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    busymomma2013's Avatar
    busymomma2013 Posts: 282, Reputation: 20
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    #1

    Nov 10, 2015, 06:58 PM
    Why is it harder to get pregnant with second child?
    Been trying for a few months and it isn't happening. I didn't even try for the first and WHAM I was pregnant. I am with a different man.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #2

    Nov 10, 2015, 07:15 PM
    Most couples try for a year or more before actually conceiving. You've only been trying for a few months.
    busymomma2013's Avatar
    busymomma2013 Posts: 282, Reputation: 20
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    #3

    Nov 10, 2015, 07:28 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    Most couples try for a year or more before actually conceiving. You've only been trying for a few months.
    It just seems so different from the first time. I have read that it takes a year for most, but was really wondering if this has happened to anyone else and if there is anything I should be doing in the mean time to help.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #4

    Nov 10, 2015, 07:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by busymomma2013 View Post
    It just seems so different from the first time. I have read that it takes a year for most, but was really wondering if this has happened to anyone else and if there is anything I should be doing in the mean time to help.
    Every pregnancy is different, as is every conception. I tried for 7 months with my first, 10 months with my second, and one drunken night of complete abandon with my third (weren't even trying).

    Just because you got pregnant without trying with the first, doesn't mean you'll quickly become pregnant with the second. It's all about when you have sex, when sperm meets egg, when egg implants, etc.

    Are you tracking ovulation by testing basal temperature readings? Are you having sex when you're ovulating according to those readings?

    The average couple takes a year or more to conceive once they're actively trying. If you don't conceive after a year of tracking ovulation, having sex during ovulation, etc. then it's time to see a doctor. Until then, it's perfectly normal not to conceive right away, even if it's your second, third, fourth... pregnancy. It's not like your body is saying "oh, it's her second child, so we'll make it easier this time". It's still about science, no matter how many pregnancies you've had.

    Good luck.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #5

    Nov 10, 2015, 08:42 PM
    Be sure that you and your partner are both making healthy lifestyle choices... good nutrition, regular exercise, avoid cigarette smoke, etc. Good health can only improve your chances, along with increasing the odds of a healthy baby and pregnancy when you do become pregnant. It would also be wise for you to be taking a prenatal or multivitamin with at least 400 mcg of folic acid while you are trying to conceive. This helps in preventing certain birth defects that can occur very early in pregnancy.

    As you already know, it can take quite awhile to become pregnant sometimes, even if it was quick before. Learn the various ways that you can determine when you are most likely to be ovulating. As Alty mentioned, temping and charting your basal body temp is one of them. You won't know if you ovulated for certain, but if you have regular periods, you are most likely ovulating on a regular basis as well, and it can help to know when your body is preparing for ovulation to occur. Having sex every 2-3 days throughout each cycle is another way to make sure that the timing aspect is covered. Timing is only part of it, however, this is partly why it can take awhile.

    If no success after a year, sooner if you are 35 or older, basic fertility testing should occur for both you and your partner. Whether both of you have had children or not, doesn't guarantee issues can't arise when trying to conceive again.

    Hopefully you won't have to try too much longer!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #6

    Nov 10, 2015, 10:02 PM
    First how are you "trying" is your monthly cycle regular, are you tracking your ovulation (not with online charts) but medically.

    Are you timing sex ( so that it is happening 2 or 3 days before your ovulation.

    Are you refraining from sex just prior to that time?

    Have both you and new partner had medical checkups?

    Stress, if you have a small child, are one or both of you tired a lot?
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #7

    Nov 11, 2015, 09:05 AM
    Have you both had checkups?

    How long ago did you quit any birth control you might have been on?

    Are you overweight (being overweight can cause issues that inhibit fertility).

    Are you or he using any recreational drugs?

    Are you charting your BBT? Are your periods regular?

    Are you eating healthy foods?

    As said above, the AVERAGE couple takes a year of actively trying to get pregnant. Average. That means that for everyone who gets pregnant without trying, there's someone who's been trying for 2 years or more.

    I know this is REALLY hard--and I know because I've been through it--but you need to NOT STRESS about it until after you've been trying for a year. The more you think about it, the more you cry about it every month, the more you make it an issue--the bigger the problem will be. By all means, time your sex and make healthy choices, but understand that there is probably nothing wrong if you're not conceiving right away.

    Also--you mentioned that it is a different man. Sometimes it's just your chemistry together that makes it take longer--try not to stress. However, when you DO get to the one year point and want to take things further, make sure that HE is on board with getting checked out and tested as well.

    Good luck!

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