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    JulietCameron's Avatar
    JulietCameron Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 9, 2015, 11:19 AM
    Need to get out of bad marriage now
    I have been in a bad marriage for the past six years, struggling to leave financially. I have a 20 month old daughter and a new baby due in two weeks. I am a new published author and business is moving slow to start, as it always does in this industry. I'm also holding public speaking events for free, helping women recover from the trauma of child abuse. My methods are new and the classes are finally starting to grow but I'm noticing that only one person actually donates while the others come in and take full advantage of what I give them for free. Several ladies have bought books that I display at every workshop which is helpful but it just isn't enough to build a cushion to build a foundation for a home for me and my children. How do I go about asking for helpful donations to leave a bad marriage when I am the teacher instructing people about ways to live the life of their dreams? With my daughter being due in a few weeks I am certainly finding myself physically taxed. I'm advertising my books as much as I can and am working diligently to finish another book. As my workshops grow and people begin to heal, I can begin to charge fees for my services respectfully. Any help here would be so appreciated. My husband is constantly threatening to kill himself and he refuses help as this is his way to hurt me and his children due to his own inner conflict. Please help. Many blessings to you.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Feb 9, 2015, 01:41 PM
    I know you know this but 6 year bad marriage and it only takes 9 months to make the daughter. Sometimes it's a good practice not to add to problems when we already have them. I am not judging because we all do it and it's spilled milk now.

    When you give something away for free people will always want it to be free. You are offering a service and should be compensated for your time. Do you have an agent or someone who has done this type of thing before?

    And most of all are you away from your husband? If not the unstable equation that he adds to the household won't make your days anymore pleasant. But it does sound like you need to tackle these issues one at a time.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Feb 9, 2015, 01:49 PM
    A consultation with a divorce lawyer will help you get your ducks in a row to leave this bad marriage whether your business takes off anytime soon or not. You already know that finances can trap people into bad circumstances, but staying trapped is a choice.

    Can family help?
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
    Adult Sexuality Expert
     
    #4

    Feb 10, 2015, 08:58 AM
    A point to touch on, when someone keeps saying "I am going to kill myself if you don't...." is emotionally manipulating you. In other words he's trying to get you to do what he wants. It is best to be strong and continue on by ignoring that threat. Consulting a divorce lawyer maybe some psychiatric help for your (soon to be ex)husband is the best way to go.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #5

    Feb 10, 2015, 08:33 PM
    Divorce can be expensive, but you have one child already, another on the way. Does he work? If so, he has to help support those children.

    I'd ask family to help you with living expenses until you get back on your feet. Also, he'll likely have at least partial custody, so you won't have to worry about the kids all the time, he's a parent too.

    While you're waiting for your book and your events to make you money, get a job that pays you for the hours you work, that will help while you build your brand.

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