[Jake2008]

People can change, and overcome serious problems.

He was unable to stop with the filming, but, six months of therapy sounds to have helped him a great deal. I give him credit for that because many 'caught' in similar circumstances do not feel the need to be helped at all, and have a 'get over it' attitude.

There is no excuse big enough to justify what he has done. It is squarely on his shoulders, and his alone. None of us are ever prepared for life with two small children, but the stress of that is not an excuse to justify what he had done. As you had said, he knew he could talk to you, and he chose not to. It seems like he gave no inkling of any problems, or showed stress in other ways, like drinking or coming home late etc. You are not to be blamed because he chose not to communicate.

I would give him a second chance, with the decision being made only on staying married, and providing what had been, a solid relationship, or rather resuming the solid relationship, and keeping the family intact.

I do not see this as a decision to be made to include anybody else other than you, and him. To balance in family members, including those who were filmed, would take time, and work, and perhaps counseling on their own to get past this if they need it. What he has done is given them a problem, he caused it, and both of you should expect that you will have fallout from remaining with him. Social situations will be awkward, and he needs to speak to these consequences as well, as they happen.

If you think you are able to trust him again, and put faith in the strength of your marriage, to overcome what has happened, then by all means do so.

I would insist that he give you the camera, to destroy. And I'd keep an eye on what he spends money on. The least he should expect.

But, to give up your marriage without a second chance, you could be making the biggest mistake of your life.