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    Chloewilliamsxx's Avatar
    Chloewilliamsxx Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 22, 2016, 11:17 AM
    I don't know what to do with this guy I really like?
    I know this guy from chat. And I really want him to love me, I want to be the one he gets happy when he talks to... But Even though I know he loves me, he tells me to off when we fight and we fight a lot. Last time we fought, I told him not to text me if he's going to say the same things. And now I miss him... I want to fix this but first of all, I don't know if I should stay in some sort of emotionally abusive relationship, and secondly he said my idea of relationship is like a 15 year old, so I don't want to sound needy /childish. What should I do?

    -------------
    Thanks for all the answers....and you're right, It wouldn't lead anywhere. I'll try to end it...
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Mar 22, 2016, 11:50 AM
    This guy is only from chat, no real-life being together? And his and your ages?
    ma0641's Avatar
    ma0641 Posts: 15,675, Reputation: 1012
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    #3

    Mar 22, 2016, 11:51 AM
    "I know this guy from chat". Never met yet "And I really want him to love me". So, you fight all the time(on line), that's really a good start and "he said my idea of relationship is like a 15 year old". At this point, I would have guessed maybe 10 or 12 years old. How do you know this person even exists?
    Chloewilliamsxx's Avatar
    Chloewilliamsxx Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Mar 22, 2016, 12:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    This guy is only from chat, no real-life being together? And his and your ages?
    He lives in a different country. He's 19, I'm 18
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #5

    Mar 22, 2016, 12:11 PM
    How can you fight in chat? About what???
    Chloewilliamsxx's Avatar
    Chloewilliamsxx Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Mar 22, 2016, 12:13 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    How can you fight in chat? About what???
    Our relationship is kind of crazy. He likes me, but we can't actually date, so he also sees other girls. And he gets angry when I bring it up. He also is quite moody. Gets angry quite a lot
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #7

    Mar 22, 2016, 12:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Chloewilliamsxx View Post
    Our relationship is kind of crazy. He likes me, but we can't actually date, so he also sees other girls. And he gets angry when I bring it up. He also is quite moody. Gets angry quite a lot
    So you being only online want to restrict a guy's real-life dating activities? Have you ever Skyped with him? (How can couples date online?)
    Chloewilliamsxx's Avatar
    Chloewilliamsxx Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Mar 22, 2016, 12:26 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    So you being only online want to restrict a guy's real-life dating activities? Have you ever Skyped with him? (How can couples date online?)
    No I don't care about him hanging out with other girls. My problem now is that many misunderstandings lead to a big fight. And now I want him but I can't find a way to text him without feeling annoying
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #9

    Mar 22, 2016, 12:26 PM
    I'm with Wondergirl... you can't really date online... I understand why he's going to date women he can actually go out with.

    Online you are a friend... And expecting to be more is unrealistic.

    I'd suggest you date someone local to you as well. Its healthier for one thing.
    Chloewilliamsxx's Avatar
    Chloewilliamsxx Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Mar 22, 2016, 12:28 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    I'm with Wondergirl... you can't really date online... I understand why he's going to date women he can actually go out with.

    Online you are a friend... And expecting to be more is unrealistic.

    I'd suggest you date someone local to you as well. Its healthier for one thing.
    Yeah... Maybe I should let go...
    Thanks for the answer
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #11

    Mar 22, 2016, 02:12 PM
    Its going to save you a lot of heartache.
    Precious7's Avatar
    Precious7 Posts: 333, Reputation: 61
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    #12

    Mar 22, 2016, 02:24 PM
    Online Dating! Its is kind of unreal. Even though you feel affections for each other in your heart, but still unless you are closer at least in same city its not going to work for long. Think about it. The very reason you fight is caused by some misunderstanding involved, this wouldn't have been in the first place if you were dating in real life, outside the Online. You could have understood each other more better, if it was in real life. He clearly sounds like wanting a real life relationship(from reading your post). Now its your time to realize and make some real life decisions. Date someone in real life, you would know the difference. :)
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #13

    Mar 22, 2016, 02:47 PM
    Never stay in any sort of relationship where you feel that there is "some sort of emotional abuse". Is being spoken to with the words he uses when he is angry, which you said happens easily, something you've always imagined you would find in a guy? Would you tell your best friend to put up with that sort of treatment? Of course not!

    You have an easy out of this infatuation... All you have to do is tell him, "you know, I've decided this isn't what I was looking for", and then block any further contact.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #14

    Mar 22, 2016, 03:43 PM
    I know this guy from chat. And I really want him to love me, I want to be the one he gets happy when he talks to... But Even though I know he loves me, he tells me to off when we fight and we fight a lot. Last time we fought, I told him not to text me if he's going to say the same things. And now I miss him... I want to fix this but first of all, I don't know if I should stay in some sort of emotionally abusive relationship, and secondly he said my idea of relationship is like a 15 year old, so I don't want to sound needy /childish. What should I do?
    Look at the parts of your post that I put in bold and underlined. Think about it.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #15

    Mar 22, 2016, 05:37 PM
    You aren't even good chat buddies so leave him alone. You found him to chat with so you can find someone better that you get along with and DON'T fight with. Stop and think how you are building something that's not real with a guy that's not there in person, and that's NOT working.

    Is you real life THAT bad, that you need a fantasy one like this? An abusive one at that! You should take better stock of yourself.

    Bad habits are hard to break though, but you really must break this one.

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