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excon · Jun 7, 2007, 07:42 AM

Hello again, zoo:

Cool. Let go of the rage next. Dude, it AIN'T going to hurt him that you're torn up!

excon

Lowtax4eva · Jun 7, 2007, 07:48 AM

I know the topic is more should you report it and I'm glad you decided for now not to, but you have to consider if there is a statute of limitations, your saying this happened 2 years ago. They may not be able to prosecute even if he admitted he did it.

In any case, I think its best not to put her through all that stress if your trying to win her back so its good to hear you won't call the cops on him.

bushg · Jun 7, 2007, 07:52 AM

Originally Posted by zooropa1985

My ex who is 18 now lost her virginity a then 27 year old when she was 16, this being northern ireland she was just a minor.

No one knows about this apart from me and a few of her friends. I want him to pay for what he did as i see it being sexual abuse.

Do i have any right in reporting it to someone, even her parents, she said it took two to tango but i just can't accept that. She has begged me not too and t be honest im tryin to get her back so this would actually lessin my chances of that.

EDIT: WHEN I SAY GET HER BACK I DONT MEAN REVENGE, I MEAN GET HER BACK INTO MY LIFE.

The problem is that he is a free presbyterian and acts like he is saved, he certainly isnt anymore as this happened not so long ago. Everyone seems to think he is a nice guy but i dont want to be seen as the bad guy if i do report him. my ex begged me not too when i first heard about it.

I feel that if i did report him, even to her parents then i would completly lose her altogether, its tearing me apart inside but by keeping quiet i still have some hope that she will come back.

Your advice would be very helpful.

Thank you

He is a child molester and should be reported ! Now having said that you must make up your mind why you want to report him, is it for revenge? If you knew he did this to another 16 year old would you report it or ignore it? As far as the "two to tango" a 16 year old can be manipulated into tangoing with a 27 year old very easily, this is why it is illegal. I say save another child and tell anyone and everyone that will listen to you! Good luck

emopunk7 · Jun 7, 2007, 07:56 AM

I say it's done... Just do the right thing if you even want to stay friends with your ex... Don't burn bridges... She told you not to tell... She trusted you... Remember that. I know it's because you are in love still so it hurts you... Trust me, you really don't want to do it... U shouldn't worry about this anymore... Focus on making your mind better and being nice that way she can see it. Just text her like once a week saying I hope you are okay and doing fine. Take it on from there... Don't whine.

zooropa1985 · Jun 7, 2007, 07:58 AM

It was never really about calling the cops, it was more to do with telling her family and letting them know, she knew this guy for two years and he took her from her family to do that, he even went to church with them.

He was never a boyfriend or anything like that.

What gets me is that I'm her ex and I'm seen as the bad gu throughout all this in her families eyes, I just wanted to show that I'm never used or abused her.

bushg · Jun 7, 2007, 08:01 AM

"No man is an island to himself" what if you get this girl marry her and down the road have kids. In the meantime this jerk has went on to have kids and one of your little girls falls victim to this mans kids... after all molesters can pass it on to their kids unless the cycle is broken! Think about that one.

Squiffy · Jun 7, 2007, 08:05 AM

So you want to tell her family, who clearly don't like you, that you are not a bad guy because you didn't have sex with her but that man did? I am sure that will make them just adore you! Not. This isn't your business, I wouldn't want my ex husband telling my parents about anything to do with my sex life, its not his or anyone else's business. You are making this sound like she was a child, a 5 year old, being kidnapped and abused. She was a 16 year old. She was old enough to get married on most countries! Its not your business, and telling everyone to make yourself look like a good guy just won't work. They must have reason for not liking you (which none of us would know about really) so telling intimate details of their daughters sex life will not make you liked by them, not one bit. And my god she would never forgive you for that one!

zooropa1985 · Jun 7, 2007, 08:06 AM

Personnally if that happened to my little girl id kill him.

Look I can honestly say I'm not going to report it, I don't want to lose her and she's the girl I love. I made this topic when I was emotional and kind of regret it to be honest. I only came back because everyone seemed to be having a go at me and I wanted to ask them what if it was your girlfriend or daughter that got used in this way. It wasn't sex it was her innocence that he took, I was never able to share that with her and I was her first love.

I promise that one day I will get my own back on him but I want to concentrate on my ex first.

zooropa1985 · Jun 7, 2007, 08:27 AM

bushg disagrees: your being selfish and you don't really give a damn about you girl friend friend just what he took from you Grow up[

How am I begin selfish by not reporting it? Im thinking of her here and the effect it would have on her life.

bushg · Jun 7, 2007, 08:32 AM

You are afraid that you are going to lose her if you tell. You did not get benefits of her innocence cause he took it. You are not like bty her parents, and this will make them like you... you. You. You it is all about making you look good and what you lost. Get real! And to hell with what this perv could do to the rest of the little girls in the church and community. As long as it doesn't effect you r plans.

zooropa1985 · Jun 7, 2007, 08:42 AM

Yea I was begin selfish to begin with but reporting it would be the worst thing I could do to her and her family.

Don't you think if it was all me me me I would have done that by now. Im thinking of her and what she would have to go through, I care about her too much to put her through that e.

Besides even if I did, the peeps here are right, she would have to admit what he did and I don't think she would.

bushg · Jun 7, 2007, 08:47 AM

He is a pervert and a child rapist. The community and church need to know! "No man is an island unto himself"

zooropa1985 · Jun 7, 2007, 08:51 AM

OK lets say I report him, they bring in my ex and she denies it, what then?

talaniman · Jun 7, 2007, 08:53 AM

What a delima you face. She told you in confidence what happened and of course your angry, I would be too. But to put her through more humiliation and having her story come out, she isn't ready for that and neither are you. If it were my daughter, I'd be in jail. If it where my girlfriend whom I loved, some anonymous letters would be in his mailbox. Not nice letters either. But actions like that breed their own trouble, so I would never tell anyone or admit it to a soul.

bushg · Jun 7, 2007, 08:55 AM

At least it is out there and people have the right to decide who is telling the truth. Your conscience is clear. I did not say go to the police I said tell people in the community and esp[. Their church so this perv. Can be watched. But poor you you may lose the girl by pissing her off for good! So you will keep quite and do what is best for poor you. And lets hope that the next girl is not even younger.

talaniman · Jun 7, 2007, 08:58 AM

Originally Posted by bushg

He is a pervert and a child rapist. The community and church need to know! "No man is an island unto himself"

There are many ways to report his activities, to the church and police, without exposing him or his girlfriend. He just hasn't thought of them yet.

zooropa1985 · Jun 7, 2007, 09:01 AM

Originally Posted by bushg

At least it is out there and people have the right to decide who is telling the truth. Your conscience is clear. I did not say go to the police I said tell people in the community and esp[. their church so this perv. can be watched. But poor you you may lose the girl by pissing her off for good! so you will keep quite and do what is best for poor you. and lets hope that the next girl is not even younger.

Ok so you think I should tell the church and community? Well here's the problem he's a menber of the church, I'm not, who are they going to believe? Its all down to proof my friend, I have none.

And I really don't think you understand, I'm not doing this for me I'm doing it for her!

There's other ways to fix a problem that don't involve the people you love getting hurt in the process.

bushg · Jun 7, 2007, 09:06 AM

Plant a seed that is what you will be doing... and believe me he will be watched, at least by some. As for your girl she does not feel like a victim so how could you be ruining her life she thinks it was OK " it takes two to tango"and she is 18 now.

zooropa1985 · Jun 7, 2007, 09:13 AM

Originally Posted by bushg

plant a seed that is what you will be doing...and believe me he will be watched, at least by some. As for your girl she does not feel like a victim so how could you be ruining her life she thinks it was ok " it takes two to tango"and she is 18 now.

She comes from a church family, she is a "christian" and so if people found out she had sex let alone a one night stand then that would ruin her life, at least in terms of her family and church life.

Now I'm begin a hypocrite because I did sleep with her but not while she was a minor and I'm 21, plus I was her boyfriend.

It seems I can't win in this situation, look at the other posts telling me to mind my own business, when I do I get told to tell people, I'm trully comfused.

bushg · Jun 7, 2007, 09:18 AM

Originally Posted by zooropa1985

Ok guys first off all im not gonna report it but i have spoke to the guy and he did do it!

The fact that he drove a 16 year old school girl to a strange house at night, got her to perform oral in his car b4 taking her back to his house to take her virginity from her, sounds bad to me.

Im annoyed but he has tried it on other school girls, her friends infact and even tried it on with her while she was with me, thats when i threatened him to stay away from her.

She hates him for what he did, imagine if it was your girlfriend that got used in that way, i can't help but feel anger.

Im not goin to report it but theres rage inside me when i think about it, she went into great detail about what they did.

OK look at this. People he has done this before and he will do it again! REPORT HIM !Before he decides he likes younger girls.What happens when someone resist him and doesn't give in!. maybe your daughter or a relative or friend, just think about your child being manipulated by this perverted, child rapist. And then tell him to keep quite!