[kevin2006]

Hi, I'm 22 years old university student and I realized I'm chronic attention seeker.. sometimes I start thinking some farfetched ideas and worrisome thoughts and I get depressed hoping someone will notice and comfort me.. my girlfriend realized this and made me realize it too... its so true because I've seen myself do it for a long time... I was wondering what I could do to stop this self attention need and just be a normal person.

[kevin2006]

Hey can someone help me

[Clough]

Attention seeker, huh? By posting an answer to your own question, you just did the thing like what you are trying to solve. No problem though, I have done it a number of times on this site, both for myself and others. Posting an answer makes the question higher on the list. So, then people are more likely to see it. I hate to see people's questions go unanswered, especially if they are good ones.

I'm sorry that no one took the time to answer you yesterday. I am taking the time now, and I will do my best.

I'm not quite sure what you mean by "farfetched" ideas, though. Are you talking about being creative and wanting your ideas to be known? Are you wanting an outlet for them? Are you thinking that no one is listening to you? And, because of the lack of attention to your ideas, then becoming depressed?

If you are thinking irrational thoughts such as about things that could not be real, or of hurting yourself or others, then I would seek out the attention of a mental health professional.

Normal? We could go round and round about what is "normal." If it is the way you are, and your're not hurting someone else or yourself, physically or mentally, able to find and keep a job, then the way that you are can be considered to be normal.

Being an attention seeker can be a drawback if the attention you are wanting at any given time is supposed to be on someone else. Like, when someone is asking a question and wanting an answer. Or, when everyone is supposed to be focused on something, as a group, in a certain way.

But also, being an attention seeker can be a very positive thing. Think of all the people in the world who have tried to change things for the better, and what it would have been like if they had not sought out the attention to themselves and/or their ideas. Examples: Gandhi, Mother Jones, Martin Luther King Jr. The Beatles, Deng Xiao Ping, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B. Anthony, Samuel L. Clemens (Mark Twain), Franklin D. Roosevelt, W.E.B. Dubois, Frederick Douglass, Harriet Tubman, Dred Scott, John Brown, Eleanor Roosevelt , etc. etc. All of these persons were seekers of attention. I am glad that they were.

You too, could change the world someday.

Perhaps you just need an outlet for getting attention. Have you ever tried acting on stage? If not, you might like to give it a try. Many actors and actresses have narcissistic tendencies. They have their outlet by expressing themselves on the stage. They also have the capacity to change the way people think because of being in the attention of potentially many people. I am narcissistic. Have been in over forty musical theatre productions, either on the stage or in the orchestra.

What about writing things as an outlet? Talk to teachers about the ways to express yourself through writing. Just takes practice to learn how to write. Twenty years ago, I would not have been able to write something like I am now. I practised.

Just from the tone of your post, I would say that you are a creative person who just needs to focus and channel your creativity in a way that would make you not blame yourself or make yourself feel guilty because you are an attention seeker. If being a leader is something that is in your blood, then go for it! :)

[Bluerose]

Clough,

Wanted so much to ‘agree’ but had to spread it.

Brilliant answer!


Kevin,

Nothing wrong with seeking some attention - I do it all the time. A little recognition here and a little validation there.

I put it down to a crappy childhood but I do understand this is not always the reason we seek other people’s attention.

Try some of Clough’s ideas and suggestions.

And take a leaf out of this forums book…… If you are seeking attention from your family and friends remember to ‘spread it around’ or you might end up wearing them all out.

[Marcusstorm]

Hi, i'm 22 years old university student and i realized im chronic attention seeker..sometimes i start thinking some farfetched ideas and worrisome thoughts and i get depressed hoping someone will notice and comfort me..my girlfriend realized this and made me realize it too...its so true because ive seen myself do it for a long time...i was wondering what i could do to stop this self attention need and just be a normal person.

Well, beginning when I was around 12, my family used to talk to my psych's in front of me. Funnily enough the two words that I recall hearing, now 9 years later were attention seeker. I understand that I am now, that I just crave attention. But I also went through counselling to understand why. I now realize it was because of the lacking affection I received from my mother. I still seek attention though, unconciously but I feel that knowing the reason behind it help me know what I need and why I need it. What I am trying to say is, everyone has a reason for their different wants and needs in life, I believe it stems from childhood relationships, its just a matter of controlling those desires to a degree. If we let them take control we will hurt other people and most definitely ourselves...

[Bluerose]

Kevin,

Learn to tell some great jokes and good stories and you will have all the attention you need. Take care of yourself - any way you can so long as it doesn't hurt you or anyone else in the process. Be yourself and be happy!

[kevin2006]

I appreciate everyone's advice.. I really do... I really do like writing stories and poems... ive been writing creative stories since public school but I haven't any recently because I didn't have to and I don't have enough time... I feel like I'm seeking too much attention from my girlfriend to make sure she's always there for me... and I don't want to have to put her through that kind of stuff and make her feel smothered... I will try some of the tips you people have told me.. thanks again

[LifesBeautiful]

Let God help you fix that area in your life. I use to LOVE attention & craved it A lot! But when I gave all my burdens to Him, It helped me heal, & He worked on my insecurity, I recognized that when I was a child my dad wasn't really around & isn't in my life right now. I always wanted affection from my parents, But it didn't happen so I can say that that's why I think I'm more independent & stronger & don't take pitty like a soldier you can say. But you need that love & affection in your life thou. It doesn't nneccesary need to be relationship wise, it can be you getting invlived in a charity or a hospital with kids that have cancer. Then you'll start to realize that does are the ones who truly need attention, not us. Your problems start to seem smaller when you help others. Get connected with a local church & they will help you, whenever you need to talk they can be there & give you a helping hand, & good advice. But most importantly pray! Pray to God to take away & erase your childhood past & renew you, & that who's only attention you seek will be His! Let your past be a testimonial. Like mines. :)

[panda888]

Dude, I'm the same way, and I don't know how to stop it, and the fact that I know I'm doing it, makes me severely ill to my stomach...
I thought I was the only one, I would like to talk to you more about it