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    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 145, Reputation: 1
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    #21

    Sep 12, 2019, 06:04 AM
    He is not steady with me. The other guy named that was mentioned in the post. He shows me way more attention.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,051, Reputation: 10852
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    #22

    Sep 12, 2019, 06:30 AM
    So why are you stringing this FWB along if what you want is to explore the guy who gives you attention? Where's the honesty in that? You've been playing on both sides of the fence for a long time now it seems and that's not fair. It's not fair either to keep on looking for stuff to make one guy seem better than the other.

    I have seen this many times where someone with two choices entertains one person while holding on to an old person they basically keep in the dark until they can decide which they want more. Too bad the FWB doesn't have the balls to cut you loose and get his own act together.

    At least now I understand why you cannot have an honest conversation with the long time FWB, because he is your safety man in case this other guy ain't that into you, or it doesn't work out. You need to make a choice playa!
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 145, Reputation: 1
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    #23

    Sep 12, 2019, 06:46 AM
    I'm not sure I follow. Pick out what pieces? He went on an open Facebook thread so not sure what you are talking about
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 145, Reputation: 1
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    #24

    Sep 12, 2019, 06:51 AM
    The other guy that gives more attention is happily married. I used to see him back in 1991. We got married the same yr 2009 but I got divorced. We always chat he doesn't live any where nearby me. He is about 6 1/2 hours away from me. He is the guy I normally go to for advice. Yet he still likes me to but again he is happily married. I was saying he contacts me more even though he is married we chat all day almost everyday.I'm not stringing anyone. I do have feelings for him too but I cannot have him.

    The other guy on the other hand is single but plays many games. He doesn't contact me as nearly as much as the unavailable guy does. That's why that was shocking learning that he would even go through my phone find out my other friend name and make a post about it on Facebook. Why would he even care. But he made a notice of it.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,051, Reputation: 10852
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    #25

    Sep 12, 2019, 07:13 AM
    Thank you Honeybun for clearing that up, as frankly you made it seem you had two available guys you were in love with, but I will say again for the miliionth time you and this fellow need some honest communications between you. Your FWB must be pretty confused and desperate to go through your phone, and why would you want to keep him that way by saying nothing?

    Sorry I just don't get that.
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 145, Reputation: 1
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    #26

    Sep 12, 2019, 07:18 AM
    He has female friends too. We are not a couple though. What you mean even if he had to snoop he isn't my boyfriend. I'm sure if I did the same thing I would find bunch of conversations with other woman. I expect that but i didn't go through his phone. We have no commitment. The fact that it must of bothered or whatever reason for him to make the guy name noticed on Facebook.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,051, Reputation: 10852
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    #27

    Sep 12, 2019, 07:47 AM
    I have given my thoughts as this is a very obvious and clear case of failure to honestly communicate simply because the boundaries of good behavior have been crossed, and need to be reestablished. The longer you ignore that FACT, the worse things become.
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 145, Reputation: 1
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    #28

    Sep 12, 2019, 07:59 AM
    It does help trust me I take everything that you're saying as something to feed off of. Some things I didn't even think of. I am just confused as to why things happen.You're pretty much telling me he doing the same thing but in a different way.
    Not sure what else he does only know of that one thing because of the post which many people liked btw. One person even comment 100% saying it goes both ways.
    They don't know why he posted but a lot of them liked the post.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,051, Reputation: 10852
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    #29

    Sep 12, 2019, 11:10 AM
    Does it matter what they like on social platforms? He is still putting his personal business out there, of which is about you, so he probably thinks you have another FWB besides him, and may the other fellow better. Rather an immature convoluted assumption in my book, that in my opinion has gone way to far, since he just knows enough to be troubling and skew his behavior as to cross a line that makes for unnecessary drama. I hate unnecessary drama myself, but given all your questions so far, it still comes down to what you will do about it.

    If it were me I would just ask you what the facts of the matter are, and you know you have the same options to ask him too what you want to know. Or forget the drama and enjoy the sex when you can get it. I just thought friends with benefits was a more discreet thing between two consenting adults, but this is anything but discreet.

    Is that cool?
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 145, Reputation: 1
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    #30

    Sep 12, 2019, 12:23 PM
    it's cool but feelings occurring
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,781, Reputation: 2603
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    #31

    Sep 12, 2019, 02:07 PM
    Well since there are feelings, maybe you should tell him. He will either be ok with it or not care if you have feelings or not.

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