Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    bamatracy's Avatar
    bamatracy Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 27, 2018, 11:02 AM
    New father of 20 year old
    My husband of 19 years and I found out that he has a 20 year old daughter last week - I went through a wide range of emotions . I have a son that is 25 from a previous marriage. My husband and I had 2 miscarriages and I have always regretted that I could not give him a child. We went and met her a couple of days ago and took the paternity test and will get results in couple of days. Why am I not happy about this and why do I feel jealous? Please help cause I am stressing out
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #2

    Nov 27, 2018, 12:02 PM
    Why would you stress out over this 20 year old well kept secret? I suspect your stress is from apprehension and unknown adjustments that will likely be made, and I imagine your husband is freaking out as well, so you both are probably feeding off each others anxieties. I would reassure you both to go through this together where ever it leads.

    No doubt it will take more than a week for the emotional dust to settle and waiting for the paternity test results would drive anyone nuts. Do you think you like the girl? No reason to feel guilty that you couldn't bear him kids, stuff happens, or be jealous of this girl or her mama.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #3

    Nov 27, 2018, 01:48 PM
    So he was with someone before he was with you. Did you not know about it?

    It is obvious the women who gave birth, thought so little of him, to hide the child.

    It is doubtful there will be any relationship of a unknown adult child, no bonding that years of parenting gives.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

What does a father do to get his 16 year old son? [ 2 Answers ]

My 16 yr old son lives wit his uncle he has tepary custudy mother sign her rights away my son is un happy and wants to live wit me the uncle threats my son if he says anything want answer my calls

My 4 year old's father isn't around, how do I tell her why? [ 2 Answers ]

My daughter was born in 2002 and from the start her father wanted nothing to do with us because he felt as though she was not his. In 2003 I met this great guy who accepted me and my daughter with open arms. We recently ended our relationship in the summer of 2006 which is also the time when I...

I am a 28 year old father with a child by a 17 year old girl. [ 4 Answers ]

Her parents does not want to except maintenance from me for my child and thus not want to grant me access to see my child. What are my rights as the family advocate told me I am the only with rights over this child as the mother is a minor.

Can my 12 year old son live with his father [ 4 Answers ]

My wife left me 2 & half month ago and my 12 year old son wants to live with me in the family home with his 18 year old brother . I have a 7 year old son and he wants to live with his mother in there rented home . My wife is more intrested in texding her friends and going out and getting drunk...

I have a 2 year old daughter and her father has not seen her in over a year. [ 3 Answers ]

I have a 2 year old daughter and her father left me when she was 5 months old and the last time he saw her was 2 weeks before Christmas 2006, he and I were never married. He knows where she is and how to get ahold of me and see her, but has failed in trying to contact me or see her. I do not have a...


View more questions Search