[morrist]

My girlfriend of approx 2 yrs told me she loves me but not as much as she used to. She is 18 and I am 22 for the first year things were great , we would do everything together and even talked about marriage , kids and getting a flat etc. She used to tell me I was the only lad she could be herself around. It was both our first loves and first relationship and she was a virgin when I met her. We had a really intense relationship and were together more or less night and day. I slept at her mothers house virtually every night for nearly 2 years. Towards the end of the relationship I noticed changes in her moods etc, she didn't show much affection as she once did and we would argue over silly things. She then started spending more time with friends and I broke it off. After a few days whe ended up getting back together then she was doing the same going out with friends every night after work and showing no interest in me. She told me that the relationship was too serious at the minute and that she didn't want to be pregnant at the age of 20. She said that she wanted to do what she wants when she wants and didn't want to have to worry about anyone else, she told me that she still loved me but didn't want to be with anymore and she didn't know if I was the one. She said she didn't want any boyfriend and just wanted to go out with friends. I was devastated so I decided not to contact her and maybe give her a chance to miss me and realize what she had lost. After 3 weeks of no contact she rang me out the blue saying can I pick you up and I ended up going back to her mothers. We ended up sleeping together. The next morning she told me she was confused and that she didn't want a relationship but maybe we could go out for a few drinks sometime. She said she wanted to be my friend not my girlfriend. I told her I couldn't be friends because I still had feelings. About a week after this she started dating someone she had new from school that is classed as her friend. She has new him for 5 yrs and I suppose she feels comfortable with him. I seen her in a club and she told me she didn't love me anymore. She said the relationship had lost its spark. She said that I didn't appreciate her. It has been approx 4 weeks I haven't spoke with her and somebody told me she is in love with this other person.

Could this relationship be a rebound? Is she too young and maybe wants to experience life first in other relationships? How does she know if I am the one if I am the only person she has been with? Do you think maybe just too much time together has made us take each other for granted? Why did she call me after 3 weeks of no contact if she had no feelings and didn't love me anymore?

I am wondering if she ever loved me or I was just lust because its not something you can turn off is it? I done nothing wrong to her. Personally I think she doesn't know what she wants herself and is confused. She told me she didn't want a boyfriend but now she is happy with this other person.

What do you people think

[alizeblu]

She's not ready man. Let her go. Its going to be hell on earth but I'm telling you from experience let her go.

Had a g/f for 4 years, I'm 21 she was 18, some of the things she is doing is very similar to what mine used to do. Its going to get worse.

You got to let her go before she leaves you with a broken heart for a long time.

[alizeblu]

No, when you guys 1st met, I bet she was young at the time, and you obviously were older and more mature.

She has no clue about what a relationship is right now, let her go mess up a couple time, you concentrate on you, forget about her, and don't get into a relationship with another girl right away.

Just leave her be, do you and she will relize one day, and if she comes back, you'll know what to do.

[alizeblu]

She did love you, the time you 1st met, when you used to stare into her eyes and tell her how much you love her, and her smile, turst me, it was love.

But you got to understand that you already know what you want, but her being young and dumb, she doesn't know yet.

So let her go find out for herself.

She's grown up now, she's not nieve anymore. She relizes that there's more out there and wants to experiment. So let her, if you love her you'd respect what she wants right?

So you already know what you have to do.

Go do it.

And trust me this is the last thing you want to hear right now, trust me I know, but if you keep trying thinking its going to work, its not. Its going to get worse.

You got to 2 year head start over me, leave her before its too late. You don't want to try to make it work, and let another 2 years go by of your devotion to her, everythings just going to fall apart within the next 2 years.

Why? Cause she's going to keep doing the same thing. She's going to go out, she's going to do her.

So you should be doing the same.

[shelly925]

I agree with what alizeblu said I was my husbands first true relationship and we loved each other very much. I was 18 and he was 16. Now six years and two kids later he is with another girl because he decided that he wanted to see what else was out there. We've been married for almost two years and he's decided that he wants to move on. Alizeblu is right you need to move on and worry about you if it is meant to be she will be back and it will be up to you to decide if you want to take the chance of getting hurt again and decide if you think she is truly ready to have a relationship.

[derelictmartyr]

It's time to move on bud. She's letting you go, just remember that. It hurts more because you have to be the mature one to act on it and know she's making a hasty decision but without her going out there, she won't ever get that thought out of her head. It's just how Women are wired, Men search for that one Women that does everything, Women will seek out every man that'll do that one thing they want then realize they screwed up when they left the Man that already did everything but one thing.

Not saying Men get it right the first time, but we're more willing to knead out the relationship if it ever needs some air or tending. I've yet to hear about the sensitive women in a relationship where there's no problems because if she was, you wouldn't be hearing about it.