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    lordstannis's Avatar
    lordstannis Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 18, 2015, 10:55 PM
    Should I wait to message this girl I asked out at her job?
    So, I went to a store today with my sister, we were looking around and I kept making eye contact with this really cute girl that works there, I made a joke, she laughed and we left. Anyway, I went back and my sister went to a different store so I was talking to her, asked which product was best and I bought one. I decided to go back to get her number, but I also acted like I wanted to change my product, so we chatted for about 10 minutes and eventually I asked her what time she got off and if she wanted to go out sometime. She had been making direct eye-contact throughout the time I was there, laughing, etc. Anyway she was like, "I don't know" and threw her arms in the air. She said she didn't know me so I just offered her my number and said she could text me, so I gave her my number and left. Not 10 minutes later she added me on Facebook. What should I do? I understand her reasoning, we had a nice exchange but I'm just a random guy. Should I wait a few days to message her? Wait for her to message me? Text me? Please help, this girl is gorgeous and just... ah.. Thanks
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Sep 19, 2015, 03:17 AM
    You chat with her a few days, get to know her. Then ask her out.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Sep 19, 2015, 06:34 AM
    She is giving you a chance to communicate and get to know YOU safely, so why wait? Take advantage of the Facebook opportunity to show her your good side, and see if she gives you her number to talk to each other.

    I wouldn't expect her to call you, but you can show some social media interest, find out her likes and dislikes and see if it progresses to a more personal level (like a date). Do expect her to go slow since you are just a random guy.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #4

    Sep 19, 2015, 07:14 AM
    I don't see any reason why you can message her, she added you to Facebook, what would you be waiting for?
    How old are the two of you?
    lordstannis's Avatar
    lordstannis Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Sep 19, 2015, 07:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    I don't see any reason why you can message her, she added you to Facebook, what would you be waiting for?
    How old are the two of you?
    No reason I CAN message her? I'm 20, she's 19.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #6

    Sep 19, 2015, 08:29 AM
    Just so you know... Direct eye contact will be made by ANYONE good at their job working with others. However if she added you on Facebook.. then she wants to get to know more about you. At this point nothing is certain... so you talk and see where it goes from there if she finds enough to interest her... it could easily go either way even if you do everything right.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #7

    Sep 19, 2015, 09:51 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by lordstannis View Post
    No reason I CAN message her? I'm 20, she's 19.
    I meant can't
    lordstannis's Avatar
    lordstannis Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Sep 19, 2015, 10:00 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    I meant can't
    What exactly do I message her? Do I mention the hair product I bought? Or what?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #9

    Sep 19, 2015, 10:06 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by lordstannis View Post
    What exactly do I message her? Do I mention the hair product I bought? Or what?

    Seriously dude... if you don't know what to say to her... you aren't ready to be dating her.

    That's not meant to be rude... but it is true. Because you will have to think of something to say after that...and after that and you can't be asking someone what to say, it has to come from inside....something that's appropriate for the moment. Otherwise you are going to come across as award or worse.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #10

    Sep 19, 2015, 10:08 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by lordstannis View Post
    What exactly do I message her? Do I mention the hair product I bought? Or what?
    Thank her for adding you on Fb. Then ask her a question, like how long has she worked at the store where you met her.
    lordstannis's Avatar
    lordstannis Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Sep 19, 2015, 11:00 AM
    I just realized she messaged me as soon as she added me but since we had no mutual connections it went to my archive. FML.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #12

    Sep 19, 2015, 12:23 PM
    Message her back, and apologize for being a dummy that forgot to put her on his contact list.
    lordstannis's Avatar
    lordstannis Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Sep 19, 2015, 12:27 PM
    She messaged me and said "i would get some food some night. even tho i dont know u, u seem sweet and it sounds rebellious and fun lol" I told her food some night would be great and that I didn't know her either but she seemed cool. That was about 2 hours ago. She saw it... now what ? I don't want to message her again and seem needy.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #14

    Sep 19, 2015, 12:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lordstannis View Post
    She messaged me and said "i would get some food some night. even tho i dont know u, u seem sweet and it sounds rebellious and fun lol" I told her food some night would be great and that I didn't know her either but she seemed cool. That was about 2 hours ago. She saw it... now what ? I don't want to message her again and seem needy.
    Ask her when would be a good night/time for her. (Are you really having so much trouble with this? Are we going to go on your date via your smartphone to help you with conversation?)
    lordstannis's Avatar
    lordstannis Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Sep 20, 2015, 04:16 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Ask her when would be a good night/time for her. (Are you really having so much trouble with this? Are we going to go on your date via your smartphone to help you with conversation?)
    Lol sorry. It's not a big deal.

    She didn't message me back so she's not interested, obviously. Thanks for all the advice though.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #16

    Sep 20, 2015, 05:43 AM
    You weren't expecting instant success were you? Just chill and see what happens. Not getting a text back in YOUR timetable is no big deal.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #17

    Sep 20, 2015, 07:24 AM
    You didn't get right back to her either. Chill out. She will get back when she can or send her a "hello" text. There is no set of rules. Just don't be intrusive and rude.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #18

    Sep 20, 2015, 10:36 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by lordstannis View Post
    No reason I CAN message her? I'm 20, she's 19.
    Homegirl obviously meant CANT
    iseah100's Avatar
    iseah100 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #19

    Sep 20, 2015, 03:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    You weren't expecting instant success were you? Just chill and see what happens. Not getting a text back in YOUR timetable is no big deal.
    ^.


    though, she probably ain't in to you. It probably was just a courtesy thing so she doesn't feel as bad. Don't worry, there is other girls.


    I know rejection, trust me lol.
    lordstannis's Avatar
    lordstannis Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #20

    Sep 20, 2015, 05:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    You didn't get right back to her either. Chill out. She will get back when she can or send her a "hello" text. There is no set of rules. Just don't be intrusive and rude.
    I don't have her number, just gave her mine. So, just wait for her to text me? And if she doesn't forget about her?

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