[gpuga13]

I don't understand what is wrong with me. I'm in a relationship with someone who in my opinion doesn't care the least bit about me or my feelings (only when he wants something from me). He is always lying to me about everything I don't trust him at all because it's always a lie. He never wants to spend time with me because if we do he's bored. I'm always home alone. He leaves home and doesn't return until the next day and them wonders why I'm upset so them he tries to change things around and then he acts mad. Can you believe that. I could be crying my eyes out in front of him and he won't even bother ask what's wrong and pretty much ignorez me all day. But even tough I know a person who cares about you wouldn't treat you this way I can't leave him. But I am not happy and it's hurting me so much emotionally because I don't have anybody to talk to and he never listens. I cry all day, feel worthless, used, not cared for, and it kills me that I let him treat me this way and belittle me. Please someone help me, he's hurting me so bad emotionally and there's only so much my emotional health can take I don't know what to do? If he says he cares for me which he shows me very little, why would he do this to me, why does he keep pushing me away and compulsively lying?He is an everyday drug user can this be it or can it be something that happened in his childhood or his first marriage that left him traumatized or this way? Please help I would really appreciate it, thanks.

[Clough]

You have posed a good question. It sounds like you need to get out of the situation. Not a healthy situation as you have indicated very strongly.

Do you have somewhere else that you can go? Are you able to do that?

He needs some help concerning the drug use. Others will have advise concerning how you can help him deal with this.

You have people on this site who will listen and respond. You are reaching out. Others will respond.

You need to know that you are not alone in your situation. There are many others who care about what is happening to you.

You say that you cannot leave him. Why not?

Please respond.

[realestate1]

Im very sorry to hear about your situation. I understand how you are feeling, exactly. I am in the same situation right now. I have been married for 4 years, together for 8. You and I are walking in the same footprints. Honestly what I have been doing is, telling myself that I am worth it, that I deserve to be treated great, that I don't deserve what I am being put through. My husband is also a drug user, and alcohol. I wonder the same things, is he this way because of that, or things in his childhood that he can't let go of. Hes very controlling and verbaly abusive. He belittles me as well, calls me names, curses at me. Worst of all he does this in front of our children most of the time. If not in front of them, they hear him.
I don't know who I try to hold on either. I have been making baby steps in my life lately. I'm getting together a plan. My plan has been in action for about 6 months now. Saving money, getting a job (ive been a stay at home mom for years) finding out what kind of legal fight I might be in for. My husband is very controlling and manipulative, and spitefull. I am afraid of what he will do. He's already had the cops called on him once because of his anger. He only shows me he cares when I tell him that I am leaving. But then its right back to where we started. I don't think it will ever change.

Make a plan for yourself. Do some soul searching. You are worth it, you do deserve to be happy. Its against the law to treat animals the way we are being treated. You have one life, you should do what you want to do. And do what will make YOU happy. I will keep you in my thoughts. It hurts me to think that other people are feeling the same way I am. Good luck!

[statixmx]

You don't need this. You are better then that. You sound like a very wonderful person who takes a lot of crap, crap that you don't deserve.. In fact nobody deserves... I know words are simpler said then done but it's crucial to your own mental health and happiness to leave this situation. You say he doesn't listen? Well there is nothing more that you can do. It's just going to get worse and it sounds like he's never going to change. There are plenty of people out there that will treat you so much better. Don't let someone play you like that!

[NowWhat]

I agree with the other posts. You need to remove yourself from the situation. Your partner does not value you or your relationship. He doesn't seem to have a lot of love for himself - if he is abusing drugs. When you don't love yourself - it is really hard to love someone else.
I know it is hard to move on when your emotions are so strongly tied to someone else. But, before he can get help - he has to want it. And maybe hitting rock bottom will be the wake up call he needs. And getting a taste of losing everything normally wakes us up.
You have to take your independence back. You have to make it up in your mind that YOU DESERVE BETTER! You have to tell yourself everyday that you are a good person and your life and happiness has value!

[manimuth]

Others here have great advice on what you should do and I won't repeat.

But, in response to the question that titles your post: "why do i put up with someone who could care less 4me?": This is the most important question you need to answer. You must not think that your own life and happiness is worth much since you sacrifice it all to be mistreated. Why are you punishing yourself? Like others have said, you deserve much, much better than this. But, I don't think you believe that yourself.

So, take a look at yourself and find out why you don't believe you deserve better than this. Take some of that time and energy you spend crying and trying to please him and spend it on yourself. Go out and do something for yourself. Learn about yourself and your interests, goals, and dreams. Start hobbies, make new friends, learn something new, and gain self-confidence and self-esteem.

You not only deserve better, you deserve the BEST. Start believing that, gpuga. :)