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    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 221, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 8, 2019, 08:02 AM
    Why would a man waste his time chatting with another woman ?
    Everyone thinks it's a bad idea for me to be friends with an ex from the past. I am not dealing with him now but we remained friends. I usually vent to him about someone else.
    We just converse really just to waste time and I guess for entertainment. It's not like we are trying to hook up or anything. I just don't understand the need for our conversation.
    We just have regular conversations as if I would with a female friend. Ok sex is mentioned but it doesn't mean anything it's part of the entertainment of our conversation to make it not boring.

    This man is a friend he is in love with his wife.She maybe sleep cause sometimes we can chat until the time we wake up throughout the day until we both fall asleep.I just don't get why because it's not like we are going to see each other. He lives down south and I am up north. When he do come up I don't see him.He have some family still up this way.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #2

    Nov 8, 2019, 08:24 AM
    He isn’t in love with his wife if he is asking you to send him videos of you and the other man having sex. This man is emotionally cheating on his wife.
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 221, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Nov 8, 2019, 08:38 AM
    but he has been with her for long time. They got married in 2009 . Once I was with him 2014 but even since then they brought a nice big house 2016. They even went to a celebrity wedding 2 mos ago on the island. He must be happy. I am not trying to be with him I am seeing the other guy I post about. Just that this guy always talks bad about that guy and I don't know why. He told me he sees nothing good coming from this. We do talk all the time even when I was on vacation I was chatting with him because I looked at us being friends.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Nov 9, 2019, 03:59 AM
    You had sex with him after he was married behind his wifes back, or just meet up behind his wifes back? Neither is good. Nor is the fact that both your ex sex partners know each other. This is just a messy way to go about your friendships or relationships. Stop being so messy and you won't be so confused, or curious. This isn't what one would consider a healthy situation at all.
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 221, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Nov 9, 2019, 05:24 AM
    I know but I wanted know why he'd waste time. Hatting all these yrs
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Nov 9, 2019, 06:07 AM
    No the real question is why you let him waste your time?
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 221, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Nov 9, 2019, 10:11 AM
    I do it cuz im bored at work
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    Nov 9, 2019, 10:17 AM
    That's what I figured.
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 221, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Nov 9, 2019, 10:29 AM
    But emotional affair is non sex right? We had sex kn past
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #10

    Nov 9, 2019, 10:42 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by honeybun35 View Post
    I do it cuz im bored at work
    What work do you do? What's your job?
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 221, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Nov 9, 2019, 10:46 AM
    Office... insurance....how can it be emotional affair we already had sex in past
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #12

    Nov 9, 2019, 12:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by honeybun35 View Post
    Office... insurance....how can it be emotional affair we already had sex in past
    Volunteer at an animal shelter, hospital or nursing home, food pantry/soup kitchen. Get busy helping others who have less.

    Now the affair is only emotional. Move past that. Ignore him. Say goodbye to him.
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 221, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Nov 9, 2019, 12:25 PM
    No just bored at work I'm very busy.why when he's an old friend.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #14

    Nov 9, 2019, 12:40 PM
    You say you don't see the point in conversations with him, stop having them. Tell him you don't think they are appropriate and stop. It's really that simple. You don't help a man cheat on his wife because you are bored. Find something constructive to do with your time
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 221, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Nov 9, 2019, 12:44 PM
    He's not cheating he's an ex but we've been friends 30 yrs and have mutual friends.he doesn't even see me.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #16

    Nov 9, 2019, 12:46 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by honeybun35 View Post
    He's not cheating he's an ex but we've been friends 30 yrs and have mutual friends.he doesn't even see me.
    But you two manage to misbehave anyway.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #17

    Nov 9, 2019, 12:49 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by honeybun35 View Post
    He's not cheating he's an ex but we've been friends 30 yrs and have mutual friends.he doesn't even see me.
    He does not see you but you have inappropriate conversations. This needs to stop. The fact that you're asking should tell you something.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #18

    Nov 9, 2019, 01:04 PM
    I’m feeling that you thrive on the excitement and the drama and quite possibly have very low self esteem. Any strong woman would not allow herself to be taken advantage of in this manner.

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