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    Sean999's Avatar
    Sean999 Posts: 117, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 25, 2016, 03:36 AM
    Date with a celebrity
    I am now interested in a celebrity. I wish to get relationship (at least close friend) with her. She is still new entertainer and start to have popularity. If I request her to visit her home, is it OK? I am planned to give some presents and do conversation. Is there chances to OK? Please give advice to me.

    Thank you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Apr 25, 2016, 03:48 AM
    Talk to her, see what she says. Do you know each other on some social level?
    Sean999's Avatar
    Sean999 Posts: 117, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 25, 2016, 03:59 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Talk to her, see what she says. Do you know each other on some social level?

    We have Facebook contact. But I am afraid that she will think it is not good( like rude) to her and no acceptance. However, I will try it. One way is better than no way. Right?

    Thank you for your answer.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Apr 25, 2016, 04:28 AM
    The custom is for a date, or some type of meeting in person (coffee?), before you ask to come to her home.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #5

    Apr 25, 2016, 04:36 AM
    All you have is a Facebook contact... nothing more. MILLIONS of people have that much with people they will never meet.

    I suggest forgetting this one and find someone local to you that you actually would have a chance with.
    Sean999's Avatar
    Sean999 Posts: 117, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Apr 25, 2016, 04:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    All you have is a Facebook contact... nothing more. MILLIONS of people have that much with people they will never meet.

    I suggest forgetting this one and find someone local to you that you actually would have a chance with.

    We are in same city. Is it worth to try it? I don't want to satisfy with just Facebook.

    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    The custom is for a date, or some type of meeting in person (coffee?), before you ask to come to her home.

    OK. I will try. Thank you.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #7

    Apr 25, 2016, 08:31 AM
    Worth a try... yes if you are willing to walk away if you get shot down at first.

    Point I was getting at I forgot to mention in my previous post is it's a long shot, a real long shot. Don't get your hopes up too much because you are most likely setting yourself up for a letdown.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #8

    Apr 25, 2016, 10:19 AM
    Have you had private conversations with her? Have you even been friended? If the answer is no to either of the above, then you are just a fan and probably have no chance.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #9

    Apr 25, 2016, 10:57 AM
    If her Facebook page is set to not accept messages, don't try.
    If you are a Follower but not Friend, REALLY give up!
    Even if she isn't well known yet, chances are she is scared of requests from strangers, as she should be.
    There is NO WAY she can know that you are a nice guy, no matter what you say.
    Sean999's Avatar
    Sean999 Posts: 117, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Apr 25, 2016, 08:46 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    Have you had private conversations with her? Have you even been friended? If the answer is no to either of the above, then you are just a fan and probably have no chance.

    We have private chatting but not oral speaking. And we are just like Facebook friend.

    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    If her Facebook page is set to not accept messages, don't try.
    If you are a Follower but not Friend, REALLY give up!
    Even if she isn't well known yet, chances are she is scared of requests from strangers, as she should be.
    There is NO WAY she can know that you are a nice guy, no matter what you say.

    As she is still becoming famous, she have private account. I contact with her through this account. We chatted for about 2 weeks. She don't know me at outside. Because of your saying, I am a little confused am I should start or not? Please tell me more detail. THank you.

    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    Worth a try... yes if you are willing to walk away if you get shot down at first.

    Point I was getting at I forgot to mention in my previous post is it's a long shot, a real long shot. Don't get your hopes up too much because you are most likely setting yourself up for a letdown.
    OK. I will try what you said.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #11

    Apr 25, 2016, 09:00 PM
    Do not request a visit to her home. That is creepy ans stalkerish. Ask her out for a cup of coffee, or a walk in the park.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #12

    Apr 25, 2016, 09:02 PM
    You will never know what the outcome will be unless you give it a try.
    Sean999's Avatar
    Sean999 Posts: 117, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Apr 25, 2016, 09:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    You will never know what the outcome will be unless you give it a try.

    I need ideas and strategy. According to your saying, I don't need to ask anymore. Thank you.

    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    Do not request a visit to her home. That is creepy ans stalkerish. Ask her out for a cup of coffee, or a walk in the park.

    Creepy? I don't think so. Can a girl willing to date with someone that she never met at outside? I think that it is more difficult. I am trying to go to her home as her fan and greet with her family. I want to say that is my strategy. Is it good?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #14

    Apr 26, 2016, 02:41 AM
    Yes. Creepy. A man waits until he is visited to the woman's home.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #15

    Apr 26, 2016, 03:55 AM
    You never asked a girl out before? You just ask her.

    I am trying to go to her home as her fan and greet with her family. I want to say that is my strategy. Is it good?
    LOUSY idea! Send some flowers after her next gig, see what happens. Show your interest and see what she does about it. You have been talking over Facebook for two weeks, how much more opportunity do you need?
    Sean999's Avatar
    Sean999 Posts: 117, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Apr 26, 2016, 04:06 AM
    Thank you for your ideas. But I realize that we have culture difference. You can't understand my feelings. You are from western. Right? However, thanks for your time.

    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    You never asked a girl out before? You just ask her.



    LOUSY idea! Send some flowers after her next gig, see what happens. Show your interest and see what she does about it. You have been talking over Facebook for two weeks, how much more opportunity do you need?

    Thank you for your ideas. But I realize that we have culture difference. You can't understand my feelings. You are from western. Right? However, thanks for your time.

    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    Yes. Creepy. A man waits until he is visited to the woman's home.

    I don't understand your usage. Wait for what?
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #17

    Apr 26, 2016, 04:24 AM
    J_9 meant 'invited,' not visited.
    Western, eastern, you don't go to anyone's home without permission. It is OK to ask, but most of us think that is setting yourself up for a big fat no. If you ask in a way that includes her parents as an important reason for invading her privacy, then maybe that is a cultural difference that is acceptable.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #18

    Apr 26, 2016, 04:43 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Sean999 View Post
    We have private chatting but not oral speaking. And we are just like Facebook friend.

    As she is still becoming famous, she have private account. I contact with her through this account. We chatted for about 2 weeks. She don't know me at outside. Because of your saying, I am a little confused am I should start or not? Please tell me more detail. THank you.
    OK, so you have privately chatted. Then this becomes simple. You open a chat and you say; "I have greatly enjoyed talking with you and I would like to get to know you better. Can we meet some place for coffee or dinner?'

    If she is agreeable set a time and place. If not, drop it.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #19

    Apr 26, 2016, 05:06 AM
    Thank you for your ideas. But I realize that we have culture difference. You can't understand my feelings. You are from western. Right? However, thanks for your time.
    Culture has little to do with understanding feelings between man and woman so go ahead try what you feel is best for you. It's your chance to dance so just do it.

    Everybody here is from a western culture dude. We don't get love through parents first, but if you think it best then go for it and get about it. May as well tell you straight though guy you are about talking rather than doing so who are you trying to convince that you need to do something about those feelings besides TALK?

    I know for fact that many guys in your culture would have already asked her for her time while you dither around. Why not just talk to her parents instead of her?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #20

    Apr 26, 2016, 05:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Sean999 View Post
    Thank you for your ideas. But I realize that we have culture difference. You can't understand my feelings. You are from western. Right? However, thanks for your time.
    Yes, we can understand your feelings. Do you understand your feelings?

    You have been chatting with her for two weeks over Facebook. Now you want to visit her house and her parents without her giving an invitation. Manipulating her into giving one is not the same as her freely inviting you. That is essentially wanting to invade her personal space. The only place she has to retreat to when she isn't performing or subject to people recognizing her and bothering her. It isn't the place for 'fans'.

    If you want to be her friend, continue chatting. Get to know her as an individual. Make certain you aren't confusing a public persona/image with who she really is. Many public figures especially singers and actors are very different people at home than they portray when out in the public eye. She needs people in her life who are willing to allow her to be herself instead of wanting her to be a fantasy based on a public image.

    It is not fair to her if you are pursuing a fantasy and cannot accept the real person.

    Next caution, are you certain you are chatting with the person you think you are? It is not uncommon for someone to pretend to be someone else on Fb. Some even use a friend/family member's Fb page and pretend to be that person.

    Having read many posts over the years from people all over the globe who thought they were falling for or in love with a person they had very limited contact with, I am going to say that you should not ask her out if you cannot take 'no' for an answer. If you think your life is going to be over just because she said 'no', take a step back. Get your emotions and yourself under control. Too often people forget that the other person may not share their feelings. Don't get so caught up in yours, that you forget hers.

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