[aexoticly]

(I'm 15, about to be 16 by the way)

For a very long time now I have been feeling really depressed. I don't want to get up in the mornings, and I'm finding simple tasks like brushing my teeth and washing my face hard to do. My parents are mainly the reason for this, I feel. They constantly yell at me, and when I was younger they left bruises on me when they spanked me. I can't cry or they call me sensitive, so I use makeup to cover the redness of my face when I do. They also call me a loser, disturbing, crazy, haphazard, and a lot more. They say I'm careless with my schoolwork and that I never try, when in reality I do. I make A's and B's, but my mom compares me to herself when she was younger and says she always got one hundreds.

I was in the car with her a few days ago, and I told her I think I might be depressed. She sarcastically said, "Why? Because you have such a miserable life?" I said, "No...it's just, the way y'all yell at me and parent me. It's been really hurting me lately." She rolled her eyes and said, "Sorry for failing you." , and has barely said a word to me since that day. She acts like she found out I've been doing drugs. When I go to dance, I am the one that has to say love you, and she quietly replies. I don't know what to do. I'm not allowed to be in a group chat with the people I see everyday at dance, and I've known them for 5 plus years. I am homeschooled so I don't have counselors or teachers I could talk to. My home is my prison. I'm trying to enjoy my teenage years, but my parents don't let me do ANYTHING. I have talked to my nana about it, and she feels bad for me. A lot of my friends do, but there isn't anything they can do to help. My grandma has tried talking to her about it numerous times, but my mom only yells at me for telling her about the things they say to me. What do I do?

[Wondergirl]

Are there things you have done or do or could do that make your parents, especially your mom, smile?

[aexoticly]

No, not really. And they never seem to be proud of me.

[Homegirl 50]

If you are not feeling well will they take you to the doctor?
How is your relationship with your father?

[Wondergirl]

And if they take you to the doctor, would you be allowed to see him/her alone and be able to talk about your depression -- or would a parent be with you all the time?

[aexoticly]

If I told them I needed a therapist, they would say I didn't. And my relationship with my dad isn't the best, but he is a bit nicer than my mom.

[aexoticly]

No, my parents wouldn't leave me alone with my doctor.

[Wondergirl]

It sounds like your nana might be the key to getting help. Is she brave enough to help, or will that mess up her relationship with your parents?

Do your parents monitor your internet use? In other words, if they don't, are you free to use Facebook messenger or email in order to talk with a therapist about all this? At least, it would be a start.

[aexoticly]

She said she wants to help me, I just don't know what she could do to help. Yes, my parents monitor it. I'm not even supposed to be on here, as they don't allow any websites.