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    Audrey Woods's Avatar
    Audrey Woods Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 14, 2017, 05:26 AM
    Children sleeping with opposing sex parent
    My husband thinks it OK for his 33 year old daughter to sleep in the bed with him. We had company over and she could have slept on the couch
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #2

    Mar 14, 2017, 06:16 AM
    There's a ton of background missing for anyone to make a statement on this. What is perfectly fine and innocent to some might not be fine to others.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Mar 14, 2017, 08:02 AM
    If the daughter and father have no problem with this arrangement, how is it anybody else's business? Where did you sleep?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #4

    Mar 14, 2017, 03:05 PM
    Agree.. there is a LOT going on here we aren't told. Adults can share a bed in a pinch WITHOUT anything going on... happens all over the world.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    Mar 14, 2017, 06:50 PM
    Agreed, it sounds like she was to share the bed with YOU and your husband ? Or where was you.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Mar 15, 2017, 01:32 AM
    I agree with the others. I don't see the big deal, and I have to ask, what in your past, or your thinking, automatically makes this a big deal for you?

    I have a male friend, one of my best friends, he comes over to our house often, and is also good friends with my husband. A few years ago we had a huge get together and a few of the people that attended were a good hour drive from home, and so instead of driving home at 3am when everyone had been drinking, they stayed over. Now we don't have a large house, no spare bedroom, so we did the best we could. My kids bunked together, we put one person in my daughters room (she had and still has a single bed so only one adult would fit), a few people on couches, and two on the floor on blankets, and my friend, my male friend, slept with my husband and me. Ya, it was a bit awkward because they're both bed hogs and they both snore, and I really wanted to smother them both a few times during the night, but all we did was sleep. That was the only reason we were all in bed together.

    My husband had a harder time with it, mainly because he needs his space. We have a king size bed and even just him and me he feels crowded. So sometime before morning he got up and went to the garage to watch TV, so it was just me and our mutual male friend in our bed, and not one person thought anything strange about it, because all we did was sleep! That was the purpose of sharing a bed, and the only purpose. I will say, I will never do it again, unless I have earplugs because that man snores loud enough to wake the dead!

    I never found it odd when adults slept together in the same bed just to sleep. In many countries families live together even after the adult child is married, and they often share beds, because they can't afford a house large enough to accommodate everyone.

    It's not sexual, it's just sleep.

    So I think the main question is why you're uncomfortable with it.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #7

    Mar 15, 2017, 02:13 PM
    I agree with all responses above.
    I also see nothing 'wrong' with asking for advice about this.
    A lot is how we were raised ourselves.
    When something like this comes up, I ask myself how most of the world would answer? Most of the world doesn't have the luxuries of big beds and a bedroom for everyone. Whole families sleep in groups of all configurations.
    The times many people think twice is when a new marriage has created stepfamilies, when the familiarity of lifetimes isn't present.
    ChloeMom's Avatar
    ChloeMom Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Jan 24, 2018, 05:05 PM
    I think this sets up conflicts within the family & distrust: what about the mother? Where is 33-yr-old daughter's children/mate, if any? So many angles. In my own opinion, this is inappropriate.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #9

    Jan 24, 2018, 06:01 PM
    ChloeMom, welcome. Try to answer posts that are within the last few weeks, unless it's a real 'how to' or a fact someone is searching for.
    This person is probably all settled by now, and not even seeing your response.

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