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    ravengurl92's Avatar
    ravengurl92 Posts: 301, Reputation: 6
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    #1

    Jul 12, 2016, 04:35 PM
    What should I do about my friend ignoring me?
    My best friend just got a new boyfriend and I feel like she has lost interest in me. Whenever I ask her if she wants to hang out, she is always doing something with him. Sometimes she doesn't answer her phone at all. This is really starting to get on my nerves. I've never had a boyfriend before and I'm sure it's great and everything. But that's no reason to ignore your friends, at least to me it's not. Should I say something to her. I don't want to come off as harsh. But I really miss her and don't know what else to do.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    Jul 12, 2016, 04:48 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ravengurl92 View Post
    My best friend just got a new boyfriend and I feel like she has lost interest in me. Whenever I ask her if she wants to hang out, she is always doing something with him. Sometimes she doesn't answer her phone at all. This is really starting to get on my nerves. I've never had a boyfriend before and I'm sure it's great and everything. But that's no reason to ignore your friends, at least to me it's not. Should I say something to her. I don't want to come off as harsh. But I really miss her and don't know what else to do.
    News flash... Other people have lives. You need to get a life, she did.

    Maybe if you got a boyfriend (or a girlfriend if that's your thing) you might grasp this.

    Seriously, read what you wrote, you sound needy, whiny and clingy and someone that NEEDS to be the center of attention all the time.

    Sorry to be so blunt, but that's EXACTLY how you come across with what you said and how you said it. I think she feels that way too, that's why she ignores you calls, I would.

    How old are both of you anyway? 14? I really hope you aren't an adult thinking that way.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jul 12, 2016, 07:24 PM
    The thing to do is enjoy other thing while your friend is busy enjoying her time with her boyfriend. Smoothy is quite correct pointing out that you may have become needy and that's pretty frustrating, I know, and maybe it was like that before your friend got a boyfriend, and you just never paid attention to it at the time.

    I get she is your best friend but is she your only friend? Give her space and see what happens. Enjoy other people and things.
    ma0641's Avatar
    ma0641 Posts: 15,675, Reputation: 1012
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    #4

    Jul 12, 2016, 07:27 PM
    It's " getting on your nerves "? Apparently you are no longer the BFF. She made a decision, now it's your time to leave her alone and get your own life. You never had a boyfriend? How old are you?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #5

    Jul 12, 2016, 08:03 PM
    Is this the same friend? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...nd-825736.html

    If so, please take a step back and look at why you seem to want to her to live her life by your rules. She is your friend. She is not your child or responsibility. This may seem harsh, but you seem to want to have a say in how she conducts her relationship. That is a great way to make her walk away from the friendship.

    Many times new couples do get wrapped up in each other and want to spend most of their time together. It's normal and a part of building a relationship. Usually after awhile they start giving each other more personal space and spend time doing things on their own. How long it takes for a relationship to reach that point is up to the couple. Having friends, even well meaning ones, try to wedge themselves into the relationship causes frustration, anger, irritation, etc. It can make the couple pull away from the friends. It can even cause them to stop thinking of them friends and start thinking of them as ex-friends or, worse, enemies.

    If you are her friend, you will back off and leave them alone. Let her contact you when she has free time. Call up other friends or make new ones. In other words, live your own life.

    The best thing about friends is that you can be apart for weeks, months, even years and you are still friends when you see each other again.

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