[tealikedays]

Hi, I'm new here. :)
Well there's this new girl at my school and she's absolutely breathtaking. I get super red and heated in the cheeks when she glances at me or even walks by me. I want to be friends with her and like her for her personality not just her looks. I'd probably get tongue tied by talking to her. Honestly, I don't want to have "more than friends" type of feelings because I have a boyfriend. He knows about my feelings for her and is really angry with me, which is understandable but at the same time hurts because I don't want to have these feelings anyway. I want to be her friend though and my boyfriend thinks that her and I talking as friends and the more I get to know her will give me more of a friendship feeling. Can someone give me an idea on what to say to her, or ways to not get so blushy around her?

Thank you

X

[talaniman]

Leave her alone you hound dog until you can control yourself and respect your relationship. Its really as simple as that to stay within the boundaries of good behavior.

[Oliver2011]

Infatuation with someone who you don't really know that well while having a boyfriend is somewhat interesting. Are you prepared for when your boyfriend dumps you? If she's a new student in your school especially this late in the school year she could probably use a new friend. Tread lightly so you don't upset your whole world. Get to know her first and then decide your course of action.

[tickle]

Hi tealikedays, I know where you are coming from with this. I went through this once too with a girl in jr. High. Realized what it was and got over it.

You are going to have to throw caution to the wind and introduce yourself. Welcome her to her new school. Really, this is all you have to do and then it will sort itself out for sure.

Leave her alone you hound dog until you can control yourself and respect your relationship. Its really as simple as that to stay within the boundaries of good behavior.

Tal, this is a girl posting, not a 'hound dog'. An entirely different approach is needed.

I know you didn't realize, right !

[talaniman]

Her sex doesn't matter. Only her behavior does. What girls can't be hound dogs? Would horn dog be better?

Its really simple, approaching a stranger you have feelings for (male/female) and know nothing about, and are in a relationship shouldn't be just rushed into, without thought or composure.

Didn't mean to be harsh, but the advice is the same.

[Homegirl 50]

So you think you might like this girl, your boy friend knows it and is mad?
Do you have the hots for this girl and told him about it or something, I'm not getting this.

[Fr_Chuck]

You either get brave enough and go say Hi, or ask her to do some activity with you.

Also why are you talking to personal about an other person with your boyfriend. Some things need and should be private.

[tickle]

So you think you might like this girl, your boy friend knows it and is mad?
Do you have the hots for this girl and told him about it or something, I'm not getting this.

Yes, the way I see it, she is sexually attracted to this girl and mentioned this to her b/f. Now he is jealous.

Chuck is right, some things are better kept to ones self. Especially when you are not sure why you are confused.

[tealikedays]

I couldn't reply to all your answers at once. Yes I am sexually attracted to this girl, and I'm in high school too. My boyfriend is jealous but wants me to be friends with her because she doesn't have many friends. She ended up asking me for directions and that's when we talked. I found out some stuff about her and she asked me to go to lunch with her today. I talk about problems with my boyfriend and I saw this as a problem. I think the "more than friends" types of feelings are starting to go away. I did however find out that she wasn't straight. I wouldn't cheat on my boyfriend ever, we have a very strong relationship. We've been dating for 3 years and this is the first time I've had feelings for other people. He told me it was normal and knows how much I just want to be friends with the girl. I will admit I did sound kind of hound dogish.

[talaniman]

Thank you for responding again and bringing some clarity to this. We all have lusts, some more than others, that distracts us from making good decisions about our behavior. It's a good sign that you can talk honestly with your boyfriend, and already have some boundaries of good behavior in place for yourself. That will help you in tempting situations as you get to know this new person you are so attracted to, which is normal for all us humans.

Sometimes those intense feeling pass, and settle down rather quickly, sometimes they grow, and get more intense, but the bottomline is it's all about how YOU handle YOUR own feelings, no matter what the situation is. You acknowledged your feelings to yourself and I think that's a GREAT first step. Most of us hide our feelings from others for whatever reasons (mostly FEAR), but I think it's a BIG mistake to hide them from our own selves, as that leads to a state of denial of the FACTS, that can lead to some very bad outcomes. So be cautious of this bi/gay stranger as you learn a lot more about her. More will be revealed later so stay AWARE (But friendly...why NOT?).

Just one hound dog to another. Thanks again.

[Homegirl 50]

How old is your boyfriend? I'm not understanding the jealousy and now the "that's OK be friends" thing.
I didn't think you sounded hound doggish just confused. I don't understand why you have to share every thought with a boy friend.

[tealikedays]

You're welcome, I realized I didn't clarify things. The more I know her the more I like her as a friend. Thank you for the help! :)

Thank you for responding again and bringing some clarity to this. We all have lusts, some more than others, that distracts us from making good decisions about our behavior. It's a good sign that you can talk honestly with your boyfriend, and already have some boundaries of good behavior in place for yourself. That will help you in tempting situations as you get to know this new person you are so attracted to, which is normal for all us humans.

Sometimes those intense feeling pass, and settle down rather quickly, sometimes they grow, and get more intense, but the bottomline is it's all about how YOU handle YOUR own feelings, no matter what the situation is. You acknowledged your feelings to yourself and I think that's a GREAT first step. Most of us hide our feelings from others for whatever reasons (mostly FEAR), but I think it's a BIG mistake to hide them from our own selves, as that leads to a state of denial of the FACTS, that can lead to some very bad outcomes. So be cautious of this bi/gay stranger as you learn a lot more about her. More will be revealed later so stay AWARE (But friendly...why NOT?).

Just one hound dog to another. Thanks again.

[tealikedays]

He's 17 and I'm 16. He is jealous about me having feelings for her.He would much rather us be friends, which we are now. I was quite confused about what I should do or say to introduce myself but she actually ended up talking to me first. My boyfriend and I don't share EVERYTHING with each other, but considering we are such a strong relationship and have never had any problems until now when I was having strong lustful feelings for someone else, I felt like he needed to know and it was something we needed to talk about.

How old is your boyfriend? I'm not understanding the jealousy and now the "that's OK be friends" thing.
I didn't think you sounded hound doggish just confused. I don't understand why you have to share every thought with a boy friend.

[Oliver2011]

I'm guessing this chapter isn't over.

[Homegirl 50]

So now he has no problem being friends with a girl who is not straight.