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    natashap25's Avatar
    natashap25 Posts: 49, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    May 30, 2015, 12:31 PM
    Why do I keep getting compared to other girls?
    Ok so my mum always screams at me for NOT putting makeup on and doing hairstyles because she says I'm pretty but I hide my beauty instead of enhancing it.

    Then she gives me examples of other girls who do all of this,and says they look prettier than me?


    I don't like doing all of this,plus I'm not botheres,so should I just think I'm wasting my beauty and young age?

    Why cant people just accept me with my comfy clothes and messy hair?

    I think I still look good then
    Plus I'm not trying to impress anyone
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #2

    May 30, 2015, 12:43 PM
    She SCREAMS at you? Has she ever taken you to a beauty salon for hair styling?
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #3

    May 30, 2015, 12:56 PM
    Do you not have any pride In your appearance ? If you don't then I don't blame your mom for coming down on you.

    Wake up ! How old are you ?
    natashap25's Avatar
    natashap25 Posts: 49, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    May 30, 2015, 01:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    She SCREAMS at you? Has she ever taken you to a beauty salon for hair styling?
    Yes but I don't like doing hairstyles,she always compares me

    Quote Originally Posted by tickle View Post
    Do you not have any pride In your appearance ? If you don't then I don't blame your mom for coming down on you.

    Wake up ! How old are you ?
    I don't quite understand what you mean by wake up? I'm 18
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #5

    May 30, 2015, 01:30 PM
    Welcome to the real world... people are, have been and always will be judged based on how they present themselves. The real world is not nice, its not convenient and its rarely like what Teenagers think it is or should be.

    Think about it... you have to hire one of two people... one takes great care in how they present themselves... and the other, well... doesn't. Guess who gets hired? The effort you make at appearance is usually mirrored by the effort you make in other parts of your life.

    Do what you want... just be aware there is always a price to be paid for how you act and every choice you make the rest of your natural life. And sometimes beyond.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #6

    May 30, 2015, 01:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by natashap25 View Post
    Yes but I don't like doing hairstyles,she always compares me
    So let her choose a style for you. Hair grows back. Methinks this is more of a control issue than one of appearance. Do you live at home and depend on her for support?
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #7

    May 30, 2015, 01:45 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by natashap25 View Post
    Yes but I don't like doing hairstyles,she always compares me



    I don't quite understand what you mean by wake up? I'm 18
    Resd what I stated very slowly. Yiu need to let your feminine side take control. I thought you were much younger maybe 14. You must really be a mess if your mom gets that upset.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #8

    May 30, 2015, 02:30 PM
    Not every female likes to wear make-up and style their hair in the latest fashion. That's okay as long as you know how to dress appropriately for the situation/event. I mean you wouldn't wear blue jeans to a wedding (unless that is the dress code set by the couple), would you?

    Do you consider your hair "messy" or is that your mother's perception? Do you keep in clean and attempt to control it for every day activities? At school or if you have a job/job interview do you attempt to look clean and presentable even if it isn't your mother's fashion ideals?

    It sounds like your mother wants a more stereotypically feminine daughter. That may not be what you want, but I will ask if how you dress is an attempt to be less noticeable. Is the way you dress a shell to protect you from other people? Does part of you want to be more 'princess' and less 'tomboy'?

    I will add that if you don't like fooling with your hair, there are hairstyles that are very easy to take care of and might be a compromise with your mother.

    It isn't much longer until you are going away to school and what you like and want might change when you are in a new place. So accept your mother as the person she is and put up with her opinions just like you wish she would do for you while you go about your own life learning as you go and grow. In the years to come all of this will seem trivial when you look back.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #9

    May 30, 2015, 09:08 PM
    You will be. And are judged often by your looks.

    You will be limited to many things in life, if you do not, (esp at 18) start having pride in your looks.

    Sloopy clothes is OK for around the house, but you should by 18, have pride in your appearance.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #10

    May 31, 2015, 06:15 AM
    Your mom knows very well that first impressions are longer lasting than you think, and she just wants you to practice/learn good habits that will serve you well later.

    You don't have to be glamorous, just neat, like you care about yourself. Not only will preparing yourself too have a great day EVERY MORNING help your other issues, but it will help you love yourself, and do good things for yourself.

    Smile every morning at the person in the mirror, and I guarantee they will smile back.
    GorgeousGrandma's Avatar
    GorgeousGrandma Posts: 29, Reputation: 5
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    #11

    Jun 8, 2015, 01:26 PM
    WELL... I have witnessed mothers whom want their daughters to be beauty queens,dress and carry themselves a certain way. I went through this with my daughter when she was 12. She was in the emo stage and wanted to wear her "the crow" look makeup. I wasn't having that! I did allow her to wear it at home and I allowed her to dress the way she liked with my approval. You're 18 and as long as your hygiene is good, you're brushing your hair,and you're not wearing sleep pants to Walmart. I don't see the problem with how you feel comfortable, makeup and dresses aren't everyone's thing. Try talking to your mkm on how she makes you feel.
    FiveOne_Girl's Avatar
    FiveOne_Girl Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #12

    Nov 3, 2015, 10:17 AM
    Your mom probably just want to take pride that her daughter is very attractive that's why she wants you to look better. Makeup, nice hairstyle, nice clothes will make you look more attractive but if you have to choose your priority when it comes to Beauty nothing beats flawless-looking skin(bare), strong, long shiny healthy hair and a fit body. :)

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