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Delilah P · May 9, 2007, 05:21 PM

What is the advantage of being legally separated while filing for divorce? Common sense tells me that a separation PRIOR to a divorce is to afford a couple some time to possibly reconcile before filing for divorce. But, if you went straight for a divorce, would you need to file for a separation? If you never filed for separation and went straight for filing for divorce, could you legally begin dating other people during the waiting time? To make a long question shorter.. in the eyes of the law (and someone's religion), arent't you still LEGALLY married until the divorce is final? SO, it would be as if you are cheating if you begin dating while the divorce is still going through the courts?

gogosean · May 9, 2007, 05:37 PM

Originally Posted by Delilah P

What is the advantage of being legally separated while filing for divorce? Common sense tells me that a separation PRIOR to a divorce is to afford a couple some time to possibly reconcile before filing for divorce. But, if you went straight for a divorce, would you need to file for a separation? If you never filed for separation and went straight for filing for divorce, could you legally begin dating other people during the waiting time? To make a long question shorter .. in the eyes of the law (and someones religion), arent't you still LEGALLY married until the divorce is final?? SO, it would be as if you are cheating if you begin dating while the divorce is still going through the courts?

Some jurisdictions require a separation period before divorce. Some jurisdictions will allow you to claim that you were "living seperate lives" for a certain amount of time, but you both have testify to the "seperate lives" petition. They will apply the time you spent as "seperate lives" to the time required for separation. In some jursidictions, the fact that you are dating someone else is of no concern to the court. The concept that you are trying to capture with the term "cheating" is often irrelevant to a judge.

For most of us, marriage is two contracts. One is a sacred contract, and the law often does not dip into the area of what is often described as sacred. The other contract is a secular contract, a legal contract that creates the concept of community property.

Before you go the attorney, document your relevant assets. Try and find objective proof of what was yours before you were married, and what was not yours before you were married.

If you both agree to the asset questions, your divorce will be dirt cheap.

If you are battling over a larger pool of assets, it will be expensive.

Good luck.

Delilah P · May 10, 2007, 05:06 PM

Since the couple skipped the separation and went straight for a divorce, does the divorce proceeding 'sort of' cover the legality of a separation? The man is still living with his wife during the divorce proceeding, yet dating another woman at the same time (my friend).

gogosean · May 10, 2007, 05:55 PM

At the very least, him dating another person will constitute "living seperate lives". I am not sure if your question is concerned with morality or legality. If it is concerned with morality, I will not have anything to share with you. If your friend is already filing for divorce, then the attorney should be able to answer the legal questions. The main question is, what is the preoccupation with legal separation? Do you think that a judge will care about this when it comes to dividing community property or custody? If so, ask the attorney, because your state's divorce laws are unique. Good luck.

Delilah P · May 10, 2007, 06:55 PM

No, it's not the morality issue. (In our religion it is not acceptable that they are dating while the man is still legally married.. but, that's another issue). My question here is the legal issue. My friend is the woman dating the man going through the divorce. I guess I don't know how to categorize my question. The bottomline is that the gentleman has a pattern of dating a woman before beginning divorce proceedings with the current wife. This is not the first time he has been down this path. I want my friend to see the light, or at least prolong the dating process, before it's too late.
Thanks Gogosean for your advice/opinion. I think we'll just see where this goes.