[momma5]

Husband and family friend got into a physical altercation today. Family friend knocks husband down then throws HOT coffee in husband's wife's face. Family friend Fills out police statement, but doesn't want to press charges. What can happen now?

[smoothy]

They can change their mind and press them... so can any of the other involved parties. The police and even decide to forward it to the DA... regardless of what the involved parties want.

Perhaps its time to get your husband into anger management classes.

[momma5]

Perhaps you didn't read it correctly, the friend knocked my husband down then threw hot coffee in my face. Why does my husband need anger management because of that?

[smoothy]

Takes two... I guarantee he wasn't sitting there quietly and meekly when it happened. Meaning he was a participant, and for that reason. I said that BECAUSE you can't make the other guy go. He could have chosen to argue and escalate the situation, or work to defuse it.

Be glad this time the other person didn't decide to go further... next one might... if you see my point. And why I suggested that, Testosterone can get you in a lot of trouble with the ¿Quién es más macho (who is more macho). I'm a guy and I know all too well what that is.

I'm not blaming HIM (your husband) for it...but he did participate. Cops could decide to charge BOTH parties with assault, but the other guy could be charged with a more serious offense.

He would probably win in the end....but not before incurring legal expenses...meaning its a lose-lose situation. There are some states that are VERY pro-self defense...and some that really frown on those who defend themselves or others.

Was alcohol involved?

[Hayley666]

No alcohol was involved. Friend Just made statement. Doesn't want charges pressed, I assume they are aware they can be charged as well. Husband is worried about losing Job

[J_9]

It doesn't matter who does or does not "want to press charges." Once a police report is made it is up to the district attorney whether charges will be brought, and on what party.

[Hayley666]

What is the punishment typically? My husband is a cdl driver.

[J_9]

Why are you using two usernames?

The punishment will depend on your local laws.

[Hayley666]

My original email locked me out. Yay for technology...

We live in Oklahoma If that's at all helpful

[J_9]

This is a global website.

[Hayley666]

So self defense or not, my husband can be charged?

[J_9]

There are too many factors, not enough information given, to formulate an accurate answer.

We don't know all of the details. Were there witnesses? Are the witnesses credible?

You really didn't give us much to go on.

[Hayley666]

Me and his mom were there. Not going to lie, we all 4 were heated. Friends has a bruised finger, husband has a swollen hand and some marks on his neck from friend grabbing his shirt.

[J_9]

Most likely. It will all come down to witness statements.

If you want a REAL answer, you are going to have to paint a picture, not give 2 or 3 sentence responses.

[Hayley666]

Sorry I'm tired and my brain is everywhere right now. My husband wanted to talk with this friend. Friend starts yelling, husband yells back. Friend jumps up and pushes husband hard, knocking him down. I try to separate the 2 and Yes diffuse the situation. Friend picks up coffee and throws into my face, husband has gotten up and hits friend in the head. Friend hits back and I tell husband let's go. We go to walk out and friends comes up from behind husband and uses a cast iron skillet to hit him, falling out of the house. We leave. We go home. Friend gets spouse on phone (who wasn't there) and sends sheriff to get statement. Statement is made although Obviously I don't know what was said in it. Friend has a bruised finger and goes to hospital. Husband has a swollen hand and marks all over him, we haven't made a statement or spoken to anyone over this.

[AK lawyer]

The only violent behavior on the part of husband, from what OP has posted, is this: "... husband has gotten up and hits friend in the head ...". Sounds like self-defense to me (which means that he isn't guilty of anything), but whether husband will be prosecuted depends upon what the prosecutor believes. Since OP doesn't know what was in the statement, clearly it could contain a completely different scenario.

[tickle]

Perhaps you didn't read it correctly, the friend knocked my husband down then threw hot coffee in my face. Why does my husband need anger management because of that?

You said 'family friend knocks husband down and throws hot coffee in wife's face'. Then stated 'family friend doesn't want to press charges'. Which is it. Your husband was the damaged party, right ?

[Hayley666]

There was No innocent party here because again. Husband could've walked away. But obviously, heat of the argument. Husband is probably more banged up than the friend is. We've decided not to be around this person ever again, because If this happened once, it can happen again. The friend is considerably larger than husband. Husband is worried what could happen legally. He's the only one who works and we have 5 kids. Obviously stress is high

[AK lawyer]

There was No innocent party here because again. Husband could've walked away. ...

You were there and I wasn't, but from the way you related it I don't see it that way. Your husband had been knocked down; you were being subsequently assaulted. Defense of others (such of yourself) is also a viable defense. He didn't need to just walk away.

In some places, the right to defend oneself, instead of "just walking away", is inaccurately termed as a supposedly-rare "stand your ground law". Actually this defense is just-about universal: if it reasonably appears that you can't safely retreat without fear of (yourself or someone else) being inured, you have no duty to retreat.

[Hayley666]

When we did try to safely retreat, she had grabbed a skillet and hit him on the back, pushing him into me and both of us fell out of the house. Which I'm sure those parts didn't get reported. ( the whole I'm the victim' routine)