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    mommysgurl's Avatar
    mommysgurl Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 24, 2007, 03:53 AM
    Can I choose what parent I want to live with at the age of 15 in clovis New Mexico
    Hey I'm 15 years old and I live with my dad and I absolutely hate it... well over the last couple of months I found out that my dad don't have full custody... him and my mom have joint custody... and all my friends are telling me that I am old enough to choose who I want to live with and the parent I live with has no say so... as long as the parent I want to live with will take me back... well I guess if you know anything or can help me in any way plez write me asap... :confused:
    tigeranimatio's Avatar
    tigeranimatio Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Apr 24, 2007, 06:37 AM
    I think that you need to think through what you're saying here. Have you lived with your father for the last fifteen years? And has it always been a bad experience or just recently?

    You can request to move in with your mother, and the courts will let you if that's what she and you decide is the best option. However, this is going to hurt your dad's feelings, especially if moving will change the amount of time he can see you drastically.

    Have you and your mom traditionally got along better than you and your dad? There's no reason not to move; I'm just playing devil's advocate. If things aren't so bad now, then you move in with your mom and things are worse... What is the judge going to say when you ask to move back?

    The fact that you say you need an answer "asap" is worrisome. I think you need to think things through. Good luck.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Apr 24, 2007, 06:56 AM
    First no it does not work like that, normally the court will have issued not only a custody order but also who would have physcial custody. I wold say there is a reason your father raised you all of those years, and you have not said why you hate it, of course all kids hate living where parents make them do homework, and make them do chores, So there is not enough info here, But no, it is never up to the child, the court will decide who the child lives with.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #4

    Apr 24, 2007, 07:29 AM
    Joint Custody simply means that both parents have a say in how you are raised. It doesn't mean physical custody.

    If you want to move in with mom, SHE has to file a petition with the court to modify the custody agreement. At the hearing, your preference will be listened to. But the judge will have the final say.
    mommysgurl's Avatar
    mommysgurl Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Apr 24, 2007, 09:49 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by tigeranimatio
    I think that you need to think through what you're saying here. Have you lived with your father for the last fifteen years? And has it always been a bad experience or just recently?

    You can request to move in with your mother, and the courts will let you if thats what she and you decide is the best option. However, this is going to hurt your dad's feelings, especially if moving will change the amount of time he can see you drastically.

    Have you and your mom traditionally got along better than you and your dad? There's no reason not to move; I'm just playing devil's advocate. If things aren't so bad now, then you move in with your mom and things are worse... What is the judge going to say when you ask to move back?

    The fact that you say you need an answer "asap" is worrisome. I think you need to think things through. Good luck.


    Well to tell you the truth I have lived with my mom for all my life except for the past year and 5 months and 20 days... and it sucks so bad and I want to go back home with my mom... me and my dad do not get along at all and he tells me that he's not my father that my step dad is... and to tell you the truth that's how I see it too... my step dad has always been there for me... the only thing my dad ever did was send my mom a check once a month and wouldn't even come and see me... he also says that if my mom files for full custody then he is not going to fight for me and he is going to give up all his father rights to my step dad... im kind of happy that he will do that but at the same time I don't want him to feel bad because I do love him even though it may be hard to see that... I just can't get along with him and I want to be with my little 7 year old brother and my older sister... and it hurts me to go visit my mom and only get to stay for 2 days... because I gota leave so soon and my little bro alwayz asks when I'm coming back home and it hurts me to see him cry because I have to tell him that I'm not... but yea my mom is going to talk to her lawyer today and get some papers pulled up and I hope I can finally tell my little bro that I'm coming back home... and I don't know but how will the judge decide what's or who's the best person for me to live with if my dad decides to put up a fight... :confused: :confused: :confused:
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #6

    Apr 24, 2007, 10:02 AM
    I'm curious. How did you wind up moving in with your dad in the first place?
    mommysgurl's Avatar
    mommysgurl Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Apr 24, 2007, 01:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem
    I'm curious. How did you wind up moving in with your dad in the first place?


    Well because of the fact that I never had anything to do with my dad and me and my sister would alwayz fight and stuff so I asked if I could go try and live with him... my mom said yes... and well I've been going over there every weekend and me my sis are so good... we never fight... we do everything together and we both agreed that if I moved back in than it would stay like that... and yea but my dad didn't want to give me back up... so yea but as much as we fight and I tell him I want to live with my mom he says well she don't want you so might as well forget about it... but he also said that the only way I would get to go back is if she files for full custody and he will give up all his fatherly rights... I do a whole lot better when I'm with my mom to because when I with my dad I alwayz get in to trouble over the stupidiest things ever... but yea does that answer your question
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #8

    Apr 24, 2007, 01:46 PM
    No, in this case, you are just at your dad because you mom is letting you, just pack your bag and go back to mom, does not appear there is anything he can do, as noted ""joint" custody has nothing to do with physcial custody, the court would have awarded one parent physical custody, even with both having joiint cusotdy over what happens to the child, basically your dad is misinformed on this.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #9

    Apr 24, 2007, 05:23 PM
    I agree with Chuck, What's worse is I think your dad is trying to get out of paying child support. This sounds like he's trying to get your step dad to adopt you so he won't have to pay.

    Call your mom, pack your baqgs and meet her some place and go HOME!

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