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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #21

    Apr 26, 2016, 06:10 AM
    Well said Cat. Fear of rejection and lack of experience or confidence isn't a cultural thing. It's pretty universal.
    Sean999's Avatar
    Sean999 Posts: 117, Reputation: 1
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    #22

    Apr 26, 2016, 09:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Cat1864 View Post
    Yes, we can understand your feelings. Do you understand your feelings?

    You have been chatting with her for two weeks over Facebook. Now you want to visit her house and her parents without her giving an invitation. Manipulating her into giving one is not the same as her freely inviting you. That is essentially wanting to invade her personal space. The only place she has to retreat to when she isn't performing or subject to people recognizing her and bothering her. It isn't the place for 'fans'.

    If you want to be her friend, continue chatting. Get to know her as an individual. Make certain you aren't confusing a public persona/image with who she really is. Many public figures especially singers and actors are very different people at home than they portray when out in the public eye. She needs people in her life who are willing to allow her to be herself instead of wanting her to be a fantasy based on a public image.

    It is not fair to her if you are pursuing a fantasy and cannot accept the real person.

    Next caution, are you certain you are chatting with the person you think you are? It is not uncommon for someone to pretend to be someone else on Fb. Some even use a friend/family member's Fb page and pretend to be that person.

    Having read many posts over the years from people all over the globe who thought they were falling for or in love with a person they had very limited contact with, I am going to say that you should not ask her out if you cannot take 'no' for an answer. If you think your life is going to be over just because she said 'no', take a step back. Get your emotions and yourself under control. Too often people forget that the other person may not share their feelings. Don't get so caught up in yours, that you forget hers.


    Thank you for your ideas. I feel that I get ideas from my close friend. I am really appreciated it. And I feel that you a little worried about me. Thank you again. I haven't tried yet some of the steps that you said. So, I need times to do this. I will try to get the real person of her. I am bad in emotion management. However, I will never give up. I can wait, I can learn more ideas and I will take more times. But Give up is not my subject. I found many things that I didn't think in your answer. I will consider about it.
    Thank you.

    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    J_9 meant 'invited,' not visited.
    Western, eastern, you don't go to anyone's home without permission. It is OK to ask, but most of us think that is setting yourself up for a big fat no. If you ask in a way that includes her parents as an important reason for invading her privacy, then maybe that is a cultural difference that is acceptable.

    Haha, I don't want to invade. OK. I will forget about visiting her home but not her. I will try another ways. Thank you.
    Sean999's Avatar
    Sean999 Posts: 117, Reputation: 1
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    #23

    Apr 26, 2016, 09:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Culture has little to do with understanding feelings between man and woman so go ahead try what you feel is best for you. It's your chance to dance so just do it.

    Everybody here is from a western culture dude. We don't get love through parents first, but if you think it best then go for it and get about it. May as well tell you straight though guy you are about talking rather than doing so who are you trying to convince that you need to do something about those feelings besides TALK?

    I know for fact that many guys in your culture would have already asked her for her time while you dither around. Why not just talk to her parents instead of her?

    When I tried my former girlfriend, I thought nothing and just did it. Now I get a little fear because she is a celebrity.
    I think that my thinking make a little bother to you. If like that, sorry about it. Your saying is effective. Its make my thinking clear. So now I don't say any other things. I just focus on getting the date with her and for the place, let her choose. OK? Thank you.

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