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    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #21

    Nov 5, 2017, 09:04 PM
    You ALWAYS have other choices in this world... you want to be careful which ones you make because today's choices can effect tomorrows opportunities... or lack thereof in the case of poor choices. Thats how life works. Stupid stuff today may mean you work at Walmart or fast food rather than a good paying job tomorrow.

    By making GOOD decisions...you can limit the damage you do to your own future...
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #22

    Nov 5, 2017, 09:19 PM
    Does your dad beat you as well? Has your mom ever called the cops on your dad? Sadly you mom has choices too, and she can choose to call the cops, leave, or live with the beatings. She's made her choice, but her choice doesn't have to be yours.

    For now you have to live with your parents, or if you're living in an abusive situation you call the cops or CPS and report your dad and hope you're placed in a good foster home. But until you're 18 you're stuck living with adults, be it your parents or a foster family. Until then you have to follow their rules and frankly, running away and living in a tent is not going to help your situation at all. Neither is failing school, and doing whatever else you're doing that has the school calling home.

    You have one job right now, and that's to go to school, get good grades, and then find a job where you can support yourself so that you can get out of your house and away from your abusive father. No one else can do that for you, only you can, and right now the choices you're making aren't leading to you being able to leave any time soon, so it's time to smarten up and make better choices.

    We all have choices, we all have opportunities, but they're not handed to you, you have to work for them. Sitting in a tent hiding away from the world is not going to get you any opportunities, so face your fears, expect your dad to be mad because any parent would be with all the crap you've pulled, and then move on and make better decisisions in the future.
    Fifi9999's Avatar
    Fifi9999 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #23

    Nov 5, 2017, 09:28 PM
    My dad has beat me before and he wasn't even as mad as he is now. My mum never rings the police she just says he don't mean too hurt us. I understand its best to go home except my punishment I do its just not easy to make myself do it. I have text him to say I'm sorry I'm coming home so thanks for talking to me.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #24

    Nov 5, 2017, 09:36 PM
    Please let us know how it goes and keep us posted on how you're doing. If you ever need to talk that's what we're here for. You may get some tough love but it's only because we do care what happens. I am worried about your dads abuse and would like you to have someone go with you when you go home tomorrow, please look into making that happen so that you'll be safe. You do desereve to be punished but no one deserves to be beaten.
    Fifi9999's Avatar
    Fifi9999 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #25

    Nov 5, 2017, 09:50 PM
    I don't think taking someone home with me would be such a good idea I really don't want anyone to know what goes on at home that's why I was trying so hard to get my teachers to leave it alone I know they are worried but it makes things worse. Writing fake note not my best idea but I tried now your right I shall face the consequences I have finished packing my stuff away and will go home now I cant wait anymore if that's what I have to do I'm going to get it over with. Much thanks for talking to me
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #26

    Nov 6, 2017, 05:40 AM
    "Now I'm not so sure maybe I have made this all worse." Nooooo. You think?

    Bad decision after bad decision will always lead to bad consequences. You, and ONLY YOU, have chosen a path that hopefully will lead to you getting in trouble. After getting in trouble maybe then you will see that only you determines what decisions you will make. Good choices lead to good things happening. But honestly when you do make a bad choice, deal with it. Don't keep adding bad decision after bad decision.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #27

    Nov 6, 2017, 06:30 AM
    If it is all that you say, then go get your mother and drag her to the nearest shelter with you, and both of you report the drunken beatings.
    If she won't go, tell her you ran away because your father gets violent against her, and you.
    She needs to see that her behavior affects yours.

    We can hopefully help you through the steps as they unfold.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #28

    Nov 6, 2017, 07:20 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fifi9999 View Post
    I don't think taking someone home with me would be such a good idea I really don't want anyone to know what goes on at home that's why I was trying so hard to get my teachers to leave it alone I know they are worried but it makes things worse. Writing fake note not my best idea but I tried now your right I shall face the consequences I have finished packing my stuff away and will go home now I cant wait anymore if that's what I have to do I'm going to get it over with. Much thanks for talking to me
    I am glad you have decided to go home, but I think NOT letting someone trusted and respected know what's going on with YOU at your home is another very bad decision, and will NOT help things get better at all. It let's things get WORSE.

    Silence solves nothing as you have surely seen first hand up until now, and running from it does make it worse. There can be no change for the better until you get HONEST about the problem. Nobody gets the right help unless you are honest about why you did what you did, which is a classic call for help by an overwhelmed helpless teenager.

    Start just telling the truth
    . Please consider my suggestion, because I think you want better for you AND your family, and that can only start with you being HONEST, and telling the TRUTH as you have TRIED to do here. Lying, deceiving, and running away was hard, and telling the truth will be MUCH harder for you I know, but it's the right thing to do to get the right help to make things better.

    Good luck, you are not a bad kid, or a brat, just MISGUIDED right now. You must trust someone with the TRUTH.
    Fifi9999's Avatar
    Fifi9999 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #29

    Nov 6, 2017, 01:50 PM
    So many decisions choices to make what's right what's wrong very overwhelming. On here was the first time I've ever mentioned what my dad is like. That was hard but easier no one knows who I am no consequences from that. Out here its different I tell one person and things will be worse. I can just try really hard to change at school and get my grades up and do my homework at lunch or something.

    As much as I hate my dad right now I don't want to get him in trouble.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #30

    Nov 6, 2017, 03:23 PM
    Oh kiddo, I wish I could be there for you in person and just give some support. I understand not wanting to tell anyone, and I understand it's hard, but things won't change at home until you get some help. I won't lie, when you do tell (I said when because I think you're getting to the point of enough is enough) it won't be easy. Things might even be worse for a while, but then they will get better for you, your mom and your dad too. Your dad needs as much help as you and your mom. He has a drinking problem and he's an abuser. He can get help but he won't ask for it himself, someone else has to start the process.

    Please keep us posted. I wish we could offer more than just words, but sadly that's what we're limited to. Let us know how you're doing so we know that you're safe. Okay?
    Fifi9999's Avatar
    Fifi9999 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #31

    Nov 6, 2017, 04:53 PM
    I don't want to be taken away from my parents. I know that's what will happen I seen it happen before. I don't want to go to a group home or foster care or whatever it is they take you. I really don't want to find out if my mum will leave or let me be taken away. I won't leave her and if tell I have no choice.

    I don't like listening to my dad hurt my mum all the screaming and yelling its hard to sit in my room and do nothing. I try to stop him but he a lot bigger than me and mum says it just makes it worse.

    I do have a choice to make and I feel extreamly selfish only thinking about myself. Maybe when I'm able to go to school I will talk to someone.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #32

    Nov 6, 2017, 05:11 PM
    Do you have grandparents, Aunts or Uncles living nearby? Do they know what's going on? Would you be willing to tell them and see if they'll help, maybe even take you and your mom in and get your dad in rehab and anger management?

    Bottom line is your dad needs help getting over his alcohol addiction, and it is very much a disease. If he had cancer you'd want him to get treatment, right? Well it's the same with alcoholism, it's a disease and there is treatment available.

    I'm talking about telling someone because I know that in the long run it would be the best for you, your mom and also your dad. Living like this is hell for all three of you.
    Fifi9999's Avatar
    Fifi9999 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #33

    Nov 23, 2017, 01:58 PM
    My dad was beating on my mum pretty bad last night, I couldn't just sit in my room and listen. Anyway I tried to stop him and got a few hits in the face. I thought I had covered it pretty well with makeup but obviously not good enough one of my teachers asked me about the bruises on my face. I told her the ball smacked me in the face playing netball. I thought she believed me but now I've been called to the svhool counsellors office. I'm freaking out I'm just hiding in toilets at the moment. I don't know what to do I really want to just leave but that might make things worse.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #34

    Nov 23, 2017, 07:18 PM
    Kiddo, your dad is an abusive alcoholic, and sooner or later someone is going to notice and call the proper authorities. You can't hide it forever, and you shouldn't. I'm sorry, but I can't tell you how to hide it, and I won't, because I really think your family needs help and they won't get it until someone stands up and says something.

    I'm so sorry you got hurt. I really hope the teacher follows through and you can finally get some help dealing with this.

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