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    jlisenbe's Avatar
    jlisenbe Posts: 5,019, Reputation: 157
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    #161

    Nov 16, 2018, 06:53 PM
    Or just cut off the incentive.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #162

    Nov 16, 2018, 07:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jlisenbe View Post
    Or just cut off the incentive.
    The media create incentives for women -- to be sexy, to be loved, to be desirable, to attract a sex partner, even a mate. Too often a baby is the afterthought, the accident, the mistake. Much less often is there a financial incentive.
    jlisenbe's Avatar
    jlisenbe Posts: 5,019, Reputation: 157
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    #163

    Nov 16, 2018, 07:18 PM
    The media create incentives for women -- to be sexy, to be loved, to be desirable, to attract a sex partner, even a mate. Too often a baby is the afterthought, the accident, the mistake. Much less often is there a financial incentive.
    Ten bucks a month for birth control pills. Don't try to tell me that women are getting pregnant as an "afterthought". They know the feds are there to send in the checks. Just the slightest amount of "beforethought" would take care of the problem for anyone who actually cares. I'm done with making excuses for people. It's time we started expecting people to behave like grownups.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #164

    Nov 16, 2018, 07:19 PM
    Or you could train MEN and boys to behave better and step up to their responsibilities. Or maybe the need to breed is beyond both men and women. Hmm!
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #165

    Nov 16, 2018, 07:22 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jlisenbe View Post
    Ten bucks a month for birth control pills. Don't try to tell me that women are getting pregnant as an "afterthought". They know the feds are there to send in the checks. Just the slightest amount of "beforethought" would take care of the problem for anyone who actually cares. I'm done with making excuses for people. It's time we started expecting people to behave like grownups.
    Trouble is, they're not grownups; they're emotionally immature and factually uninformed "woman-childs" looking for love. Visit Catholic Charities or Lutheran Social Services or your county health department. Ask questions; do some research.
    jlisenbe's Avatar
    jlisenbe Posts: 5,019, Reputation: 157
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    #166

    Nov 16, 2018, 07:25 PM
    Or you could train MEN and boys to behave better and step up to their responsibilities. Or maybe the need to breed is beyond both men and women. Hmm!
    Yes, that is a desperate need. I agree, but men don't get pregnant. That's an issue that hits women far harder, and they have a far greater personal stake with this. In this day and age, if a woman has consensual sex and gets pregnant, then it is on her. Yes, the man should have behaved better, but he won't be the one getting pregnant.

    I would hope that everyone would keep their doors locked at night, but no one has any greater stake in ME keeping my doors locked than ME. It's the same principle. Take care of yourself.

    Isn't it amazing that, here in the age of practically limitless birth control options, the out of wedlock birth rate is over ten times greater than it was in 1960?

    Trouble is, they're not grownups; they're emotionally immature and factually uninformed "woman-childs" looking for love. Visit Catholic Charities or Lutheran Social Services or your county health department. Ask questions; do some research.
    Stop incentivizing it. Yes, music and movies are a serious problem, but the democrats who run most of that have no interest in changing it. And please don't suggest I do research. I've been around this in public education for more than thirty years.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #167

    Nov 16, 2018, 07:29 PM
    Yes, the man should have behaved better, but he won't be the one getting pregnant.
    And if she says no because she isn't on the pill or doesn't have an IUD in place or doesn't have a condom in her purse, then what? Will he pat her on the shoulder and tell her he understands why she is saying no to him?

    Isn't it amazing that, here in the age of practically limitless birth control options, the out of wedlock birth rate is over ten times greater than it was in 1960?
    Check the media and the music back then, the movies and the messages sent to teens and unmarried 20-somethings. Oh, and I was a teen back then, so feel free to ask me questions. :D
    jlisenbe's Avatar
    jlisenbe Posts: 5,019, Reputation: 157
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    #168

    Nov 16, 2018, 07:37 PM
    And if she says no because she isn't on the pill or doesn't have an IUD in place or doesn't have a condom in her purse, then what? Will he pat her on the shoulder and tell her he understands why she is saying no to him?
    Are you serious?? What an incredible question! Yes, yes, yes she should risk getting her feelings hurt rather than risk getting pregnant. Maybe you should tell her to grow up and join the adult world. Grow a backbone. Value herself. No man is worth her getting pregnant and raising a child by herself.

    And all this time I thought you were a "modern woman", and yet you certainly seem to be suggesting that women engage in sex just so they can keep their man. I don't mean to overreact, but that is such an outrageous suggestion you have framed in your question.

    I must confess that I am rather pleased to now be the one defending the rights of women.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #169

    Nov 16, 2018, 07:43 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jlisenbe View Post
    Are you serious?? What an incredible question! Yes, yes, yes she should risk getting her feelings hurt rather than risk getting pregnant. Maybe you should tell her to grow up and join the adult world. No man is worth her getting pregnant and raising a child by herself.

    And all this time I thought you were a "modern woman", and yet you are suggesting that women engage in sex just so they can keep their man? I don't mean to overreact, but that is such an outrageous suggestion you have framed in your question.
    My question was, will HE pat her on the shoulder (after time spent kissing and petting) and say, "Okay, sweetie. Let's get some ice cream."

    You totally missed my point. My point was: What will HE do? How will HE react? Will HE take no for an answer?

    You need to be female for at least a month.
    jlisenbe's Avatar
    jlisenbe Posts: 5,019, Reputation: 157
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    #170

    Nov 16, 2018, 07:47 PM
    My question was, will HE pat her on the shoulder (after time spent kissing and petting) and say, "Okay, sweetie."
    Who gives a flying rip what he thinks? Tell her to kick his backside out and find someone who has some sense. If the man is behaving stupidly, then the answer is not for the woman to also behave stupidly. If he wants to be insistent, call the cops. I have no patience with that kind of behavior. Better yet, let him know from the beginning that sexual favors are reserved for marriage.

    I think I got your point very well.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #171

    Nov 16, 2018, 07:56 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jlisenbe View Post
    Who gives a flying rip what he thinks? Tell her to kick his backside out and find someone who has some sense. If the man is behaving stupidly, then the answer is not for the woman to also behave stupidly. If he wants to be insistent, call the cops. I have no patience with that kind of behavior. Better yet, let him know from the beginning that sexual favors are reserved for marriage.

    I think I got your point very well.
    Nope, you haven't. He's in control; he has the physical power. He runs the con. Call the cops? Not always possible or even "allowed" by the guy. Just because she says sexual favors are reserved for marriage (who says that in 2018???) doesn't mean he can't get past that boundary or certainly try to.
    jlisenbe's Avatar
    jlisenbe Posts: 5,019, Reputation: 157
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    #172

    Nov 16, 2018, 08:03 PM
    Nope, you haven't. Call the cops? Not always possible or even "allowed" by the guy. Just because she says sexual favors are reserved for marriage (who says that in 2018???) doesn't mean he can't get past that boundary or certainly try to.
    You are the parenting expert on this board. Maybe it's time for you to start saying it. Women need to take charge of their own lives. It's just amazing to me that I'm the one championing the cause of strong women here. I will grant you that it will take a moral revolution to see this happen, but I plan on doing my part. We've seen the results of the free sex revolution, and it has been a disaster. I vote that we try something else.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #173

    Nov 16, 2018, 08:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jlisenbe View Post
    You are the parenting expert on this board. Maybe it's time for you to start saying it. Women need to take charge of their own lives. It's just amazing to me that I'm the one championing the cause of strong women here. I will grant you that it will take a moral revolution to see this happen, but I plan on doing my part. We've seen the results of the free sex revolution, and it has been a disaster. I vote that we try something else.
    Did you always quit when a girl said no? If you did, you were a rare bird. In order to take charge of our own lives: no more dating. Perhaps the Indians have the best solution with arranged marriages. Also, we will have to be very careful what we wear, how we fix our hair, and what we say so we don't encourage lust in a guy's heart. (Btw, you're missing the sarcasm font in much of my posts here.)

    Okay, now please tell me how women should take charge of their own lives.
    jlisenbe's Avatar
    jlisenbe Posts: 5,019, Reputation: 157
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    #174

    Nov 17, 2018, 05:28 AM
    Yes, I always quit when a girl said no. I imagine the great majority of men do, even in this sick age in which we live.

    How do women take charge of their lives? Get an education, learn to take care of yourself, set some standards, and don't consider yourself to be a poor little ole female that needs some big man to take care of her. Don't follow our sick culture. Above all else, commit your life to Christ and trust Him to guide you. When you marry, marry a man you love but also a man you can respect and trust. Have sex after marriage, not before.

    How do you propose that women take charge of their own lives?
    paraclete's Avatar
    paraclete Posts: 2,706, Reputation: 173
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    #175

    Nov 17, 2018, 10:47 PM
    Where did you get this idea men are monsters? I know your society is skewed towards thinking sex is a right, but this isn't so in many societies.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #176

    Nov 18, 2018, 10:03 AM
    Women are already getting educations, good jobs, and taking charge of their lives, and that will only continue despite the oppositions and challenges. It's a process long overdue, but many have not advance to such levels and are caught in that empowerment transition thing and need assistance to achieve it. That small group that conservatives bad mouth and seek to further disenfranchise and hold back is exactly the problem. There are already many restrictions on that assistance, having been around many that have gone through that process, and childcare being the greatest challenge, with conservatives refusing to step up.

    In America sex between consenting adults is really nobody's business but theirs. Some people unfortunately cannot mind their own business. Monstrous behavior is not limited to men as woman are as capable of such behavior too, but as women become more empowered, men will be less likely to victimize them.

    So Clete some men are monsters to that extent, and should not be ignored or supported, or further enabled.
    jlisenbe's Avatar
    jlisenbe Posts: 5,019, Reputation: 157
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    #177

    Nov 18, 2018, 01:17 PM
    In America sex between consenting adults is really nobody's business but theirs.
    That's certainly true, but if a woman becomes pregnant, then it becomes an issue between the father, her unborn child, and her. If she expects someone else (the taxpayer) to support her financially, then it becomes everyone's business who is one of those taxpayers.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #178

    Nov 18, 2018, 02:44 PM
    No it doesn't. It's not even the welfare departments. The issue is does she/he need help and how much, and why.
    jlisenbe's Avatar
    jlisenbe Posts: 5,019, Reputation: 157
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    #179

    Nov 18, 2018, 04:08 PM
    The issue is does she/he need help and how much, and why.
    That's the kind of thinking that has put us 21 trillion in debt. If you want to support her, then go for it, but if you want others to support her, then it becomes their business. How the feds spend my money is very much my business.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #180

    Nov 18, 2018, 04:40 PM
    Seems like the only solution is vasectomies for all prepubescent males.

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