What does she want from me?

SRboss · Aug 25, 2015, 04:57 PM

Hello, there is a girl I like and I am sure she likes me too. The only problem is that she has a boyfriend that she has been dating for several years. Whenever I try to avoid her she approaches me but when I talk to her she is distant. She has been giving me mixed signals. I am not sure what she wants from me? I have tried moving on but she always says something or does something that makes me want to be with her. Any advice would be very helpful, thank you very much/

smoothy · Aug 25, 2015, 05:09 PM

Simple... avoid her... she is taken... if she is going to fool around on HIM now with you... she will be fooling around on you with someone else at some point too. And that would show she has little character.

redhed35 · Aug 26, 2015, 12:42 AM

Perhaps she is just being a nice person when she's talking to you and not playing the field.

Often when we fancy someone we look for signs they might fancy us back and end up feeling confused.

There are thousands of single woman out there, find one of those to set your sights on, trying to figure out someone who is attached is a waste of time, heart and energy.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 26, 2015, 02:13 AM

Perhaps, her "signals" is just friends and you misunderstand.

Depending on your ages, perhaps she is wanting to cheat on her boyfriend with you.

I really interesting idea, ask her, if you really want to know.

duaaaa · Aug 26, 2015, 04:01 AM

Avoid her , she is taken . You should think ( what if you were him )!! Nobody likes to be cheated .
Believe me you must know that U definitely will find someone better than her but first of all u should close this page

talaniman · Aug 26, 2015, 05:41 AM

You assume because you like her she likes you the same romantic way. I doubt it. It comes down to you being a just a friend, and stop looking for signs she wants more than that. Respect her, respect her relationship, and you have no problem knowing how you should handle yourself around her, but if YOU cannot control YOUR own feelings and not allow yourself to speculate about this, you should leave her alone because you cannot even be a true friend as long as your lust/attraction to her keeps getting in the way.

Bottom line is she is in a relationship, and if you want romance, then look elsewhere for it, and don't obsess about someone who is taken. You don't have to be stuck on her my friend, or be confused about the signals (You think) she may send. Its more about how you receive them, and how you behave, so stay within the boundaries of good behavior no matter what she wants from you (Or what you THINK she wants from you).

I know it's not an easy thing to be cool, calm, collected and in control of yourself, given those strong feelings of attraction for this lady, but now would be a good time to start practicing good behavior, and good orderly direction in your life.

How old are you both?

Homegirl 50 · Aug 26, 2015, 08:45 AM

The point is, she has a boyfriend Period! You need to stop obsessing about her. She may not be interested in you at all. This may be wishful thinking on your part.

joypulv · Aug 26, 2015, 11:47 AM

Notice how responses here run the gamut? She's playing games, she's not as interested in you as you wish, and so on.
That's because we are total strangers who can't possibly know. YOU are the one who has to figure it out.
If you can't, you can always be totally blunt and ask her.

When I was married, my husband was charmed away by a very attractive younger woman, who wanted him around all the time. ALMOST all the time. Turns out she had a boyfriend, but because he was in medical school, she rarely got to spend time with him. She got a lot out of my ex, but didn't want sex, ha! He fell for it.

Be careful. What do YOU think she's doing? Use your brain and tell us.

SRboss · Aug 28, 2015, 07:37 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You assume because you like her she likes you the same romantic way. I doubt it. It comes down to you being a just a friend, and stop looking for signs she wants more than that. Respect her, respect her relationship, and you have no problem knowing how you should handle yourself around her, but if YOU cannot control YOUR own feelings and not allow yourself to speculate about this, you should leave her alone because you cannot even be a true friend as long as your lust/attraction to her keeps getting in the way.

Bottom line is she is in a relationship, and if you want romance, then look elsewhere for it, and don't obsess about someone who is taken. You don't have to be stuck on her my friend, or be confused about the signals (You think) she may send. Its more about how you receive them, and how you behave, so stay within the boundaries of good behavior no matter what she wants from you (Or what you THINK she wants from you).

I know it's not an easy thing to be cool, calm, collected and in control of yourself, given those strong feelings of attraction for this lady, but now would be a good time to start practicing good behavior, and good orderly direction in your life.

How old are you both?

We're both 28

smoothy · Aug 28, 2015, 07:41 PM

Also.. if the real boyfriend is like most guys... the minute he catches wind you are trolling his gal... he's likely to kick your butt.

SRboss · Aug 28, 2015, 07:47 PM

Originally Posted by joypulv

Notice how responses here run the gamut? She's playing games, she's not as interested in you as you wish, and so on.
That's because we are total strangers who can't possibly know. YOU are the one who has to figure it out.
If you can't, you can always be totally blunt and ask her.

When I was married, my husband was charmed away by a very attractive younger woman, who wanted him around all the time. ALMOST all the time. Turns out she had a boyfriend, but because he was in medical school, she rarely got to spend time with him. She got a lot out of my ex, but didn't want sex, ha! He fell for it.

Be careful. What do YOU think she's doing? Use your brain and tell us.

She knows I like her but she doesn't want to be mean and reject me. I don't think she wants to be with me at this point though. I will move on I understand sometimes it's just not meant to be.

Originally Posted by smoothy

Also.. if the real boyfriend is like most guys... the minute he catches wind you are trolling his gal... he's likely to kick your butt.

Lol, that wouldn't be a good idea for him. He may tell me to back off but he would be wise not to mess with me.

smoothy · Aug 28, 2015, 08:18 PM

Originally Posted by SRboss

Lol, that wouldn't be a good idea for him. He may tell me to back off but he would be wise not to mess with me.

Never underestimate people... you would be surprised how often a smaller guy can not only hold his own, but beat a bigger stronger guy. Or what any other person may or may not be capable of doing if they feel they are cornered.

SRboss · Aug 28, 2015, 08:48 PM

Originally Posted by smoothy

Never underestimate people... you would be surprised how often a smaller guy can not only hold his own, but beat a bigger stronger guy. Or what any other person may or may not be capable of doing if they feel they are cornered.

Very true, but I'm done I'm moving on it's just not worth it. Thanks so much for your input

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