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b-e-z · Apr 18, 2007, 08:01 AM

I just wanted to know if I was wrong in the sense of dating a guy 7yrs older than me.
Which I am only 17, but I live on my own and very mature for my age. And I we actually want to have a baby together. But I just need to know if I was wrong about this issue??

robertsqueen · Apr 18, 2007, 08:08 AM

So the guy is twenty-three or twenty-four. You may be mature and livng on your own. But are you really ready for a baby? I think that you might still want to sow your wild oats before you think about having a baby. If the guy is right and the relationship is strong then it can take you waiting for a baby right? What are the reasons you want to have a baby? Are you finacially stable for a baby?

ScottGem · Apr 18, 2007, 08:37 AM

I wouldn't say wrong, but I would definitely be cautious. You are really too young to have a baby. I suspect, since you are on your own at 17, that you are trying to replace the family life you lost and this is more of a factor, then your attraction to this guy.

I really think you should wait a couple of years.

excon · Apr 18, 2007, 08:42 AM

Hello b:

This is the law board. It ain't illegal. I'm not your father.

excon

AngelicParadox · Apr 20, 2007, 07:14 PM

Not exactly sure why this is posted on the law board but this is my take:

Number one, MOST 17 year olds feel they are mature for their age. Being self sufficient vs. being mature are two entirely different things. The fact is, that most people under the age of 25 (and many times way over 25) are very unsure of where their lives are going or where they will end up. Having a baby is one HUGE responsibility. Are you ready to pay $400 a month or more for daycare? Will the two of you have enough money coming in to pay for diapers, formula, and all of the other accessories that come along with a baby? If you answer no to any of these questions, then there is your answer!

You DO understand that your life as you know it will change forever, and not always for the best. Even the most responsible man can surprise you. Neither of you will quite understand the sacrifices you will make until you have a child, and unfortuneately these sacrifices are not so romantic after a while. You will eventually miss your former lifestyle because at such a young age, you will have never had an adequate time to experience them.

I do however urge you to take into consideration every case scenario if you decide to have a baby. If the relationship fails, are you ready to raise a child on your own? Support the child on your own in the case that the father bails on you and it takes you years of chasing him down for child support? Making it on your own is one thing. But are you in the position to raise that child on your own if neeed be?

Good Luck

Fr_Chuck · Apr 20, 2007, 07:25 PM

Assuming you are of legal age where you live, legally there is no problem.

I have to ask about living on your own, since in the US, you can not sign a contact, which includes renting an apartment, getting your electric turned on and so till you are 18 or unless you are emancipated legally thought he court. So how exactly you are living on your own is a "legal" question.

For the moral or relationship side, the age difference is not that much, I would not have a second thought if you were 20 and a lot more mature
But for the baby, no you want to wait, let your relationship grow more together as a couple,