[joy2theworld]

So New Years is in like two days and I thought I was spending it with my boyfriend. I told him I didn't care where we spent it just that we spent it together. He told me that he wanted me to choose where we would hang out, so either a party my friend was throwing (which we were supposed to go to anyway) or something else. I told him I didn't want to force him away from his friends just so I could hang out with mine so he said he would bring them to the party. But just tonight he told me he wasn't goig because he thought her party would be lame, and that instead he was going to hang out with only his guy friends. All I wanted was to be able to spend New Years with him. I already told him that I wanted a new years kiss and he was all for it. It's not like I was asking him to come alone around people he didn't know. He's friends with my friends and he also was going to bring his. Now I'm not going to go to the party at all because there's no point in going alone. All my friends have boyfriends so when new years comes they will all be having there special kiss while I just sit there and watch. So there's no point. I want to talk to him but I don't now how to talk to him about this without sounding whiny and annoying. Any advice?

[Fr_Chuck]

Either you were so indecisive that he felt you did not really want to go anywhere, or a New Year kiss was not as important as you think it is.
Also, I doubt if everyone at the party will be boyfriend and girlfriend, unless that is arranged that way.

Also, how old are you, if 16 or 17, often yes, the boys will go off with their guy friends instead. If you are 25, then it means he does not really care for you that much. Age makes a difference here greatly.

Also did he really keep asking you to decide, after it was already arranged, is so, then he was telling you, (perhaps) he wanted you to pick somewhere else. But did not want to really say it.

[joypulv]

You are 16, right? This is common at your age, when hanging out with the group clashes with being alone together. It's why it's important to hang onto best friends over romance. They are the ones who are there when things go wrong.

I would go to your party and be alone. It doesn't have to be awkward unless you make it so. Parties aren't for couples to just moon over each other, and the 'special kiss' moment is really kind of silly, and it only lasts a second anyway, so get over that part. Your boyfriend is not ready for a girlfriend if all he wants to do is hang out with his guy friends on New Years. Go back to being unattached and feel free again.

[Cat1864]

joy2, this will seem harsh because it isn't what you want to hear. I have read all of your posts and this is the only advice I have to give.

It is time to let this relationship go. From all that you have told us over the past few months, this is par for the course. He isn't interested in being with you as a couple. He my say he does but it seems more like an attempt to keep you on his string than actually wanting to be together. I don't know what he is getting out of time spent with you but it isn't the same as what you want. You want a boyfriend. He doesn't seem to want to be one unless he is getting his needs (whatever they are) met.

Frankly, I think you are both holding on just to be able to say you are in a relationship. At the end of November beginning of December you broke up for a four days (this is after you broke up earlier in Nov. or October because he wasn't ready for a relationship.) That should have been the end of all of this. You both should have moved on and found someone more suitable to your own needs. You definitely do not seem to be good for each other.

Go to the party. Have fun. More than likely you won't be the only person there who is single. Or ask another friend to go with you. Let it be the beginning of a much better year without the rollercoaster ride you have been on for the past, approximately, seven months.

[talaniman]

You are much too worried about being with him when he obviously doesn't feel the same. Go have fun without him and don't worry about what he is doing and you will be much happier. You guys have many issues as do most very young couples, but you are way too dependent on him for your happiness, and he is happy without you.

See the difference?

[joy2theworld]

Either you were so indecisive that he felt you did not really want to go anywhere, or a New Year kiss was not as important as you think it is.
Also, I doubt if everyone at the party will be boyfriend and girlfriend, unless that is arranged that way.

Also, how old are you, if 16 or 17, often yes, the boys will go off with their guy friends instead. If you are 25, then it means he does not really care for you that much. Age makes a difference here greatly.

Also did he really keep asking you to decide, after it was already arranged, is so, then he was telling you, (perhaps) he wanted you to pick somewhere else. But did not want to really say it.

I just talked to him about it over the phone and he said he didn't understand why I was even upset and he didn't get why I didn't want to go to my friends party alone. He said the only reason my friends boyfriends are going is because there will be alcohol and they may get laid. I know that's not true. Any of those boys could get alcohol anywhere else, they are there because they want to spend New Years with their girlfriends. I'm just always the odd one out with them, I don't know how they can manage to get there boyfriends to spend time with them but when Im crying on the phone because I'm upset, mine "doesn't understand" I just ugh. This is the first time I've ever been truly mad at him in our relationship. We never fight, we have small arguments but nothing to get me mad. Am I over reacting?

[Cat1864]

I just talked to him about it over the phone and he said he didn't understand why I was even upset and he didn't get why I didn't want to go to my friends party alone. He said the only reason my friends boyfriends are going is because there will be alcohol and they may get laid. I know that's not true. Any of those boys could get alcohol anywhere else, they are there because they want to spend New Years with their girlfriends. I'm just always the odd one out with them, I don't know how they can manage to get there boyfriends to spend time with them but when Im crying on the phone because I'm upset, mine "doesn't understand" I just ugh. This is the first time I've ever been truly mad at him in our relationship. We never fight, we have small arguments but nothing to get me mad. Am I over reacting?

joy2, how many times have the two of you broken up? You don't have to fight to have a toxic relationship. It is not a good thing to break up on an average of once a month (from what I can gather from your other posts.)

Their boyfriends are committed to the relationship. Yours isn't.

[talaniman]

You obviously don't have the same kind of boyfriend your friends have. Adjust because you can never change him.

[dontknownuthin]

The new year kiss lasts all of two seconds. I'm single too and most people I know are married. Like go anyway. Usually additional to the kiss are hugs all around among friends and it is fine.

Let the kid go - he isn't not the relationship and it is not the end of the world. The cd news is that you don't have to continue being hurt and disappointed b the dead weight of a boyfriend. Look for someone who is enthusiast. About being with you and show is a great friend. He may not be the cutest guy or the most popular so really notce who is around for you in life. The slid and steady guys who are just there as your friend? Give them a chance.

From my class of high school (we are all 50 now) the guys who were often overlokoked are the winners now. The God students, the nice guys - yeah, now they are the faithful millionaire husbands and dads.