[Marissa17]

Hi all,

This is just a long rant of the thoughts swirling around in my head based on some things I’ve heard about my ex and his new girlfriend. Sunday night I went to visit a friend of mine at work and when I got there another one of my friends that I haven’t talked to in a while also happened to be hanging around. Not too many people go to a drugstore on a Sunday night so needless to say we were bored and got into some deep conversation where eventually my ex and his new girlfriend were brought up since we all go to school together. My friend that I hadn’t talked to in a while asked how he and I broke up and I explained how we were on a break and how I basically just got dropped for this new girl of his.

Of course she was surprised to hear this and then preceded to bring up some rumors she’s heard about my ex and his new girl, wondering if they were true. (We're not gossip queens, we don't make things up for fun, and this isn't a scene out of Mean Girls, it just happened to come up in conversation and I found an outsider's point of view to be very interesting for a change.) She then began relating those rumors to the things everyone used to hear about my ex and another ex girlfriend of his and how they had sex and whatnot. (Which my ex promised me none of these rumors were true and he wasn’t “like that”) Up until now I still believed that my ex’s ex (this is hard to follow and I apologize) had been making up these raunchy rumors herself because well…she’s crazy like that but now that similar rumors have come up about my ex and his new girl, I’m starting to wonder if those old rumors were actually true and I know for a fact that some of the new ones are.

When this whole conversation about my ex began I thought “Oh god I don’t want to hear this..” and I was going to change the subject but I soon found that it didn’t really bother me. All these details of them disappearing together from certain events and getting walked in on at parties while doing god knows what have really turned me off. After all, my ex is 17 and his new girl is only 15, she just seems so young to be involved in all of this.

I don’t truly think that any one person is better than another though right now I feel a step above my ex and his new girlfriend. I know his new girlfriend because I’ve been friends with her older sister for a few years. This new girl has that token “I hate the world”/rebel attitude and wears black everyday to school and pissing off her strict parents by dating a guy almost 3 years older than her is probably a plus so she’s enjoying this. I try to think logically but I really don’t see the attraction, she always looks miserable and always has except when she’s with my ex.

I’m friendly, decent looking, involved in a lot of sports and activities and I’ve developed a pretty optimistic attitude the last few months over this whole situation I’ve had to deal with and try to make the best of it. Yet my ex has still been infatuated with this girl for the past 5 months. I honestly never thought it would last. If all these rumors that have surfaced are true then I’m glad to be rid of him because I’m better than that crap he’s pulling, I actually have class. But with that said,I guess I just hate the fact that he’s really changed or that he might have always been this way and I’m just seeing his true colors now.

As for he and I, I try my best to avoid him in school and he just recently started doing the same. I always make sure I have some other friends to talk to when I’m stuck in a class sitting near him. He always seems to be bothered when I smile or when I’m enjoying a conversation with someone else and it bothers me when I see him doing the same though I don’t show it. It’s easier to just not talk to him though I think I may have come across as a heartless b***h in the process for avoiding potential contact and conversation in school. Unfortunately I still do have some feelings left for him and it sucks that I can’t talk to him even though I know it’s for the better. I’ll never just settle for being his friend.

He still tries to contact me via the internet once or twice a week. I had made a pact to myself that I just needed to tell him that I can’t be his friend. Since I made that pact last week he’s only messaged me once one night after I had fallen asleep. Therefore, I’m still looking for exactly the right words for when he tries again. I want to say or imply that I’m not avoiding him or ignoring him because I don’t care about him, but because it’s the only way I can deal with this. Then of course I’d be admitting that he still has an effect on me, which is the truth though it’s probably best he doesn’t know that. There’s just a lot of things that have been left unsaid between he and I and I don’t want to have to deal with this tension as long as I’m stuck in school with him. Any advice of any kind would be appreciated.

And also, has anyone else ever been in that kind of situation where you just got so fed up with something the ex has done that you just turned away and never went back? Did that uplifting feeling last or was it just a phase in the long process of healing?

[talaniman]

Some things are best left alone, so the rumors really mean nothing and seeing him and reacting to the grapevine is so unworthy of you. Keep doing what your doing and leave him alone. Not your business or concern any more.