Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    You2464's Avatar
    You2464 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 29, 2015, 09:27 PM
    Mother attempting to keep me from my passion
    Hello all!

    My name is Chase and I am here because I do not know how to deal with a problem that I have with my mother. All of my life, I have been searching for something that I can make a living off. Everyone around me, including my mother, have always told me to follow my dream, or to find a job that I love so I never have to work a day in my life. I am sure this is the same schpeil everyone has heard at one time or another in their lives. "Follow your dreams and never lose sight of them."

    Well, recently, I believe I have found my niche, my place where I belong. I recently have become a small business owner at 17 and operate two YouTube channels: one for my company and a personal channel. I have uploaded a combined total of twenty or so videos in the past four or five months. Previously, my mother has been okay with me uploading videos. She was a bit apprehensive about me putting my face on the Internet but by then it was already out there.

    So time passed and nothing changed; I was uploading videos and following my dream. Until three weeks ago in the Houston Airport. My family was taking a trip to Orlando to visit Universal Studios. Before we left, I informed my mother that I would be videoing our trip for my channel. Out of respect for her and her wish that my family not be seen on the Internet, I promised her that I would not include them in it. She gave me the okay and I gathered my gear for the trip.

    Fast forward to the airport. She pulled me aside and told me that she was not okay with me videoing our trip on the grounds that I would be spending too much time videoing and not enough time with the family. I consented to not video during the trip. But that was not all apparently. She went on to say that she was no longer okay with me uploading videos to YouTube as my little brother was asking her to do the same for minecraft videos and she was beginning to rethink how she felt with me being on the Internet. Now, this is where I began to argue with her.

    I pointed out that my face was already out there an there would be no point in not allowing me to post videos on the grounds of that argument. I also pointed out that my little brother had been asking to upload videos for almost a year, long before I started my channels or my company. In a very heated argument, I agreed to not upload another video until the end of school. This was so I could focus more on my grades, which were at the time not very good. We came to an agreement and the rest of the trip was wonderful.

    Fast forward again to this evening. For the past week or so, I have been telling my mother about a video project I have planned in two weeks on bullying. She had no problem with it whenever I mentioned it to her any of these times. Until this evening, that is...

    When I mentioned uploading another vlog (video blog) within the next few days, she began to yell at me, saying that she already told me I was not allowed to upload any videos anymore. In realty, our agreement was that I would not upload videos during the school year. Summer was fair game. Now, she is attempting to ban me from YouTube altogether.

    Being a YouTuber and videographer has become my love and my passion. I have followed years and years of advice from numerous people, including my mother, to follow my dreams and find my passion. Now that I have, she is attempting to take it away from me.

    My question is, how do I go about arguing this, should I do it anyway if she does decide to ban me from it, and why is she trying to keep me from doing why I love which is something she has encouraged me to do for years and years??

    All answers and comments are welcome. Please help me.

    Thank you

    -Chase
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    May 29, 2015, 09:33 PM
    How old are you? (17?) Have your grades improved? Is college in your future? Are you making any money with youtubing?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #3

    May 30, 2015, 12:06 AM
    Great, your 17 on the family vacation, even TV producers take vacation.

    Leave the camera and listen to your mother. Yes, you would be working, not playing with family.

    If your were my 17 year old, and I told you NO... and you tried to do it anyway, your camera and equipment would be in the trash.

    What ever happen to respect of parents and listening to them, when you are a child.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #4

    May 30, 2015, 05:26 AM
    I agree with your mother on your videos interfering with the family vacation.

    You say you are a "small business owner". How much do you make from your You Tube channel? Why do you consider it a business? Maybe if you show this to your mother she may relent

    But until you are 18, she sets the rules.

    Have you been looking at colleges? Are you going to major in film?
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #5

    May 30, 2015, 07:17 AM
    You have to listen to the rules set by your parents if you are living with them. Aside from that, you call this a small business and say that you have been searching for something you can make a living doing...Well, I have to ask...how much are you actually making with this? Very few people that do this actually "make a living".
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #6

    May 30, 2015, 07:22 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by odinn7 View Post
    You have to listen to the rules set by your parents if you are living with them. Aside from that, you call this a small business and say that you have been searching for something you can make a living doing...Well, I have to ask...how much are you actually making with this? Very few people that do this actually "make a living".
    Exactly... it is actually more of a hobby than a business, until and unless you make real money doing it most of the time.

    But as was mentioned....until you are an adult and live in your own place supporting yourself you don't get to do everything you want (and even then you will find you still can't).....you have to listen to the rules your parents lay down as long as you live in their house, even as an adult.

    With that said...nothing wrong with having a passion for things....as long as your priorities are properly set and maintained. Right now that should be education. After the education it will be getting a real job that earns enough to live on and pay all your bills...THEN and only THEN will this hobby have a place. If you are lucky at some point and manage to make money, good money...then you could focus more on it.

    Businesses have to have licenses, and File taxes etc...usually quarterly at least if there is an income or loss, including bookkeeping and other required documentation that needs to be kept. Its not a business just because you wish to call it one....
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #7

    May 30, 2015, 08:19 AM
    You work within your mother's rules, until you are free to make your own. She isn't trying to stop your passions, just guide you within limits that she feels are APPROPRIATE. Obviously she is right since your grades weren't that great and school, not hobbies, are the priority for now. same goes for the wantings of your brother.

    I get you don't understand your mom's thinking and actions, so instead of arguing, ASK her in a respectful way and see if an agreement can be reached. Hell, she has bought all your stuff and supported and guided you so far, so be grateful and show some respect. That would be the mature way to handle this, not like an immature brat who can only be happy getting all they want.

    I agree with your mom at this point as this hobby you have passion for needs to be balanced with discipline, structure, and some responsibility, a well as RESPECT. You will be on your own soon enough and right now I think you are carried away by your passion, and would benefit by obeying the rules, and getting with the program.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #8

    May 30, 2015, 08:29 AM
    The waitress who started putting her grumpy cat on YouTube ended up making millions - ad clicks and stuffed animals.
    Of course she has a job she can fall back on, even though she doesn't need to ever again, if she invests wisely.

    I'm sure you know that parents rule over what kids can and can't do. So perhaps the question is whether or not mom lied to you when she said follow your dream. No, she didn't. She didn't have to qualify her remark with 'after you are 18, not living under our roof, and out supporting yourself.'

    Just keep working on plans within the parameters she sets. It isn't far away. How is the money rolling in, BTW? Do you take Paypal, Bitcoin, charge cards? I have a video on Youtube about how to make your favorite golfer's ashes into golf balls, but no one has offered to compensate me.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #9

    Jun 1, 2015, 06:24 AM
    Is the content of your videos rated 'family'? Are they violent, contain questionable material, and/or are they offensive to viewers? Has your mother ever seen your work, and if she has what are her opinions of the work you do.

    That your work has had a negative impact on your marks, is, in itself, the same red flag for a parent if it were sports taking over your life (and marks) or a girlfriend (taking all your time and your marks falling).

    Think about balance. Work, life, family. Things you have to do, things you should be doing, and spending more productive time with your family. Your life revolves only around yourself, which is not any different than most 17 year olds, but thinking beyond your work, managing what you want to do, with what you need to do, and having some balance in your life, is a sign of maturity. Does your mother see maturity in you, or does she see you sacrificing everything for your passion/work.

    Take an inventory of your life. How much time do you spend helping around the house- cutting the grass, walking the dog etc.- maybe doing your own laundry. And how much time do you spend cooped up in your room, on your work. That would be a worry to any parent, to see their 17 year old lose focus on some sort of balance. It is not healthy to let something take away all of your focus, at the expense of those around you, not to mention the health of your own development.

    Try to take a good inventory of yourself, and what you do. Then try to balance that with the expectations your mother has. If there is a compromise in there somewhere, it will come up during conversations, if you are honest.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

Attempting custody from son's mother [ 4 Answers ]

I am in a sticky situation. My once fiancé is the mother of my 2 soon to be 3 year old son. Come to find out she is pregnant again one month after moving out of my house with only a $1000.00 gross income. She is now 5 months pregnant. I want to try for physical custody since her family and I...

Attempting To Live With A Felony [ 14 Answers ]

I am currently stuck in a hole job working the front desk for a hotel. I enjoy working in customer service and have 2 years at this job, so I have the experience. The problem is my felony is only 2-3 years old, and when I applied at another hotel chain the corporate office said it needs to be 7...

Mother of child attempting to take custody based on false abuse allegations [ 26 Answers ]

My brother lives in FL. He has a 2 yr old and shares custody with the mother. The mother is really making his life hell. In the past 2 yrs, she has changed his daughter's last name to hers without him knowing; she has kept his daughter from him, including holidays (this was prior to the agreement...

Attempting suicide [ 25 Answers ]

I'm 15 and I have was diagnosed with OCD and depression 4 years ago and have been on antidepressants for three years. I have been slitting my wrists for a very long time, but since my mother has started being violent again, I have become worse and in the last few days I have tried to hang myself...


View more questions Search