Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    mogrann's Avatar
    mogrann Posts: 860, Reputation: 193
    Dogs Expert
     
    #1

    Dec 3, 2014, 06:42 PM
    Self esteem and photographs
    I must say this firstly. Do not make this into oh you are good looking, just think good thoughts etc.

    I have very poor self esteem about my physical appearance. It is to the point I will dress so I stay hidden. Hoodies with the hood up are my favored way of dressing. I know I am a good person on the inside and I believe that affects my outside appearance if people get to know me.

    Today I had a thought. It was after listening to the song Skin by Sixx AM. He has taken pictures of people that most would consider not "normal" or "good looking".

    I was wondering if one had the time and a photographer willing to do this would someone taking pics of you not posed and not with you dressed up... if they kept taking pics would you become comfortable and would you relax and eventually get to like how you look? Or am I way out in left field.

    Remember it does not matter what others think of me as to be honest I will discount your words as you are just being nice etc. Please don't go that route
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Dec 3, 2014, 06:50 PM
    I've always hated having my picture taken, dressed up or not. And I married into a family of camera and camcorder addicts. (How long can one stay hidden in the bathroom during a family dinner? Ask me.)

    I want people to remember me for how nice or happy or considerate I was, not for how I looked. I'm hoping there won't be any cameras in Heaven (or wherever I end up....).
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #3

    Dec 3, 2014, 08:51 PM
    First, I have a thing for people who do not feel good about self image, to go to Walmart and watch people going in there. After a hour or so, one should feel, they are not really bad looking.

    With that said, often it is our dress, and they way we dress, that gives us a bad self image, you feel bad, so you dress bad, so it makes you feel worst.

    But to answer your question yes,

    I get my photo taken 100's of times a week. I can not go to the store shopping or eat at a shop, without having my photo taken, At some point, it just does not matter any more.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #4

    Dec 3, 2014, 08:57 PM
    I also hate having my picture taken. In the last few years I've gained weight, and I hate how my body looks. I used to love having my picture taken, but right now I just don't feel comfortable having it done. It just depresses me.

    Having said that, it really does depend on you. I think that you'd likely be okay with it. After all, you have tons of pictures of you on your fb. Obviously it's not that big a deal to have your picture taken. Me, I have pictures, but you'd have to put a gun to my head to have me post one on fb.
    mogrann's Avatar
    mogrann Posts: 860, Reputation: 193
    Dogs Expert
     
    #5

    Dec 4, 2014, 07:15 AM
    Thing is Alty I am good at masks and walls. Too good if I fooled you too.
    My thought processes and actions are :
    I can get my pic taken as to say no would be rude
    I don't like it and won't look at it
    How many pics do you see me relaxed and smiling
    If I do look at a picture I criticize it lots and will judge myself. This has become automatic
    I can actually right now list of things that I hate about myself from my head to my toes
    I don't wear make up as I have no clue on how to apply it or even colors to use
    I don't style my hair as it won't make a difference. After saying that I have no idea why I dyed my hair red so that I would stand out. But look what happened to me people were laughing at me at work.

    This is not about me just not liking my pic taken. Mine is more extreme I am wondering if I would become comfortable and relaxed. If I would let my true self show eventually. How I am thinking is if someone is in a room with you you maybe nervous at first, but if they do nothing to make you more nervous it should lessen, and if there are no triggers from them too. Gah I wish I could explain what I am thinking
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
    Expert
     
    #6

    Dec 4, 2014, 07:35 AM
    The thing is Mogrann, you let your picture get taken. Whether you look uncomfortable in them or not, you let it happen. And in many you are smiling and happy. That's more than can be said for me. I will not be in front of a camera, and if I am, I won't show my face. I also criticize my photos as does every person who has their picture taken.

    Its similar to hearing your voice on a recording, it sounds different to you than what you think you sound like.

    My FB pic is not one of the real me, yes, the face is real, but that is all. The rest is photoshopped.

    There is no shame in not wanting your picture taken. None at all. This would be good to bring up in therapy. You are healing in some aspects, but in others you are victimizing yourself again.

    Truth told Mogrann, if you don't like to have your picture taken, don't have your picture taken. It's very easy to say that you just don't feel comfortable in front of a camera lens.

    If people don't like your hair cut and/or color. That's their problem, not yours. Hair grows back, that isn't something that is permanent.

    If you don't know anything about makeup, learn. I'm doing that now.

    Every single person in the world can make a list of everything that they don't like about themselves. You aren't alone. This is why plastic surgeons make so much money.

    The he only difference between you and I is that I accept that I'm not perfect, that I'm not model quality.

    Inner peace ace comes with acceptance as to who you are, inside and out. It matters not at all what anyone thinks about your looks except for you.
    mogrann's Avatar
    mogrann Posts: 860, Reputation: 193
    Dogs Expert
     
    #7

    Dec 4, 2014, 08:03 AM
    It is not about the photos though it is about if this is a way to help with the self esteem and even self hatred. I am wondering if the act of photograph non judgementally, calmly, no pressure would eventually help with it.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
    Expert
     
    #8

    Dec 4, 2014, 08:17 AM
    For me I find it worsens my self esteem. This is why I stay away from the camera. I have no problem with that.

    At one point in my life I was model quality. I will have to find the time to find it, scan it, and send it to you. I was 18 then. I'm 50 now. I'm not comfortable with my aging. I never thought I would feel this way, but I do, and I accept it.

    For me, your idea wouldn't work. It would only cement my mortality (sounds crude I know). So rather than increasing my stress and decreasing my self esteem, I choose to stay away from the camera.

    Personally, I think your idea would heighten your stress levels.
    Baby steps here. One thing at a time. You are trying to get 100% better too fast and too furious. Focus on one issue at a time.
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
    Adult Sexuality Expert
     
    #9

    Dec 4, 2014, 08:29 AM
    The thing is seeing yourself in the photos. Looking at the photos once they've been developed. Looking at them you're going to, as we all do, pick out everything you hate about them and everything that makes you ugly in those photos. Chubby thighs, arm fat, saggy boobs, double chin, blemishes, hair, hands, and the list goes on. That is what will probably drag you down into self-esteem/image pit of sadness and despair. What you always miss is the good things, and don't even try to tell me there aren't any. Look at a photo you have of yourself, pick out the things that look good, or look cute.

    Setting yourself up with a camera man will get your more comfortable with your picture taken, until you realize that you can't go ANYWHERE without it being taken or recorded in some fashion, ATM, gas station, store, gym, any retail space, public space, random people, etc. That's a good first step, what you need to do afterwards is get more comfortable with how you look. When you actually look at the pictures, just pick out what you like, make a list of it. As well start looking at fashion for your body type. Look for out on the street and in the boutiques. The things is that there isn't a body type that can't be flattered. Looking like a sack of potatoes isn't flattering, but you can get clothing that will work with your body type.

    The last thing is realizing that people aren't staring at you, judging you, making fun of you, or are disapproving of you and how you look. Well any more then anyone else. Make a huge change and people will notice and comment, but a lot of the judging isn't in the direction you think it is. If anything it is support or jealously that you had the cahonies to do a massive change like that.

    Good luck, and you're never as ugly as you think you are.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Exporting Photographs [ 1 Answers ]

How do I export a large photo folder from my iMac to my iPad?

Photographs [ 3 Answers ]

Im a new mom, my son is a month old now. Recently I was at a friends home and my friends neighbor had come over to see the baby and pick up her own daughter, she's a photography major and asked if she could do newborn pictures of him, I was ecstatic and said sure, she wants them to be Halloween...

Need Help On These Historical Photographs [ 6 Answers ]

Hi I have some historical photo's from the Lateran Treaty between Pope Pius XI and Mussolini in 1929. These are real photo's from inside during the signing. I think the only other photo's like this is at the vatican. But please help me with maybe would these be worth getting looked at/appraised...

Check out these photographs... [ 7 Answers ]

http://alyssamonks.com/popup/popup.asp?sid=519BA2FD-3C2F-4553-8A2A-FC0735E9BB73&imgname=weight.jpg http://www.thetoyzone.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/girlpaintedlooksreal.jpg http://www.thetoyzone.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/lunch.jpg...

Selling Photographs [ 1 Answers ]

I have photographs of Yosemite National Park. Can I sell copies of these photographs, e.g. make posters or larger images, since they are images taken in a national park? Do I have to get a copyright? Ken:)


View more questions Search