[ZCR]

I've moved to a new city as a grad in a different country - the same one as my last ex.
(And the same college and course as him: don't ask. Things went awry 5-6 months ago and I decided to continue my education at said uni regardless because they have amazing faculty and curriculum for my program.

The last 2 weeks have been more difficult than I expected. I've been meeting new people and the night before last, I knocked nack one too many beers and kind of made out with a friend's roommate. Last night we had all gone to a college fest of sorts (classes haven't started yet) and I decided to crash at their place again because it was too late at night.

I got tipsy on wine and ended up in his room and we had a mega embarrassing discussion over why we should have sex without consequences... till he declared that the previous night was a one time thing and that he doesn't like me or want to have sex with me.

So there I was, red-faced with all the wine and embarrassment. And not quite fully clothed.

I made such an of myself and I don't know how, if ever, to hold a conversation with this guy again.

The one time I decided to make a move, it backfired so beautifully they should hang it in the Wall of Fame for shame.

I'm beyond mortified and do not know what to think or do... I've been single for a short while and this razed any kunce of confidence I may have built up.

I want to disappear in a corner and never come out again.

I know my behaviour wasn't exactly exemplary but I don't know what to do.

[talaniman]

I would say if you stop drinking you won't get into these embarrassing drunken situations, and can make much better decisions while you focus on the reason you are at this school in the first place. It will also help your confidence and self esteem to be sober and away from the party drinkers, and find different friends who have healthier habits besides late night drinking and makeout hook ups.

People make mistakes especially around alcohol fueled erratic behavior. Will you learn from yours and do better? Completely up to you. Stay single until you get your crap together, by doing the important stuff, and leaving the trivial shat alone. I have been reading your posts long enough to figure out you have yet to deal with the root cause of your REAL ISSUES, and drinking and drugging makes it worse.

A lesson you should have learned a while ago. Get help if you need it, because you need support and guidance, and have never gotten it.

[Oliver2011]

We have all made a buttocks out of ourselves at one time or another. When that happens it is a very big deal in our own minds. To someone else probably not such a big deal. This guy used you for his own physical gratification and has moved on. So you should as well. I am not big on beating yourself up because you may not have made the best choices, especially if you learn from what happened. We need life experiences to help us make better choices. So this guy isn't into you, so what? Move on by starting the next chapter.

[I wish]

Definitely keep alcohol out of your life.

I would suggest doing some volunteering and giving back to the community, as well as build a new network of people around yourself instead.

Sometimes a fresh (sober) start is a better way to go!

[joypulv]

Going back over 5 years of your posts, I am reminded of a frequent topic I bring up with women, because I am a woman too, and know this all too well - YOU CAN BE A WHOLE PERSON WITHOUT A MAN.
When that really sinks in, which might take years, you will have much much better relationships with men.
I'm not talking about being adamantly single your whole life. I'm talking about having a life of your own, with romances and long term relationships happy accidents, until the day when you really click with someone for life. People who are secure within themselves are actually more attractive, of course.
You are fortunate that you have good academics to help you pursue a career. Put your efforts there.
We all need something within ourselves to fall back on when we do something stupid.

You seem to be a contradictory mixture of not trusting and overly trusting. Work on that. Drop all the stuff about how you have been burned. We allow ourselves to get burned.
And use your intelligence on your own situations. You spent all your time telling this story, and no time on what it all means. Who cares how you happened to end up in this guy's room or even what he said. You are just indulging yourself in how mortified you are and how much your confidence is eroded. Confidence transcends moments like this one. Confidence doesn't come from talking yourself into it. It comes from having a life of your own.

As my good friend (who happens to be a psychologist) said to me years ago after my husband dumped me, ''Joy, you're so depressed you aren't even putting yourself down.''
You are putting yourself down, telling your embarrassing story.
WHEN WE PUT OURSELVES DOWN, WE ARE REALLY ASKING FOR PROTEST, PITY, CODDLING, AND ASSURANCE THAT WE DON'T DESERVE IT.
Please etch that on your brain.
Work on that life of your own.

[smoothy]

Alcohol (followed by drugs) are two biggest reasons of stupid actions among youth... (ahead of inexperience, commonly called youthful stupidity).

Want to see my point... attend a party with your friends but AVOID alcohol or any of the "party favors".. watch how people act more stupid as the party progresses. Yep, you was doing what they were doing too.

If you don't end up with Herpes, HPV, AIDS, or other STD, or Pregnant... consider yourself lucky.

Seek happiness on your own... someone else won't magically bestow it on you for more than a few moments, if you aren't happy on your own, you won't be happy with someone else either long term, and avoid the mind altering substances... they don't do it either, they only make the problems worse.