[anhngu]

I'm sorry if this story is long but the background is important.
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I am 25 years old and my ex is 27. We met in the first year of law school and then he moved five hours away for school. Before he moved away, I got pregnant and we decided to have an abortion. After that, he got his acceptance into a very well-recognized law school. I wanted him to stay even though it was very selfish of me. He left and we decided to do the whole long distance thing. Somehow he changed. He lied to me about having his bf/ex-gf visited him. He didn't really tell anyone from school that I was his girlfriend when I came to visit. Basically, he was treating me very badly, without any respect or consideration. I don't have any concrete evidence that he cheated, only phone records which showed that he talked to a female co-worker every night from 11pm to midnight for a week. I told him to stop and he did. To make a long story short, I gave him chances after chances but he kept messing up by having of close female girlfriends around that made me very uncomfortable. Of course, he eventually told me that these girls from school all fell in love with him but he had rejected them because he loves me. During our on and off time, I dated another guy and he said that he would do anything to get me back. He said that he sees me as being his wife and the mother of his children.

Anyhow, we officially broke up in January. He didn't want to break up and apologized profusely about the way he treated me before. He said that he was "subconsciously looking" because (1) he was sure that my love for him would never change regardless of how he treats me and (2) he thought that when I beg him to stay in Los Angeles that I was so selfish for not letting him pursue his dream.Since then, he is still living far away and I dated another man for three months.

The problem is deep down, I think I might still love this man. But Im not sure if I truly love him or I am in love with the idea of "us". He told me he will never give up on us and he thinks that once he moves back, we'll be happy again. We have to take the Bar in July and I told him that once we finished and he moves back, we can go on a date to see where it stands. Is this a good idea or am I just going to waste the next three months hoping for the impossible? Please help.

[lmnotok]

I don't think he loves you that much, he is just selfish too. I think you should get on with your life NOW, now is the only moment you have, don't waste your time thinking about what will happen when its not you who can decide.
There is an old saying I found it very true: when you want something/someone so desparately, you yourself kill the chance of success.
So be positive, let him be, if he really wants you, he'll find a way, now your duty is to enjoy life, date other guys (who can forbid you?? )!
Stay cool

[talaniman]

Distance and high expectations, will ruin a relationship as you miss each other, and can't be together and you both expect your partner to not have a life just because your not there. Get you a life that you enjoy, and be happy now, because it makes no sense to wait on a maybe. Who knows what will happen. You do know what's happening now.