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excon · Apr 29, 2007, 06:29 AM

Hello:

I got another message today: If you steal enough, when they catch you, you can pay to be housed in a 5 star jail.

For offenders whose crimes are usually relatively minor (carjackers should not bother) and whose bank accounts remain lofty, a dozen or so city jails in California offer pay-to-stay upgrades. I suppose it's a natural progression when you allow private industry to run your prisons.

Pretty soon, the really really rich will be able to build their own prisons like Pablo Escobar. I don't like this message either.

excon

RubyPitbull · Apr 29, 2007, 06:32 AM

What are the amenities in a 5 star jail? Is it cheaper than a hotel? Maybe the next time I have to visit California, I can book a room there. If I can't, what kind of crime should I commit when I pass the border into California that will allow me this luxury?

excon · Apr 29, 2007, 06:40 AM

Hello Ruby:

I don't know. Try peeing on a cops leg.

For roughly $75 to $127 a day, these convicts — who are known in the self-pay parlance as “clients” — get a small cell behind a regular door, distance of some amplitude from violent offenders and, in some cases, the right to bring an iPod or computer on which to compose a novel, or perhaps a song.

Read more about it in today's NY Times.

excon

TheSavage · Apr 29, 2007, 06:40 AM

These posts remind me of my grand dad. As far back as I can recall he would not say "with justice for all in the pledge, Because he felt blacks did not get the same justice as us whites.
When I was in the can I saw it first hand.
1) white guy with a record /b&e/ grand larceny/ arson to cover the crime/ 1 year
2) white guy arson for fun /1 year
3) 40 years old black guy,no record/ got drunk , ran out of gas /tried to steal some from his boss / burned down his bosses packing house by accident/ 10 years

Justice American style. -- Savage

RubyPitbull · Apr 29, 2007, 06:58 AM

I agree wholeheartedly with you Savage. This country is very far from being one in which there is justice for all. Your grandfather was a smart man.

I just read the article, excon. VERY innerestin' indeedy. I think peeing on a cop's leg would only get me a ticket. I guess I will have to think outside the box on this one. Those rates are very reasonable. Safe hotels in California are much more expensive. What is safer than this kind of prison? The rooms look nice and cozy. I have to go visit family there sometime soon so, I don't know. I have to formulate a plan. Maybe pooping inside a cop car?

shygrneyzs · Apr 29, 2007, 07:12 AM

Well, remember that evangelist Jimmy Baker? He was sent to a rather posh federal prision, where there were even tennis courts! If you are going to do a crime, make it big enough to rate the perks!

RubyPitbull · Apr 29, 2007, 07:35 AM

I remember that shy! I think it has more to do with who you know. And it is one of those things that it needs to be a first offense that doesn't physically hurt anyone.

excon · Apr 29, 2007, 07:46 AM

Hello again, shy:

I've been in those kind of places. Let me disabuse you of the thought that these places are "Club Fed". They're NOT. It's true. There was no fence, and we had tennis courts.

However, a wall does NOT make a prison, and I found little comfort in a quick set of tennis.

The Bureau of Prisons still ran it. The guards were still a$$holes, and I still couldn't leave.

In fact, an argument could be made that it's easier to do time if you're not constantly reminded of what you're missing. In a prison camp, it's all happening on the other side of the road that you can't cross. Inside the walls, you never see it. Having done both, I support that argument.

excon