where they want to live. Different states have different designated ages (usually between 12 -15) in which a judge will consider the wishes and testimony of a child, but that will not be the sole deciding factor.

proud Daddy · May 14, 2007, 02:28 PM

Thank you for your insight. I'm not looking for excuses to justify. I've heard a lot of things about the way they live, dirty (dog pee saturated carpets) making the girls buy there own school clothes, and shoes,and many other things like this. Stacie(16yr old) has chosen not to come here only so she can finish out school there.. I have no problem with that, but Kerri loved being out here in our way of life, we do a lot of activities with boyscout, and masons. We have a strong family structure and Kerri really enjoyed it. Hearing about issues and problems from the girl is always taken with a grain of salt, But when both girls complain about the same problem, compounded with growing atitudes, and very poor grade ARE reasons for concern. When I try to talk to the mom, I was told it's not my concern, or she won't even come to the phone. I don't know what to do about when no one listens.

Thanks

tawnynkids · May 14, 2007, 02:33 PM

Those situations are really tough. And unfair. It is really nice to see such a caring dad on here, well anywhere for that matter.

You certainly would be within your rights to file for a modification reversing your current order. I sure wouldn't do it the way your friend suggested though.

Good luck with your family! I feel for you. Keep us posted.

sosmuth · Feb 2, 2011, 12:59 PM

I am in the middle of my ex trying to use our sons bad grades as a reason for him to live with he and his new wife, The problem is he has not been that interested in this until now after two years he is forced to pay child support through the state. I have received a check here and there over two years at his discretion. After losing my job last April it has been extremely difficult to maintain our home and lives. Some days I didn't have enough money to put gas in my car to get him back and forth to school! He had an income deduction order that went through in early Nov. that he told his accounting department to stop. So two months later my attorney had it reinstated. He has tried everything in the last year to get out of support. I have been pulled over by the police, investigated by department of children and families and now he is pressuring my son into living with him. I am trying to ignore him but now he is writing letters to my parents saying that it is in our son's best interest to live with him to get his grades up. He will try anything I swear!