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jheep · Oct 8, 2016, 04:04 AM

I was asked by a politician to look for a lawyer to help a local constituent (LC) from out of town. I spoke with the LC on the phone and said that we'll try to help. The LC probably thought that I can help. We had two prospects earlier, but it didn't pan out. I told the LC that we'll keep on looking but we couldn't help at this time.

The LC kept messaging and contacting me and I told her the same thing. I advised her of other options but she said that she doesn't trust the others and that there's a conspiracy against her. She seemed paranoid.

Now I get a message from the LC's sibling asking why we had forsaken the LC. The message said that the LC committed suicide and is now in the hospital, not sure if she'll make it.

I'm deeply bothered. What should I do? Did I do anything wrong?

smoothy · Oct 8, 2016, 06:23 AM

#1. They only "ATTEMPTED" to commit suicide. They would be dead if they actually did it.

#2. It's not paranoia if someone really is out to get you, and that remains to be proven.

#3. At least in the USA, an adult can't be forced into treatment unless they have been proven to be a threat against themselves or others to the court.

#4. YOU did nothing wrong.

joypulv · Oct 8, 2016, 11:25 AM

What is your role in this? Employee or volunteer?

The details about the woman and what her needs/wishes are are far too vague, and it isn't worth asking you to provide them. And it was EXTREMELY unfair of the sibling to blame you for anything. I would hand this in it's entirety back to the politician and suggest that he give it to the town legal dept, just in case someone decides to sue. Make it clear in writing that you will not go near it again. Block your contact information.

Alty · Oct 8, 2016, 01:35 PM

You tried to help, you couldn't help, and she decided to try and end things. That's not your fault.

You gave her other options, she didn't want them. She's the one that decided to try and end her life. The only person to blame for her attempted suicide is herself. Do not let the family put a guilt trip on you when all you did was try to help her.

Sounds to me like they're feeling guilt for not doing more for her, and now they're trying to put the blame on someone else.

jheep · Oct 8, 2016, 07:06 PM

Thank you all for answering. @joypulv, volunteer. She wanted a free lawyer to defend her in out of town criminal cases which she said were orchestrated by the town mayor with whom she had a previous personal relationship, but now things went sour.

I can't sleep and get this off my mind. At the same time, I feel like I'm being manipulated.

smoothy · Oct 9, 2016, 10:24 AM

Don't take it personal... if they are expecting extensive "FREE" representation... and then the finger pointing starts... makes me think this family is one that feels entitled to things over and above what they worked for and earned. It wasn't mentioned that this was actually a public defender they qualified for. I've known enough people like that in my life I can say if it wasn't this it would be something else.

There is an old axiom here that applies. "No good deed goes unpunished".

talaniman · Oct 9, 2016, 11:59 AM

Why are you feeling guilty for trying to help a deeply troubled individual who REJECTED the help you attempted to give? Doesn't matter what anyone says after the fact, and under duress I might add. Lose the guilt and stay away from these screwballs.

DoulaLC · Oct 9, 2016, 12:53 PM

Another consideration: it can be common for individuals to feel their own sense of guilt in these types of situations, and feel the need to place blame elsewhere in an attempt to try and deal with that guilt.

This may be what the sibling is doing... whether knowingly or not.

As was said, you have no fault in this... I wish you well.