[natashap25]

This guy was in my high school last year, and he kept looking at me and he had a crush on me, and when he tried to approach me I walked off, leaving him embarrassed.

So now he has gone to university in a different country, but I keep feeling that he may have some good qualities as a friend, he seems fun but not in a romantic way.

Do you think I should befriend him? Since I've never spoken to him, and pretty much ignored him the whole of last year, perhaps he would have forgotten, would it be really awkward if I text him? And is it hard to be friends if you live in a different country?

[Jake2008]

I don't see anything wrong in trying, except, because of your own rude behavior, he may not wish to revisit any sort of contact with you.

[talaniman]

I doubt anyone can forget being callously rejected, nor do I understand why all of a sudden you are having a change of heart about him. Why are you so worried about him since he is in another country?

Save your pity, for your own self examination, and leave him alone, and find a better way to get over your guilt at treating the fellow so badly. I thinks it's way too late to offer friendship to him, and a bit presumptuous to even think he would need it, or welcome it.

Are you stalking him on Facebook, or social media or something? How do you know where to even text him? Why the change of heart? Are you prepared to being rejected?

[catonsville]

You had your chance and you "blew it". He is off pursuing his studies and he will also get the opportunity to meet someone less rude there. " Distance makes the Heart Wonder not grow Fonder", in most cases, so move on

[Fr_Chuck]

It sounds like there may be more at issue than a "friend" and when you say befriend him, what do you mean?

I would say that with him in another country is not the time to attempt anything, and you need to learn a lesson. Unless in your culture (you sound like you are not from America or Canada) it is not proper for a single girl to be friends, you had a chance since there is never a issue about being a friend, if being friends is all you do.

[natashap25]

Thank you all for answering.I really don't know why I feel this. I just want to get over this.And do you think I was being really rude in doing what I did,what else was I supposed to do?

[catonsville]

Read the last 13 words of your first sentence and you tell us if you were being rude or not? Of your original post.

[talaniman]

And do you think I was being really rude in doing what I did,what else was I supposed to do?

You could have been a civil human being and talked friendly. Yes you were really rude and CRUEL!

[natashap25]

You could have been a civil human being and talked friendly. Yes you were really rude and CRUEL!

Yeah but Staring at someone for so long is also rude isn't it?

Read the last 13 words of your first sentence and you tell us if you were being rude or not? Of your original post.

Yeah but Staring at someone for so long is also rude isn't it?

[Cat1864]

Staring can be considered rude. It can also be a sign that the person is insecure and afraid to approach. He seems to have been nervous about approaching you and when he did, by your words, you acted like a brat by showing your own lack of manners. Actually, it seems to me you were even worse than being unmannered, you sound like you delighted in his discomfort and may have actively tried to set him up for embarrassment and ridicule. It would be different if you accidentally walked away because you didn't see him or were called away by a teacher or other adult, but that doesn't sound like what happened.

I don't know how old you are or if you were acting like a diva to make your 'friends' like you better, but I wouldn't want to be your friend if you treated me the way you treated him.

If you contact him, if you finally understand your bad behavior, write a letter apologizing. Do not expect him to respond or want to be your friend.

[catonsville]

Yeah but Staring at someone for so long is also rude isn't it?


Yeah but Staring at someone for so long is also rude isn't it?

Sounds like you want the "High Ground" regardless. It is to bad you don't understand what has been said.

[natashap25]

Sounds like you want the "High Ground" regardless. It is to bad you don't understand what has been said.

It is not that I don't understand,the fact is I do,I was sat on a table alone,when he joined me,without saying anything,and kept staring at me,so I just walked off,and even after that he continued to stare,I mean isn't that bad manners?
If he really wanted to talk to me he could have also done it by texting or something.

Anyway,I don't want to be his friend anymore,seems like I should just move on and get on with my life.

Staring can be considered rude. It can also be a sign that the person is insecure and afraid to approach. He seems to have been nervous about approaching you and when he did, by your words, you acted like a brat by showing your own lack of manners. Actually, it seems to me you were even worse than being unmannered, you sound like you delighted in his discomfort and may have actively tried to set him up for embarrassment and ridicule. It would be different if you accidentally walked away because you didn't see him or were called away by a teacher or other adult, but that doesn't sound like what happened.

I don't know how old you are or if you were acting like a diva to make your 'friends' like you better, but I wouldn't want to be your friend if you treated me the way you treated him.

If you contact him, if you finally understand your bad behavior, write a letter apologizing. Do not expect him to respond or want to be your friend.

It is not that I don't understand,the fact is I do,I was sat on a table alone,when he joined me,without saying anything,and kept staring at me,so I just walked off,and even after that he continued to stare,I mean isn't that bad manners? If he really wanted to talk to me he could have also done it by texting or something. Anyway,I don't want to be his friend anymore,seems like I should just move on and get on with my life.

[Cat1864]

This is just something for you to think about in your future interactions with others. Why didn't you say something when he sat down? Did your body language make it clear you didn't want to talk with him?

Why was he supposed to begin all contact? Why couldn't you have said something?

As for texting or something, how would he have gotten your contact information? Would you have been even more creeped out if he got your number from a friend?

I highly suggest looking at your own expectations and behavior to see where you might have room to improve your own communication skills and manners. Being polite and acknowledging another person's presence does not cost you anything and might eliminate some confusion.

[natashap25]

I doubt anyone can forget being callously rejected, nor do I understand why all of a sudden you are having a change of heart about him. Why are you so worried about him since he is in another country?

Save your pity, for your own self examination, and leave him alone, and find a better way to get over your guilt at treating the fellow so badly. I thinks it's way too late to offer friendship to him, and a bit presumptuous to even think he would need it, or welcome it.

Are you stalking him on Facebook, or social media or something? How do you know where to even text him? Why the change of heart? Are you prepared to being rejected?

I don't know what I feel to be honest,how should I behabe if I ever see him again?

[talaniman]

An apology would be nice, and being a bit friendlier wouldn't hurt, no matter how he acts, or reacts to it. You are only responsible for your own actions, whether he was as rude as you thought before, or simply misunderstood each other. Maybe you both were young and didn't understand what the other was feeling that day, but maybe it helps your obvious conscious to put your best foot forward even if he can't do the same now.

You can't be to bad of a person if you felt bad about your own behavior then, and want to do better now and that does show some growth, and something to personally build on for the future.

[natashap25]

Does that imply that he is a really nice person,since he didn't get angry and still continued to smile and stare at me.

How can I take of this GUILT from my heart?

Im carrying a heavy burden and lately I feel dozed out because I keep on thinking about this.

An apology would be nice, and being a bit friendlier wouldn't hurt, no matter how he acts, or reacts to it. You are only responsible for your own actions, whether he was as rude as you thought before, or simply misunderstood each other. Maybe you both were young and didn't understand what the other was feeling that day, but maybe it helps your obvious conscious to put your best foot forward even if he can't do the same now.

You can't be to bad of a person if you felt bad about your own behavior then, and want to do better now and that does show some growth, and something to personally build on for the future.

Hey thanks for your advice.

Does that imply that he is a really nice person,since he didn't get angry and still continued to smile and stare at me.


How can I take of this GUILT from my heart?


Im carrying a heavy burden and lately I feel dozed out because I keep on thinking about this.

This is just something for you to think about in your future interactions with others. Why didn't you say something when he sat down? Did your body language make it clear you didn't want to talk with him?

Why was he supposed to begin all contact? Why couldn't you have said something?

As for texting or something, how would he have gotten your contact information? Would you have been even more creeped out if he got your number from a friend?

I highly suggest looking at your own expectations and behavior to see where you might have room to improve your own communication skills and manners. Being polite and acknowledging another person's presence does not cost you anything and might eliminate some confusion.

Does that imply that he is a really nice person,since he didn't get angry and still continued to smile and stare at me.


How can I take of this GUILT from my heart?


Im carrying a heavy burden and lately I feel dozed out because I keep on thinking about this.

[talaniman]

Acknowledge your past mistakes, and forgive yourself... if you have learned from them, and are sincere in your efforts to do better in the future.

Often people are moved to make amends to those they have harmed, but beware if the person is not as forgiving as you are.

Hopefully this will make your burden a little lighter, and relieve your guilt somewhat. Regardless when you feel yourself dozing out over this, do something good for someone, or YOURSELF.

That will stop you from dwelling in your own thoughts so much at least.