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BRIDE2B · Apr 14, 2007, 09:11 PM

My fiancé and I are planning and paying for our own wedding. We are on a very tight budget, so we decided to limit the number of people who come to the reception. We have talked about leaving the church open to a larger number of people. Is it OK to invite people to the church and not to the reception?:confused:

Clough · Apr 14, 2007, 10:00 PM

Perhaps only invite adults to the reception?

Please see the following site. It may be of help to you. I hope that it is.

Wedaholic.com: How To Invite Children To The Wedding Ceremony Only

advicecritic · Apr 16, 2007, 11:38 AM

I don't think that is fair. Everyone that comes to see you exchange your vows, is or should be allowed to attend the after party. Unless you don't want children there, that is fine. A lot of people do that now a days. But, if you are strapped for cash then you just need to invite only those whom you are close to.

BRIDE2B · Apr 16, 2007, 05:41 PM

Originally Posted by Clough

Perhaps only invite adults to the reception?

Please see the following site. It may be of help to you. I hope that it is.

Wedaholic.com: How To Invite Children To The Wedding Ceremony Only

That is a great suggestion. With the number of children in the two families that should lower our numbers a great deal. Thanks for the website I will check it out:)

BRIDE2B · Apr 16, 2007, 05:45 PM

Originally Posted by advicecritic

I don't think that is fair. everyone that comes to see you exchange your vows, is or should be allowed to attend the after party. Unless you don't want children there, that is fine. Alot of people do that now a days. But, if you are strapped for cash then you just need to invite only those whom you are close to.

I just wanted to give everyone a chance to have some part in our big day. I didn't want to offend anyone by not being able to invite them. I guess I can't please all the people all the time. Thanks:rolleyes:

Parajr · Apr 16, 2007, 05:58 PM

I would not do it that way, but there are two ways to look at this. The wedding is only one day, the marriage is hopefully a lifetime. If your wife 2B is a type of woman that always dreamed of a wedding you can't rob her of that. Because she is more improtant than everone else that will be offended then do it the way that you speak of. If she trusts you enough to know that when things are better you will give her the wedding that she deservs then cut back on the wedding cost and invest the money into a bigger reception. Please rate this answer helpful or not

BRIDE2B · Apr 16, 2007, 06:35 PM

Originally Posted by Parajr

I would not do it that way, but there are two ways to look at this. The wedding is only one day, the marriage is hopefully a lifetime. If your wife 2B is a type of woman that always dreamed of a wedding you can't rob her of that. Because she is more improtant than everone else that will be offended then do it the way that you speak of. If she trusts you enough to know that when things are better you will give her the wedding that she deservs then cut back on the wedding cost and invest hte money into a bigger reception. Please rate this answer helpful or not

I am the bride. We found that the wedding wasn't where the money added up, it is the reception. The per person count adds up so quickly, especially if you factor in children and boyfriends/girlfriends of invited guest. Some people just have to go:(

NowWhat · Apr 17, 2007, 10:12 AM

Normally, not all that are invited will show. I think it's like 75% will show.

NowWhat · Apr 17, 2007, 11:26 AM

When planning a reception on a budget - the best advice I can give you is - when planning - decide what is really important. For me, I could have gotten an ice sculpture or shrimp. I opted for shrimp because it would be more enjoyable.
I would start with making a list of what you really want and then see what can be done either by a company or by yourself.
We made our own rice bags - it was a PAIN IN THE BUTT - but, it saved some money.
There are ways around some things.
You really learn how to be creative when you are on a tight budget.

BRIDE2B · Apr 17, 2007, 11:44 AM

Originally Posted by NowWhat

When planning a reception on a budget - the best advice I can give you is - when planning - decide what is really important. For me, I could of gotten an ice sculpture or shrimp. I opted for shrimp because it would be more enjoyable.
I would start with making a list of what you really want and then see what can be done either by a company or by yourself.
We made our own rice bags - it was a PAIN IN THE BUTT - but, it saved some money.
There are ways around some things.
You really learn how to be creative when you are on a tight budget.

You are so right! My maid of honor and I found a free flower arranging class, so we can learn how to do the bouquets, centerpieces and other flowers for the day. I'm doing my invitations myself. I was so surprised at the things we would be able to do for ourselves, in order to save money:)

momtofour · Apr 27, 2007, 12:42 PM

No. If they are in the church, they are at the reception.

edmalone · Feb 4, 2008, 10:08 AM

Which parents are responsible for paying for the wedding?

NowWhat · Feb 4, 2008, 07:32 PM

The brides parents - traditionally.

lacuran8626 · Feb 5, 2008, 09:09 PM

You are basically asking if it's OK to divide your family and friends into the A list and the B list which is not at all acceptable. Inevitably someone on the B list will feel they should have been on the A list.

My suggestion - invite people you can invite to the entire celebration, or as another option, scale the wedding itself way back and have a more casual reception later.

I've had friends who have been in the same circumstances for a variety of reasons - not always money. One friend just married quickly because her father was dying and they did not want to wait. They had the ceremony in the home of her brother, and the family all went out to a nice restaurant for dinner, which the groom paid for. I think he said that they had a fixed menu and served wine at the table. Nobody took orders, they just said "red or white". They also offered beer, pop and coffee.

In the summer, they will have a big, casual cookout/picnic with all of their friends and extended family and anyone is welcome. They are getting a keg, and are grilling inexpensive stuff like burgers, brats and hot dogs for the kids and will also have some nicer more sophisticated stuff which they are making themselves. Some of us - their friends - are also bringing stuff.

I should say a lot of us are on our second weddings, or anniversary parties at this point in life so it's hard to say to a younger person to scale back on the big wedding dream. I can honestly tell you though that I had the huge wedding, and in hindsight, I wish I had used that money for investments and just kept things more intimate. If I ever marry again, it's not going to be the big deal... I would keep it simple and special and relaxed so that I can be among the guests as a peer, and not such a point of attention than the entire day escapes me!

Best wishes.

kbear0813 · Mar 6, 2008, 04:00 PM

You absolutely have every right to have a small intimate wedding... but then keep it small and intimate the entire way through... I would be offended invited to the church and not reception as many would... but if it is people of the same parish, the church may announce your wedding in the bulletin, and then they have the oppurtunity to come to see you walk down the aisle...

Becca1025 · Mar 6, 2008, 05:07 PM

My mom is paying for most of our wedding, but she cannot pay for the whole thing. So my fiancé and I are also on a budget especially with a new baby. We picked a country club that is $28 per person for food, servers, bar tender, decorations, the hall, alcohol, ALL for just 28 per person. Everywhere else I checked was $1000 to $2000 just for the hall alone, and then 24 dollars per person and not including decoration, servers or bartender. Try to find a place that will do more then one thing for rather then just pay for the hall and nothing else. If you want to cut back for the caterers cost, just get the food and ask family members or friends to help serve, or have a buffet serve yourself style. Its not as tacky as it sounds, my cousin did that and it came out nice. Try to make your own party favors, I'm making my own invitations and they are coming out very pretty and elegant if I do say so myself, make your own bouqet. There are plenty of books and magazines that show you how. I am making my own and my bridesmaids will do the same. ALl that will cut back on costs tremendously. We've also decided to have a candy bar with a two tier cake. Its cheaper that way then having that huge $1200 cake with all that expensive frosting and designs. Also the rehearsal dinner, we decided we'd have it in a laid back style and bbq chicken and steaks at a close by park. You can also make your own center pieces. My suggestion would be to get a few bridal magazines and get ideas on how to make decorations and centerpieces. It's okay to use things from dollar stores like vases and such. Also try this website, I love it.

Ann's Bridal Bargains

rab5700 · Mar 31, 2008, 10:45 AM

IF it is a good time of year you might want to consider what we are going to do. We decided on an outdoor wedding reception under a tent in our own yard. The meal is a big Bar-B-Q type bash and luckily my step son's band will play for free and my nephew/cook will cater the food. We are paying all the expenses of the band and food etc but all together are doing it for under $2000 and have 85 guess. Making it informal allowed us to invite more people and are looking forward to a real good time.

rab5700 · Apr 2, 2008, 07:06 AM

You are very welcome. To rent the 20 x 40 tent (with set up), tables, chairs, table cloths, port-o-potty, and the BBQ pit came to $1000 where we live in NH so this was a very economical choice compared to a hall and sit down dinner. The food comes out to about $3.50 a person for chicken, burgers, hot dogs, and salads. There will still be other expense but not too many. We also limited the bar to a keg and margaritas or soda. All in all we are keeping it under $2000. Whatever you choose to do, it is your day and you should have what you want and not let others tell you what to do especially if they are not paying the expenses.