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kingsmolen · Oct 26, 2014, 07:13 PM

Ok so here's the story, I met a very beautiful girl about two months ago. She's fun,funny, has goals, and the list goes on. We met at collage and hit it off great. She's 18 I'm 25 should I consider that a problem? That's not the issue here that's just a side question. I want to know if this girl is girlfriend material or should I just move on. We have not made a commitment so really the things she's done I'm not sure if I have the right to be mad at or not.(1) she's is very flirty with lots of guys and likes to tease them. (2) she's has a guy that's a best friend and I just found out they make out together.. They've been friends for like 6 years and I know if me and her became BF/GF I can't expect her to stop talking to her.(3) I've caught her lying to me. The reason I haven't got all up set is because we are not committed to each other so I'm like "hey do what you want". She's very hard to read. Because she's text and calls me everyday, she shows up at my classes she brought me home to meet her parents. She's cooks for me brings me food and so so much more.. But then those three things really throw me off. Maybe the age is the big difference? I guess I never really gave it thought because I've seen a lot bigger age differences before. I really just would like a few outlooks from people. And get a different perspective on the situation.

J_9 · Oct 26, 2014, 07:25 PM

Is this the same girl?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...do-801777.html

Homegirl 50 · Oct 26, 2014, 07:45 PM

She is not even your girlfriend. She is an 18 year old enjoying being single.

odinn7 · Oct 26, 2014, 08:02 PM

You're trying to decide if she's GF material? How about thinking that maybe she has something to do with that decision as well? I know you keep saying you can't be mad about things because you're not committed yet but the fact that you even bring these issues up means, to me, that you are upset about them. I understand being upset about being lied to because nobody wants to be lied to but the other problems, well, they really aren't problems at all.

As was said, she's single and seems to be enjoying her time...you are looking too deeply into this.

kingsmolen · Oct 26, 2014, 08:38 PM

Actually yes it made me very upset. And I never said she didn't have a choice in the decision, I know I'm good for her the question is "is she good for me?" As cocky as that might sound. And her teasing guys isn't a big deal? Or her making out with her best friend? I think that's pretty big if your going to consider someone as long term.and yes it is the same girl. I met a few others but I'm not super interested in them.

J_9 · Oct 26, 2014, 09:04 PM

No, this girl isn't girlfriend material. She is having too much fun living the single life right now. She doesn't sound like she is ready to be committed just yet.

kingsmolen · Oct 26, 2014, 10:11 PM

Thank you for the straight answer 👍👌

Fr_Chuck · Oct 26, 2014, 10:19 PM

can you date her, yes, will she want to be committed at this point, Most likely no. but it does not mean you can not date.

It all depends on if you can tolerate open dating, where she is also out, doing things with other guys.

I will say that most people should for several months just date, and not even consider being serious or committed or a while.

My current wife is 15 years younger, no big deal at my point in life.

but a 18 year old, may have different values at this point in her life.

odinn7 · Oct 26, 2014, 10:34 PM

Originally Posted by kingsmolen

And her teasing guys isn't a big deal? Or her making out with her best friend? I think that's pretty big if your going to consider someone as long term.and yes it is the same girl.

No, it's not a big deal because you aren't dating. IF you were dating, then sure, it's a big deal...but you're not dating, right? So no problem.

kingsmolen · Oct 26, 2014, 11:35 PM

Yea that age gap might be a huge difference.. I have noticed she has a lot of conflicting values.. I guess at this point I'll friend zone her and explore other options.

talaniman · Oct 27, 2014, 08:48 AM

Originally Posted by kingsmolen

Yea that age gap might be a huge difference.. I have noticed she has a lot of conflicting values.. I guess at this point I'll friend zone her and explore other options.

Why not. That's what she has done to you. Any female is GF material. For how long is a different matter. Why trip on it?

kingsmolen · Oct 27, 2014, 08:57 AM

I'm tripping because I'm emotionally invested at This point and don't want to get any deeper before it blows up In My face

talaniman · Oct 27, 2014, 11:54 AM

I guess the real problem is you have an issue with controlling your own "emotional investments". Or LUST. Join the party! ;D

kingsmolen · Oct 28, 2014, 10:51 PM

Lol actually I have trouble with both 👍👌😁

talaniman · Oct 29, 2014, 06:47 AM

Don't get carried away by either (even if they are the same). Think with the big head, not the small one is what you do. The keyword is THINK.

Putting her in the friend zone and pursuing other options was a wise decision, and a good sign that you can THINK with the BIG head, even when the small one tells you to go get it. That's not always easy.

mmresd · Oct 29, 2014, 04:54 PM

You have no right to complain about anything as both of you are single and can do as you please. It seems that even if she is girlfriend worthy she is not interested in having a relationship at this time.

kingsmolen · Oct 30, 2014, 05:44 PM

Talaiman that's was all great advice

joypulv · Oct 30, 2014, 06:18 PM

She isn't gf material because you are here asking if she is. I find it a creepy question, as though she's a car model - making you not bf material. How can total strangers possibly know if a girl is right for you based on a few sentences you write? Or on any number of sentences? And all we know about you is that you are 25.

Anyone who describes another person and not themselves needs to do some introspection.

Alty · Oct 30, 2014, 08:55 PM

Just because the two of you made a collage together, doesn't mean she's girlfriend material.

Okay, jokes aside, sorry but a 25 year old that's in college and can't spell college, I had to mention that. It's just too "wow" to let slide. :)

Thing is, she's 18, she's a teen. You're very much an adult. Let me put it into perspective a bit. At 18 I dated a lot of guys. At 24 I was married to my one and only, and I'm still married almost 20 years later.

She's a teen. She's sewing her wild oats, she's having fun, she's testing the waters.

The main thing I have to ask: you say you don't know if she's girlfriend material. Have you even asked her if she wants to be your girlfriend, because from what you say she's doing, I'd guess she's not interested right now. She's too busy being a teen.

Maybe try to look back at what you were like at 18 to gain some perspective.

Good luck. :)

joypulv · Oct 31, 2014, 03:40 AM

SOWING wild oats.