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He was right
I am sure everyone has heard this again and again, but I am living it. My husband always said he would screw me if we ever got divorced. Well, he is trying to. He is going to try to take the house or half of it, the kids, and he wants memememem to pay for his top dollar attorney. I feel like I did when he was here: scared. Very scared. Like I want to crawl in a hole and make it all go away. I have been advised to hire an attorney. I do not have thousands of dollars to hire an attorney. Did I really get myself into all this? You know, he was verbally abusive at physically abusive at times (we are going to court for that too) and why do I feel so bad? He acts as if it did not even happen and is trying to make me look crazy. How can this be?
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I got an attorney and paid a retainer fee so he could start on my divorce. I arranged a payment plan after that. You do need legal counsel or else your husband will walk away with what he wants, because you will not have anyone protecting your rights.
If you have no income, you can contact your state's Legal Assistance (Legal Aid). They do work either for free or a sliding scale fee based on income. Many spouses use threats and intimidation and bullying techniques to scare the other spouse. Yours is no different and what he is saying is working. He has you scared and feeling helpless. That trying to make you look crazy? Another technique the bullies use. Do not let that defeat you. But contact legal counsel and start getting your case in order. You cannot fight his fire with an empty hose. About the abuse - have you ever contacted a women's shelter? They can give you some good advice and possibly refer you to an attorney that they know does good work for women. Wishing you the very best outcomes. |
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Yes, this is what happens in a divorce, he asks for everything, and you hire an attorney and then you ask for everything, it is a legal game, then his attorney will ask you to give in a little something, then you ask them to give in a little bit, then the judge orders both of you into mediation and you give and take alitle more. It is all a legal game, of hate and lies.
If you can't afford one, check into legal aids. And in the end, so he gets the house, who cares, moms almost always gets kids ( I will assume they kids are with you now) The most important thing is to be out and to be safe. |
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The thing about divorce that most people don't realize is that you can ask for anything. Just by asking doesn't mean you'll get it. It's a starting point for negotiations. You ask for a high amount so you have wiggle room... room to lower your expectations. This happens in the vast majority of divorces. By the time things are said and done... the divorce will look nothing like what either of you asked for initially. And that's OK. Don't stress so much over this paper. It sounds all legal and is certainly intimidating however it's like a child asking to drive your car. No matter how nicely he puts it... you wouldn't let a child drive your car. His asking for something does NOT mean he will get it. Just listen to your attorney and try not to let him get to you. That's part of what he wants. If he can get a reaction it might help his case in front of the judge. That's his basic logic. Take heart. Though it's stressful, in the long run you will get through this. You will more than likely end up with fairly equal halves in the case. My thoughts are with you as I believe that divorce is one of the hardest things we have to go through in life. :O)
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Originally Posted by Matt3046
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