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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #21

    Feb 21, 2015, 02:35 PM
    You back off and see what happens. It is quite normal as you learn another person to see good, and not so good. When he is ready you will talk, but you have to allow him space to deal with himself, and act accordingly. In the meantime do your own thing.

    Of course you are concerned, and it's so easy to get use to the routine you have already established, but this may be a time for patience, as adjustments are needed,in both thinking and actions. No hurry though to figure it out, nor have the perfect solution.

    Just be cool and be observant, and did I mention, keep doing your own thing. It's a case of more facts will be revealed later, and who knows if that's a good thing, or a bad thing, and only you can know what you should do about it. Do what's best for you. What do you think?
    CFZD's Avatar
    CFZD Posts: 385, Reputation: 49
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    #22

    Feb 21, 2015, 05:33 PM
    Good advice Tal!

    I always thought he is an honest person, he said he will never drink and things are going well, so I don't understand why he started to drink again.

    I really want to know why but if he is not telling I can't do much. I don't think it has anything to do with me so I will leave him alone until he is ready to talk about it.

    I won't text or call, until he talks to me this time.

    If I have a urge I will ask you first, you can calm me down, and teach me to learn to be patient. :)

    Thanks again Tal. Your advice is noted and followed!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #23

    Feb 21, 2015, 06:13 PM
    Your right, it's not about you, or likely, not about the relationship either, but more about him, and the way he deals with his issues. Early dating is about fun, as you learn, but no reason to rush in to deeply into things so soon, and get stuck. As you learn about him, you will learn more about YOU, and how YOU handle things, so keep it real with yourself.

    It's a process, and you are only at the first steps.
    CFZD's Avatar
    CFZD Posts: 385, Reputation: 49
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    #24

    Feb 21, 2015, 08:45 PM
    Thanks Tal. You are wonderful. Through the years you have taught me a lot. I will keep you posted. Good night for now. :-)
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #25

    Feb 22, 2015, 01:00 AM
    It appears there is something wrong, he merely said, it is not about you, which appears to mean there is a problem, and he does not wish to share it with you.

    Did you specifically ask about the drinking? If you are really good friends you should be able to talk about anything.
    CFZD's Avatar
    CFZD Posts: 385, Reputation: 49
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    #26

    Feb 22, 2015, 12:33 PM
    I asked he said it's personal choice if drinking again. I just gently said don't drink too much. A bit is fine.

    I don't want to be pushy and I will give him time to be alone.

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