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sergie · Sep 21, 2015, 08:36 AM

Hello everyone! How odd is that of a human nature that when you need something then only you start to think over it. Well guys its kind of I am assuming that I may be suffering from stress and depression. Verbally taking advice with colleagues, they have been advising me to take vitamin supplements to beat stress and depression. I know doing a bit of work out can also help to eliminate stress... but still the situations are getting worse day by day. Is there anybody out there, who knows how to beat stress and depression? Its killing me. I want to live like a normal human being and not so sad and gloomy. HELP Please! Thank you all in advance.

Oliver2011 · Sep 21, 2015, 09:56 AM

This actually worked for me. I watched a motivational speaker named Ed Foreman once. He talked about how each of us are totally in control of the way we feel on a daily basis. Given the choice of having a good or bad day, each of us would choose to have a good day. Therefore when you wake up in the morning you tell yourself today is going to be a great day, and then you go out and make it a great day. It’s difficult in the beginning, but it does work. Also he talks about how you are in total control of how you react to negative situations or negative people. If you choose to realize that you can’t control what people say or think about you, then you only control what you can, and that is how you react to everything. Trust me he says it a ton better than I can, and he is available on YouTube so I would encourage you to watch one of his shows. And yes by all means get exercise because that really does not both physically and mentally.

sergie · Sep 21, 2015, 09:57 PM

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

This actually worked for me. I watched a motivational speaker named Ed Foreman once. He talked about how each of us are totally in control of the way we feel on a daily basis. Given the choice of having a good or bad day, each of us would choose to have a good day. Therefore when you wake up in the morning you tell yourself today is going to be a great day, and then you go out and make it a great day. It’s difficult in the beginning, but it does work. Also he talks about how you are in total control of how you react to negative situations or negative people. If you choose to realize that you can’t control what people say or think about you, then you only control what you can, and that is how you react to everything. Trust me he says it a ton better than I can, and he is available on YouTube so I would encourage you to watch one of his shows. And yes by all means get exercise because that really does not both physically and mentally.

Thank you for replying yeah I watched Ed foreman's show on you tube. Its not about a day here, but its about life ahead Bro. Thank you anyway for your precious time.

J_9 · Sep 21, 2015, 10:06 PM

Originally Posted by sergie

Thank you for replying yeah I watched Ed foreman's show on you tube. Its not about a day here, but its about life ahead Bro. Thank you anyway for your precious time.

But it it is about a day. You have to take one day at a time. Start with tomorrow, and continue every day. Eventually it will become your lifestyle and you won't have to worry about your "life ahead."

Originally Posted by sergie

Its not about a day here, but its about life ahead Bro.

You can't have a happy and satisfied future if you don't have a happy and satisfied present.

sergie · Sep 22, 2015, 12:32 AM

By words its true j_9 but how do I take it in the feeling and walk... I have it in the mind that the one who don't know how to stay happy now... it will be not easy for him to learn as how to be happy in future. Every time I see in the mirror I see a sad face staring at me... I only wish if I could bring smile to that face.

Oliver2011 · Sep 22, 2015, 04:17 AM

Exactly. Live in the moment because what happened yesterday doesn't matter and you can't control tomorrow from today.

Originally Posted by J_9

But it it is about a day. You have to take one day at a time. Start with tomorrow, and continue every day. Eventually it will become your lifestyle and you won't have to worry about your "life ahead."

You can't have a happy and satisfied future if you don't have a happy and satisfied present.

tickle · Sep 22, 2015, 04:23 AM

Make a big smiley face on the mirror and every time youlook in the mirror you may get the idea to smile back. May sound too simple, but the simple things in life are the best. You need to learn how to smile at people in your day to day wanderings and when they smile back, you have done a good thing ! No one will smile at a sour face.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 22, 2015, 04:36 AM

You can not change a yesterday, you can not change 5 minutes ago. You can worry about tomorrow and next month and next year and have high blood pressure stress, ulcers and more. (I saw it destroy my mom, one of my good co-workers and many others)

It is a life style choice,

sergie · Sep 22, 2015, 06:51 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

You can not change a yesterday, you can not change 5 minutes ago. You can worry about tomorrow and next month and next year and have high blood pressure stress, ulcers and more. (I saw it destroy my mom, one of my good co-workers and many others)

It is a life style choice,

I am really sorry to hear about your mom and friends.I believe this current job has given me high blood pressure and stress. But if leave this job, I don't know how will I survive and help my family... schooling kids, fees, bills... everytime I decides to give up on my current job.. things get complicated when I think about the rest of other things. I wish I could start something new of my own.

Oliver2011 · Sep 22, 2015, 06:58 AM

Giving up your job and putting your family at risk is a bad decision so take that off the table. There’s nothing wrong with looking for another job while you have this job.

What is most important is dealing with the stress. There are all kinds of relaxation techniques out there. It has been mentioned before but exercise is amazing in dealing with stress. Read about living in the moment which I believe truly works. And feel the importance of providing for your family which is a very crucial thing.

sergie · Sep 22, 2015, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Giving up your job and putting your family at risk is a bad decision so take that off the table. There’s nothing wrong with looking for another job while you have this job.

What is most important is dealing with the stress. There are all kinds of relaxation techniques out there. It has been mentioned before but exercise is amazing in dealing with stress. Read about living in the moment which I believe truly works. And feel the importance of providing for your family which is a very crucial thing.

My current job isn't helping me much to meet my financial needs... this is the main reason I was thinking to give up on the job.

Oliver2011 · Sep 22, 2015, 07:46 AM

You understand there are things that you can do that will add to your stress levels right? Quitting your source of income is one of those, especially if you have a family to provide for. You have expressed your concern about your stress levels so do not deliberately do things that will increase your stress levels. What about getting a second job for more income? Set short time goals for yourself and work hard to achieve them. Focus your thoughts and your actions on making your life and the lives you are responsible for better.

talaniman · Sep 22, 2015, 08:53 AM

I suspect you judge yourself too harshly, and are not satisfied or content with the good you already do. Maybe you look to far into the future and not enough at the daily aspects of your life. You must be really young if you have no patience with yourself and the life you have.

Giving yourself some credit for what you have accomplished so far in your young life is a great start to having a more positive attitude based on gratitude for at least being on a good path to build from a solid foundation.

Sure take your vitamins, but seek to grow and gain knowledge and experience to do even better later... without tearing down what you have built so far. That makes your situation all about dealing with growing pains, as you learn more about YOURSELF, and how to manage YOUR own feelings.

We all have gone through this process of growing, AND learning how to do better, and be better within ourselves and our lives. I suggest you start being good to yourself, and do good things for yourself on a regular basis, simply because a hardworking guy like you deserves it every now and then.

In this way you can enjoy the journey of life in a positive and orderly way as you share it with family, friends, and the people you meet along the way. Be grateful to just have today, and let tomorrow come on it's own in it's own time. Sure you can plan but you just never know what tomorrow will bring and you have to be ready for ANYTHING!

You'll figure it out though, just keep living. One day at a time. Be grateful for today.

sergie · Sep 23, 2015, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

You understand there are things that you can do that will add to your stress levels right? Quitting your source of income is one of those, especially if you have a family to provide for. You have expressed your concern about your stress levels so do not deliberately do things that will increase your stress levels. What about getting a second job for more income? Set short time goals for yourself and work hard to achieve them. Focus your thoughts and your actions on making your life and the lives you are responsible for better.

My aspect of giving up on job is because I am done working for others. Being in a poor family and all the responsibilities of your family on your shoulders is a lot to take in. I also have my life, I also want to live. The fear of losing job, the fear of future of my family, the race to success... I can't take it anymore.
My head can't think of anything else as what I'll be doing without the job... but I really don't want to work for other that's for sure... I am done with.

Originally Posted by talaniman

I suspect you judge yourself too harshly, and are not satisfied or content with the good you already do. Maybe you look to far into the future and not enough at the daily aspects of your life. You must be really young if you have no patience with yourself and the life you have.

Giving yourself some credit for what you have accomplished so far in your young life is a great start to having a more positive attitude based on gratitude for at least being on a good path to build from a solid foundation.

Sure take your vitamins, but seek to grow and gain knowledge and experience to do even better later... without tearing down what you have built so far. That makes your situation all about dealing with growing pains, as you learn more about YOURSELF, and how to manage YOUR own feelings.

We all have gone through this process of growing, AND learning how to do better, and be better within ourselves and our lives. I suggest you start being good to yourself, and do good things for yourself on a regular basis, simply because a hardworking guy like you deserves it every now and then.

In this way you can enjoy the journey of life in a positive and orderly way as you share it with family, friends, and the people you meet along the way. Be grateful to just have today, and let tomorrow come on it's own in it's own time. Sure you can plan but you just never know what tomorrow will bring and you have to be ready for ANYTHING!

You'll figure it out though, just keep living. One day at a time. Be grateful for today.

That was really nice to hear from you... I don't know what to do with my life... I don't know what I am good at.. I am so confusing sometimes... sigh... I wish there was a real god and help me out or show the right path. I don't want to waste my life doing nothing.

talaniman · Sep 23, 2015, 07:41 AM

Well what's your PLAN to feed yourself and help your poor family while you learn to work for yourself? Without a plan you are asking for a big burden on yourself and your family.

Foolish to quit a job without a plan... and maybe that's your whole problem... NO solid, logical, realistic PLAN.

I can see where THAT can be frustrating. Where would you like to be in 5 years, and how can you BEST get there? Write it down and study it.

Oliver2011 · Sep 23, 2015, 07:45 AM

“I wish there was a real god and help me out or show the right path.”

Most of the time when people make that statement it’s because their eyes are closed, metaphorically speaking. God has never promised you the perfect life. He hasn’t promised you 88 years of life. And he expects you to use the talents he blessed you with to create good in this world.

If you want to continue the “poor me” life, then quit your job and have no money. The people that are successful in life are the people who have structure and who set goals for themselves and achieve those goals. You seem to be not one of those people, so just quit. From what I’ve seen you do yourself no favors and there’s only one person to blame for that. You may have read everything everyone wrote but it surely didn’t sink in. Sad really, just sad.

talaniman · Sep 23, 2015, 08:01 AM

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

“I wish there was a real god and help me out or show the right path.”

Most of the time when people make that statement it's because their eyes are closed, metaphorically speaking. God has never promised you the perfect life. He hasn't promised you 88 years of life. And he expects you to use the talents he blessed you with to create good in this world.

If you want to continue the “poor me” life, then quit your job and have no money. The people that are successful in life are the people who have structure and who set goals for themselves and achieve those goals. You seem to be not one of those people, so just quit. From what I've seen you do yourself no favors and there's only one person to blame for that. You may have read everything everyone wrote but it surely didn't sink in. Sad really, just sad.

Wallowing in self pity is no substitute for good orderly direction, and as we see extremely stressful. Big 10-4 Oliver.

joypulv · Sep 23, 2015, 08:32 AM

I had severe depression many times over 68 years. I would sleep all the time, mope around, cry, and work just enough to provide for myself in the cheapest possible places with lots of roommates. It was a deliberate choice. And I had no children deliberately too. (You don't say if your family obligation is to a wife and children or to parents and siblings.)

There is some value in talking yourself out of depressing ways of acting, followed by ways of thinking.
I take a concrete approach. Take stock of your life. Do it on paper, making a list. One way might be to drawn a line down the middle and put what's dragging you down on one side, and good attributes you have on the other. Draw a line across the middle, and below the line write down obligations versus wishes for a different life.
Mull it over and change it for weeks.
One by one, take a depressing thought as it's happening and counteract it.

I have chronic pay nowadays. I always did, but it was nothing compared to now. When it really gets me down, I envision some tragedy I've seen recently in the news, or a documentary. I stomp around saying "About 3 billion people are worse off than I am, by a LOT, right now." It doesn't always work. Don't expect attempts at getting out of the dumps to work all the time. In fact, it's easy when depressed to join what I call the All or Nothing Cafe. That's when you have to be something 100% or not at all. Something like HAPPY. Happiness isn't all it's cracked up to be. And who in their right mind is happy in this world of suffering? You grab some happy moments when you can.