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rachell21 · Apr 30, 2007, 12:45 PM

OK here I go I've been with this guy for 2 1/2 yrs and I love him but we always fight he never wants to do anything with me his life is working and then when he gets off he works on otherpeoples rigs and about 2 months ago I met a guy he's really nice he's loves to be with me his family loves me to death and then my BF family can not stand me but anyway he loves my kids so what I'm I to do I'm so confused my BF hasn't even put a ring on my finger not even a promise ring and this other one already wants to plan a life with me

Lowtax4eva · Apr 30, 2007, 01:33 PM

Maybe it's just because your post was short but I don't see any reason to stay with this first guy, whose supposed to be your BF. Even if he proposes how are you going to have a life with someone that works all the time and has no interest in spending time with you when he is home?

AltaVista · Apr 30, 2007, 01:36 PM

I think if you step back and read your 'question' from an outside perspective, well you'll see that your current boyfriend isn't filling the role like a real boyfriend should. The new friend sounds like he's a much better choice. Why not take a little time to just think about both of them and consider All the factors that go into a great and long-term relationship. In my opinion, the description of your current situation sounds like a divorce waiting to happen - unless you genuinely believe he's going to completely change in the future. I doubt it.
Best of luck!

Clough · Apr 30, 2007, 01:47 PM

I would go for the second guy. The first one is already a known entity. But, get to know the second guy a lot more before either of you make any long-time commitments to each other. Some people date for a number of years before they get married.

Before making a commitment with someone, I would suggest making sure as to what plans you have for your own life, such as a possible career, are to your liking and are in order first.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 30, 2007, 02:15 PM

Well of course the first person could be upset because you are seeing a 2nd person to the point of "putting a ring on yoru finger"

It is obvious you have already gave up on the first since you are that close to the second person. I can't really see the question since it is obvoius you have already chosen by your post

ceriphante · May 3, 2007, 10:53 AM

You know I'd seriously suggest if you're going to break up with first guy definitely forget the second guy for at least three to six months...

Here's why, the second guy... might be appealing to you so much for the very reason that he SEEMS to be able to fill the gaps your first partner isn't at first inspection, but maybe he's preying on knowing these things?

You know deep down I don't think there's EVER a valid reason to just leap from one relationship to another, because you really are taking a chance with your guard down... not only that but say things did work out wickedly well with the second guy, what happens 2.5 years down the track when he starts worrying that because he's busy and you have another friend that maybe you will repeat what you did with him etc?

The best course of action if you've decided you don't want to be with your current partner give him closure, and then give yourself a few months alone, if after that time boy number 2 is still keen well maybe give him a shot, that's the most fair to all involved anyway..

tiredandlonely · May 3, 2007, 11:06 AM

Originally Posted by ceriphante

You know I'd seriously suggest if you're going to break up with first guy definately forget the second guy for at least three to six months...

here's why, the second guy... might be appealing to you so much for the very reason that he SEEMS to be able to fill the gaps your first partner isn't at first inspection, but maybe he's preying on knowing these things?

You know deep down I don't think there's EVER a valid reason to just leap from one relationship to another, because you really are taking a chance with your guard down... not only that but say things did work out wickedly well with the second guy, what happens 2.5 years down the track when he starts worrying that because he's busy and you have another friend that maybe you will repeat what you did with him etc?

The best course of action if you've decided you don't want to be with ur current partner give him closure, and then give yourself a few months alone, if after that time boy number 2 is still keen well maybe give him a shot, thats the most fair to all involved anyway..

My suggestion is to talk to boyfriend number 1 first. I am in the same position as he is. I don't think there is another guy involved but could be wrong. I was with a girl for 16 months and I worked all the time, when I was home with her we didn't do much. We hung out at her place and we did little things, but we never really went out a lot and such. I was working my butt off for a future for the both of us. She kind of new that and she was very understanding until back in March. Then she had enough and told me it was over. I was devastated. We had talked about things before that, but neither one of us really changed much. I loved her so much that I was doing all of that for her. Now in hindsight, if I would have known that was going to be the downfall, I would never had worked so much. It isn't worth it. I still want to be with her, and I am hurt that she threw this onto me one day. So my recommendation is to talk to him and tell him how you feel rather than just dumping him. Also someone had said about the praying guy, yes I would watch # 2 he might have seen you as vulnerable and looking for an oppurtunity.