[CFZD]

Hello there,

Are there any people out there that decide to never get married or never have kids?

How does that impact your life? How are you liking/disliking it?

For those who have been married and have kids, how are you liking and disliking it?

If you can do it again, would you do it differently?

Thanks,

[J_9]

I'm married, twice. I have two children with my first husband and two with my second. I would not change a thing.

[NeedKarma]

My kids are my success story.

[tickle]

My kid is my success story !

[Wondergirl]

One of my husband's sisters married, but she and her husband chose not to have children. Over the years, they've traveled, rehabbed an older home, gone out to eat a lot, started their own successful business, and adopted shelter animals. They've never expressed regrets about not having children and are as devoted to each other as they were the day they married 40-some years ago.

We had two children. Had we been childless, I'm guessing I would have continued teaching plus working with children and families in social services and probably volunteering at an animal shelter. We would have traveled more, too, and probably to Europe (Italy?).

I have friends and relatives who have never married and have had happy, interesting lives. Life is what you make it.

[Jake2008]

I have been married almost 40 years, and have two grown children. I married at age 22, so the only life I have ever known, is with a family and kids.

To ask whether I would do things differently, looking back, I'd have to guess at what that life would have been.

Before I got married, I had already been to college, and just received word of an interview for Air Canada. I declined because the relationship with my now husband was serious. Had I taken that opportunity of a career with Air Canada- the future was literally wide open, all over the world. I could have travelled, made good money, indulged in vacations all over the world. Met interesting people, maybe settled down somewhere in my career, all the while being able to support myself.

I had many interests and so much promise, right out of college. Life would have been so much easier without a husband and kids. I'm being honest here. One was born with many difficulties that still remain to this day. We moved many times over the years, so my husband's career could blossom, and I could raise the kids and work part time. Times were tough through layoffs, and I became an expert coupon cutter. Still am. Friendships happened through what my kids were into- Brownies, hockey, skating, swimming lessons, school. I had kids in common with many women, but little else.

Everything I did revolved around my kids and my husband, and that was/is my life.

Would I do things differently, given the chance?

Absolutely yes.

[joypulv]

I have been married, but chose to remain childless. I did not think that I would be a good mother. My mother resented her husband and 3 children and made it clear, constantly. My sister and brother wanted to be parents, to be GOOD parents. Our dad was a good parent. My brother's kids' ages span 15 years, but they will have spent 33 years raising them all to 18!

I have at times thought about babies, toddlers, pre-teens, teens... adoption, fostering, having my own. I acted out little scenes in my mind about loving them and teaching them and wondering how I would be if they came from troubled homes themselves. But I have no regrets about my decision. A child is at least 18 years of full time attention. I have a dog and cat and that's all I want. Now that I'm 68, I have no children to take care of me if I need it. So what? There are other options.

I think an American survey of parents showed that just about half regretted having kids! But isn't that sort of meaningless? Take the kids away, there's a good chance that most of them will miss their children. 'What if' doesn't work very well as a survey.

[CFZD]

Jake,

I want to share my life story with you. I finished college at 22 as well, have had great career and traveled to 22 countries so far. Lived in different countries too.

But I did not have a husband or kid so far, the more I work on myself, such as focusing on career and traveling to see the world, the more difficult for me to find a suitable mate and related people around me.

I do volunteer, help friends' with their kids/ pets here and there, I also take good care of my mum. I have a good circle of friends now after at least two years of living in a place without moving... in a small city. It's already busy with work, family and friends that I have.

I don't know what is like to get married, and have kids, it is not something I can try and just call it off. I am overall happy about my current life, but I do notice my life is so much different from my colleagues and friends who have been married ahd having kids. I feel that is less stressful being on my own, and I wonder why people get married...

It might be an easy answer, that you find your love or you like kids and would like to have your own. But what if I never really met any man I like, and I do not wish to have kids?

Am I wrong? Or weird? Or selfish?



I don't have a desire right now to have kids or have a husband, or not even a boyfriend, lol. I just am happy by myself.

[Wondergirl]

I envy you. All my life, until now, I have had to be the strong one, the caretaker, the family builder. Now that I'm retired with adult children, I can relax a bit, but my family still relies on me for holiday meals, occasional bits of advice, and common sense.

No, you're not weird, wrong, or selfish. Just be true to yourself, as it sounds like you have been doing.

[ma0641]

4 Children, 5 grandchildren-so far- and am so happy when I see how all gave grown and developed.

[Fr_Chuck]

My best friend in America has never married, and no children, he is happy, devotes all his time into his pleasures of church, gardening and nature.

I am widowed twice and divorced once, with 5 children and 12 grandchildren, would not change a thing, even the pain and heartache, it has made me, who I am